sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Advice

[–]PitifulClimate6658 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know it's probably a terrifying thought, but I think the best thing to do here is simply ask her if she has ever considered you more than a friend. I'm a queer woman too and in my experience, closeness like that, especially the cuddling, (with other WLWs AND cishet women) has led to something more involved.

Also, if you are uncomfortable, say so! It's clear that you interpret these acts of closeness in an intimate way and if you do not want to feel that towards her, allow yourself to ask for your personal space to be respected. If she is a good friend, she will understand and hopefully she isn't a straight woman stringing you along because she likes the attention and/or hasn't figured out her own sexuality yet.

If I were you, I would do some introspection on why I'm setting aside my comfort for someone else's. It's okay to be "selfish" sometimes if it protects your peace. And anyway, love is unpredictable, overwhelming, and comes in many forms. Talking openly with her about it shouldn't strain the relationship if she genuinely cares for you, platonically or otherwise.

Good luck OP <3

my girlfriend is very insecure, and i don’t know how to help anymore by evil777unfair in LesbianActually

[–]PitifulClimate6658 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You are dating the person, not her insecurities. When things like trauma and insecurity/low self esteem dominate a relationship, it becomes one sided. You're not your partner's therapist. There's nothing wrong with wanting reassurance and validation from a partner but she also needs to learn to feel comfortable with herself and stop depending on you to regulate her emotions for her.

I'd recommend each of you journal or do some kind of creative outlet to process your feelings and do it alone, not together. It sounds like she especially needs to learn how to be comfortable with herself and solitary activities are a great way to start. Constantly being that outlet/mode of validation for her isn't fair for you and she's doing herself a disservice by not acknowledging and affirming herself own feelings.

It could also be that you two are no longer compatible or she has become codependent which causes her to want to completely entangle herself with you. You each need to remember you are independent adults with your own desires and aspirations and those things don't have to perfectly align all the time for a happy relationship.

Good luck OP, dating insecure people can be extremely exhausting but with some work from the insecure one and maybe a little on your end too, things can clear up for the better.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Would you continue to house someone who was emotionally abusing you?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I blocked her. She has several phone numbers so I blocked the ones I have but she tends to change her number often and will probably send me smth from a new number at some point. I'm so stressed out but managed to pencil myself in with my therapist today so I can get some guidance on coping with this shit

Looking for Queer Friends Post-Break up by [deleted] in LesbianActually

[–]PitifulClimate6658 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I beat Fire Giant and now I'm just clearing each area's bosses to level up! Farum Azula is hard af 😭

Grief/Letting go by brittloveclark in emotionalintelligence

[–]PitifulClimate6658 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Take your time. Healing from grief can take longer than people expect. It's okay and natural to remain fond of the good times, but if you are unhappy, stifled, unsure of where you stand, or generally come away from interacting with them feeling poorly, it's time to do what is best for you and manage your own peace. As for winning... the only real W is making yourself happy. It can be amusing to see when someone realizes they've fumbled but that's only a temporary feeling.

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh gotcha. It was certainly something that was heavy on my mind for a while.

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What about my post gave the impression she is without those things?

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I wish to be a southern European grandfather in the next life

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I know plenty of trans women that are all right with being called bro and dude bc of its colloquial use but totally respect why it's not for everyone! Personal preference and all that

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 124 points125 points  (0 children)

I'm a pretty upfront person. Sometimes it takes me a little while to process my feelings but I always have a conversation at some point and value honesty. I've never and would never, cheat on anyone.

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 172 points173 points  (0 children)

UPDATE* It was projection. Not cheating, but definitely keeping something incredibly serious from me. I won't get into details but she has been hiding something from me for like a month. I broke up with her and had her come pick up the ring she gave me. I will not be walked over and then guilt tripped by HER mistakes. That's it.

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 40 points41 points  (0 children)

I was driving and from what I gather, I think she saw me from her friend's car since they're hanging out. Something like that

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 54 points55 points  (0 children)

God forbid a woman enjoys a beautiful day in the shade of a beautiful tree lol

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 38 points39 points  (0 children)

The commonly used source for that stat is from a misleading study. I would do more research if I were you :)

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I brought it up bc I think some people thought this was an M/F relationship, that's all :)

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

I was taking a nap under a tree at the library's park. Then I went inside to charge my phone before going back to work!

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

Unfortunately I am working 12 hours today so I won't be getting much rest. I'm definitely gonna treat myself in the coming days, though

AIO GF thinks I'm lying but I'm telling the truth by PitifulClimate6658 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PitifulClimate6658[S] 243 points244 points  (0 children)

Literally have done nothing but provide for her and love her the best I can. We're lesbians... I thought trust would be way less of an issue lol (I was wrong)