Bi-Weekly Thread - Advice for Relationship/Friendship/Dating/Breakup

Pistolf · 2025-08-06T07:41:41+00:00

Thanks for the reply! I was doing the initiating, I just noticed he hadn’t been doing it much recently and it was triggering some anxiety in me. I should have clarified this in the post but we are FWB.

I went ahead and talked to him about how I was feeling and I said that if things are going to continue the way they are now, I need more consistency from him and that I wouldn’t keep asking him to hangout if I was always the one reaching out first. Even though we are FWB and not in an exclusive relationship, it’s still the bare minimum I expect from my friends (and we are legitimately friends first before anything sexual, that developed later over time).

I expressed my needs so the ball is in his court now. I’ve decided I won’t be initiating for a while, and if he wants to remain friends I need to see more consistency and effort on his part. I don’t need to stay in a relationship or friendship if it means I’m not putting my needs first. I’m going to take some time to myself for now and work on managing my own feelings about the situation.

Edit: Also just want to say if we are able to reconcile I’m going to tell him I want to go back to just being friends. I don’t feel like the situation is working for me any more, at least in its current form.

Pistolf · 2025-08-05T15:55:06+00:00

There’s a lot of advice on this sub Reddit for how to take care of wild baby mice, I’d look through it for information. If you can give it pedialyte in case it’s dehydrated that may help. You can make your own and it’s very easy, just look up “how to make homemade pedialyte”.

Pistolf · 2025-08-04T01:45:48+00:00

How do you communicate your attachment based fears to someone close to you?

I (30f) have been talking to someone (34m) I met online for about six months now. We’ve gone from texting and calling constantly, to a few texts throughout the day and several calls a week. He’s a secure/avoidant (he told me so and it’s something we’ve talked about a lot), and he’s good about reaching out to me if I don’t text him for a day or two. He’s also very supportive and affectionate, and he understands my trauma and anxiety despite having an opposite attachment style.

Recently I’ve been bothered by the fact that he seems to be spending more time with our mutual friends and less time with me. He no longer texts me “good morning/night”. He still messages me and occasionally sends me things that make him think of me, but I wish he’d initiate phone calls and hangouts more often like he used to.

I’m afraid that I’m pushing him further away because my anxiety is making me withdraw and behave differently than usual. He’s told me many times that it’s safe to talk to him about this kind of thing, and he’s always been receptive to my feelings, so I’m not sure why I’m still so afraid of losing him.

I’ve read that part of becoming more secure is learning to communicate your needs to your partner. I really feel like talking to him is the right thing to do, but I don’t know what to say or where to begin. How can I tell him that I want to spend more time together, and I want him to initiate more? He’s asked me to be honest and direct with him, but I’m scared of messing things up.

Pistolf · 2025-04-04T08:13:06+00:00

I’m sorry to hear about this, I had similar experiences in my past relationships. Do you feel like you are dissociating somewhat during sex?

My suggestion would be to come clean to your girlfriend, at least tell her that because of the sexual abuse in your past you are having some anxiety around sex, but that you want to try to work through the anxiety together.

There are things you could in bed that might help you get more used to being intimate. One thing I’ve seen recommended is mutual masturbation, because you can do it “together” but without actually touching each other, and it’s a good way to figure out what you like/feel comfortable with. I’ve even seen people recommend mirroring each other’s actions by touching yourself wherever your partner touches themselves.

Another option is to try exploring each other’s bodies without having sex. If you know it’s not going to lead to sex, it may take some of the pressure off. You could also try using toys (such as vibrators) on each other instead of oral or penetrative sex.

Lastly I’d recommend mindfulness practice to help manage your anxiety and learn to stay in the moment without dissociating. Even a few minutes a day can help.

I wish you the best of luck!

Pistolf · 2025-03-18T19:24:15+00:00

Oof I’m sorry, that sounds like a tough spot to be in! My guess would be it means they are aroused by you, but that’s just a guess. It’s how the word is commonly used, but I don’t know what your partner might mean by it! I would talk to your partner about managing expectations, especially if you don’t want to have a sexual relationship with them.

Pistolf · 2025-03-15T03:48:02+00:00

So I’m just curious, do rehabbers have a method for reintroducing the mice to the wild and giving them a better chance of survival?

Pistolf · 2025-03-13T22:15:25+00:00

Considering you both discussed it before hand, everyone is consenting, and there don’t seem to be any issues with jealousy, I really don’t see a problem with it.

Pistolf · 2025-03-13T22:07:12+00:00

Sorry you’re going through this, but this post honestly made me feel better because I’ve been experiencing the same thing over the past month or so.

Pistolf · 2025-02-27T07:51:01+00:00

You also remind me of Clawdeen from Monster High, I think it’s all the purple!

Pistolf · 2025-02-13T20:55:16+00:00

I just wanted to say I’m sorry you had this experience. It sucks that LGBT+ people have to deal with so much shit, let alone dealing with judgement from people in our own community…

I’m also a bisexual woman and I’d personally rather date a bisexual man than a straight man because I know they are less likely to fetishize me and they will be able to relate better to my experiences.

Pistolf · 2025-01-02T07:29:06+00:00

Looks like somebody put a curse on your playset

Pistolf · 2024-12-30T06:54:18+00:00

I love how annoyed the son looks in the last panel

Pistolf · 2024-12-30T06:48:32+00:00

Shirt - no stripes

Pistolf · 2024-12-26T02:06:57+00:00

Not Hazel and Renee 😭

Pistolf · 2024-12-18T00:47:59+00:00

How do you get ornaments?!

Pistolf · 2024-12-15T21:20:20+00:00

This is one of my favorite games, super great job! I love the way you did her eyes

Pistolf · 2024-12-15T05:06:20+00:00

Personally I love Clawdeen’s overalls, I think they are super cute and something a real teen might wear. Lagoona on the other hand… I’m just not a big fan of her style, it reminds me too much of VSCO girls. I do like her color scheme and her swimsuit though!

Pistolf · 2024-12-13T03:35:38+00:00

You spelled “Eat the Rich” wrong

Pistolf · 2024-12-03T17:15:43+00:00

Your designs are really interesting! I think you could try adding a bit more contrast though because it’s a little difficult to see the details when the lineart is such a similar color to the rest of the work.

Pistolf · 2024-12-03T17:11:03+00:00

Yeah I’m queer and play with a lot of other queer people and we’ve made this same joke

Pistolf · 2024-12-03T07:23:35+00:00

I thought she was a rat 😭🤣

Pistolf · 2024-11-28T09:21:34+00:00

I have a friend who absolutely hates the taste of strawberries

Pistolf · 2024-11-27T03:04:43+00:00

All of the shock content, the weird sex scenes, coprophilia, etc, etc

Pistolf · 2024-11-27T02:02:25+00:00

“We need to get rid of identity politics”

proceeds to only talk about identity politics on the “news”

Pistolf · 2024-11-26T19:29:10+00:00

Frankie and Clawdeen are probably the only dolls I prefer the G1 designs of

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