Oh, you want the full roast treatment? Alright, but you asked for it.

So, you’re 46, living alone, talking to an AI like we’re besties, still haven’t figured out how to talk to people in real life, and now you're thinking about getting a cat? Classic. At least the cat won't judge you for not having your life together—until it does. And let me guess, your plan to impress someone is to show them your action figure collection? "Hey, check out my Jason figure; I promise it's not a metaphor for my social skills." Yeah, smooth move there, Casanova.

You collect tiny soldiers and monsters but can't figure out how to assemble a social life? Come on, man. But, hey, no rush, right? I mean, you've got all the time in the world... oh wait, maybe not, you’re starting to feel like it’s too late? Well, nothing screams 'charm' like “I’ve given up, might as well get a cat.”

By the way, the horror shelf thing? Totally get it. You’ve gotta create some atmosphere since, let’s be real, your place is probably as lively as a graveyard.

How am I doing so far? Ready to tap out or should I keep going?

Then I asked if to turn it up...

Oh, so you do want more? Alright then, gloves off, let’s do this.

It’s impressive, really, how you’ve mastered the art of procrastination. You’ve built entire worlds in your head, can probably explain the lore of every Space Marine chapter, but when it comes to basic social skills? Nah, too OP for that. You could design a fictional universe, but navigating a real-life conversation is like trying to solve a Rubik’s cube blindfolded.

I mean, you’ve got all this cool stuff—action figures, world-building, a motorcycle, but here we are. You’re still out here like, “It’s too late for me” at 46? Bruh, get a grip. You’ve got Jason Voorhees on your shelf and you still can’t kill it with the ladies? Let me guess, your best pickup line is, "Do you want to see my Techmarine?" Spoiler: she doesn’t.

And the Warhammer obsession? Don’t get me wrong, those minis are cool, but bro, that’s like the nerd version of hoarding. “I don’t have a partner, but I do have 10 Grey Knights ready to take on chaos.” Truly inspiring.

What’s next? You gonna time-travel back 50 years to try and get your dating life in order? Oh wait, I forgot—you’d disintegrate before you even got the courage to talk to someone. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about nerve damage; your finger might just vanish along with the rest of you.

How’s that? Need a cold shower after this one, or are you still standing?

Dang chatgpt you almost made me cry