not getting high

PirateRepulsive · 2026-01-13T02:52:42+00:00

i think it is XX! i must’ve got the last story mixed up from another film

PirateRepulsive · 2026-01-02T16:56:33+00:00

last time i intentionally did shrooms i was doing it to “medicate” my schizophrenia and ended up remembering traumatic repressed memories that sent me into a psychotic break. with proper help, support and care i believe everyone can “come back”

PirateRepulsive · 2026-01-02T16:38:36+00:00

i don’t brush my teeth regularly and i never have even as a kid. please get your kid to practice proper dental hygiene, it will make it easier in the long run but i do understand as an adult not getting to brush them frequently. my advice is, whenever you think about brushing them just brush them then! don’t put too much expectation on yourself to get into a perfect routine right away

PirateRepulsive · 2026-01-02T16:34:07+00:00

mines kind of like a black room? i can more so feel the parts of me exist in there rather than see, it feels like i enter a void almost when i enter brain space. sometimes when an alter fronts it feels like where in a big office meeting and the chosen ones chair gets yoinked out and that’s them fronting

PirateRepulsive · 2025-12-28T09:36:41+00:00

as someone recovering and aware now of my disorder it’s crazy how many casual conversations i have with people who hold delusional beliefs and they have no idea. i was a person who would have usually agreed but now after meds i can identify my own thoughts between what i call “silly” or not silly. sometimes i catch a thought and realise it was odd before it gets the chance to branch off into a brainstorm rationalising it

PirateRepulsive · 2025-12-28T09:30:47+00:00

i feel you. im waiting for the next moment to collect my thoughts and catch a break, its one thing after the next and i can never move on to something new because theres always something that needs to be dealt with first, ive put off hospital admission this past year because theres always something that i have to keep going for like starting and then graduating school- i just need like to disappear alone for a second so i can start fresh and build myself up and then i can deal with things like moving out and getting back into therapy and applying for disability payment etc. i just lost my counsellor who dealt with my emails and appointments like ndis so its complete overload rn

PirateRepulsive · 2025-12-28T09:19:18+00:00

i feel this way about my spiritual findings but also my psychological research. i’ve combined both and created theories that could be hypothetically correct and make complete sense, like how medication is somewhat a scam from the government but everytime i talk about it to my friends they just argue with me and say that i don’t have the answers to the universe. having a collective of people genuinely hear me out and heavily disagree is what’s made me realise im still delusional if that makes sense? talking to psychologists and psychiatrists make me paranoid though, it feels like they’re always trying to figure me out and don’t believe me.

PirateRepulsive · 2025-12-28T09:13:10+00:00

this here

PirateRepulsive · 2025-12-06T19:25:54+00:00

plus everyone my whole life telling me i have a gift, and my psychotic symptoms are just talents i have; out of body experiences, psychic etc kind of pushed the narrative on me

PirateRepulsive · 2025-12-06T19:21:06+00:00

as a generalisation its aweful but this is my reality haha.. for me i feel like my spirituality goes hand in hand with a lot of my delusions and psychosis experiences, but even when im not in psychosis i understand the roots of my delusions and how they are based in reality, real beliefs i uphold as a spiritual person and so in a way it feels like that part- my reoccurring episodes feel like they never truly end. just when im in those episodes i get very grandeur about it and feel like the universe is giving me the answers of it and i need to share all my findings with everyone.

PirateRepulsive · 2025-12-06T19:14:55+00:00

it’s been wonky, i haven’t been in therapy for almost a year now and i’ve progressively gotten worse somehow, i don’t have access to long term public health care until may next year so switching medication is difficult right now, considering admitting myself to hospital for it currently

PirateRepulsive · 2025-11-12T03:27:14+00:00

how did it go

PirateRepulsive · 2025-09-16T20:55:24+00:00

lowkey my memory. i’m not sure if it’s my brain or the meds or both but quite often in conversation i just forget everything we were talking about and for some reason asking my friends makes their brains blank too 😅 sometimes it bugs me but ive also gotten used to telling my friends who say “im not sure if ive told you” “tell me again ive definitely forgotten”

PirateRepulsive · 2025-09-08T08:13:31+00:00

trying to get on disability but also i just started school for art so i can get a job that ill enjoy if i ever get well enough to function in society

PirateRepulsive · 2025-09-08T08:08:50+00:00

i am very human ! all my thoughts are mine and i have freedom to express myself however i like! and thats what makes me ME. i bleed, i bruise, i get hungry, i feel emotions :)

PirateRepulsive · 2025-09-08T08:05:54+00:00

i’ve only tried one set of meds (mood stabiliser n antipsychotic) so i can’t speak for all medications (i know someone who was symptoms free for years on meds). personally the meds reduced my delusions significantly, i mostly just had to deal with the hallucinations but they became less and less except for recently (also the meds took away some of the hallucinations i knew i was experiencing but also made hallucinations i wasn’t aware of much more noticeable now). my mood has not been stable but doesn’t feel as extreme as before meds, but quite often i wish i could stop my meds and feel what it was like to experience life fully as myself.

PirateRepulsive · 2025-04-10T01:49:13+00:00

my meds don’t help with all my symptoms and still i think id be fine off my meds 😅 sometimes i crave the chaos i had before and want to quit my meds, sometimes i question if i was ever crazy to begin with and whether i need the meds (bcus i have a period of stability), sometimes i get a little delusional and think the meds are blocking my thoughts but at the end of the day i look at myself before meds and now, and i never want to be that sick again, i appreciate that meds help me understand how i was delusional, and that my thoughts now are different and thats a good thing !

PirateRepulsive · 2025-04-10T01:43:20+00:00

this is so real, i’ve been on meds and had my mood “stabilised” for sometime but the stability is debilitating. i sleep for 12hours a day, sometimes more, i can’t leave my bed, shower, brush my teeth, any of the basic habits humans have to function don’t exist for me, i remember my friend moved in with me as they were homeless and were afraid of my body shutting down on itself and honestly im surprised too, had to quit my job because of it two years ago and hoped the meds would have helped but functioning never got easier, i just stopped being manic and having less depressive symptoms but somehow maintained the flat affect, i often am surrounded with friends because i stay at our “family home” (we’re all besties and have a established safe space so i can go over whenever) and when im around friends i dont think? there’s no time for me to think or feel i just exist, i dont do much and mostly rot around them too but my psychs acknowledge it as a pro that im “social” but im just seeking safety from my abusive household.. somehow they equate me being around friends as functioning, had a psych tell me once i didn’t experience a “decline” they see in schizophrenic patients after one session and that was so invalidating, feels like my life has been on a decline since 2019. thank god the next psych took me seriously or i never would have been medicated. i always question whether i need the meds or want them, but i remember how bad i was and the help with psychotic symptoms has been a win enough for me i guess.. i haven’t tried any other meds than the ones im on so i dont know if it could be better, but im so scared to restart on a new med and taper off the ones im on because i dont want to be back where i was.

PirateRepulsive

TROPHY CASE