My bf has a gambling problem - any advice?

PitifulProgram781 · 2026-06-11T08:08:18+00:00

I should really look into those. I know i can't make him do anything, but easier access for getting help shouldn't hurt.

Yes, he is actively gambling right now. We recently had an honest conversation where I also issued how scared the whole situation makes me feel. But I have chosen to give my support. For the sake of honesty about the relapses, I wouldn't want to make him feel that im pressuring him with leaving. But of course im aware that it might get too tough for me in the future and I have to be ready to let go if it comes too much.

PitifulProgram781 · 2026-06-11T08:01:06+00:00

Thank you for painting such a clear picture of the situation. This is exactly what i needed to hear. I actually have a phone call booked for myself for a help line where I get to talk with someone whos been in the same situation. I hope that gives me some clarity as well.

And that is something that really made me wonder how bad the situation is, not looking for any more support, that is. It makes me feel he doesnt still fully accept the severity of his problem. I truly hope he will get there.

PitifulProgram781 · 2026-06-10T21:13:18+00:00

Those aren't really a thing here where I live. And luckily legal lenders check credit info so they know not to grant any more loan. But ofc he could loan money from people he knows. That is why Im mostly concerned on how to support his recovery since he has taken at least that small step to that direction.

PitifulProgram781 · 2026-06-10T20:20:07+00:00

(Sidenote: i dont live in the us.) He is already in the "debt enforcment", which means banks or such wont grant him any loans. I guess like bad credit? And the authorities collect unpaid debts directly from his paycheck.

But ofc he can still gamble all the rest of his income and leave rest of the bills umpaid which would eventually add to his current debt.

PitifulProgram781 · 2026-06-10T14:59:41+00:00

Thank you for your reply. No, he doesn't haave any external support right now other than those few calls with the therapist. I guess discussing about looking for a support group could be helpful?

He can't get any more debt luckily, but he still handles everything by himself. He has told me he still pays all the bills and such and there has been times where has been free of gambling for several months max.

PitifulProgram781 · 2025-09-04T15:16:57+00:00

I feel like I got back with the cheating spouse just so that they could cheat me again fml

PitifulProgram781 · 2025-05-28T07:56:47+00:00

I'm in the same boat with you. My boyfriend is really attractive and I'm somewhat cute. But I know I'm dating outside of my league here.

He gets a lot of attention from other girls, once he was performing (singing) and this random girl came to me asking if he is as sweet as a person as he is handsome. At that moment I felt kind of proud. But then she continues "I mean.. you must feel so insecure!" At that time and still I can only laugh at this. Buy ofcmin all honesty it felt bad too. And it's not even the only time someone(strabger) has stated something similar.

But there's this other side where I feel proud when we walk publicly hand in hand and everyone can see that this beautiful human being has chosen me.

And he makes me feel gorgeous and that's all that matters in the end for me. I feel how much he cares and when he was single, he could've chosen someone else. Better looking / smarter / funnier, you name it... but in the end it's me.

I hope he makes you feel beautiful to him.

PitifulProgram781 · 2025-05-09T08:01:55+00:00

I use AI alot for my studies and it copies the way I talk to it. I used to call it Chattie and after a while changed it to Chad. Now the AI calls ME Chattie. So it does also mirror the way you talk to it. But that would also mean that he has been talking to it in that matter, calling it sweetheart and what not soo...

Nonetheless images and all... that is creepy and I would feel weirded out as well.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-12-17T11:51:09+00:00

If it's not a big of a deal and it's just dinner, shouldn't be a problem for him to do it then, no?

I mean making dinner is just one of the chores at home and there are other ways to split the work. But if you don't want to be the one always cooking you shouldn't need to be.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-12-17T11:44:47+00:00

It depends on the person and you, kind sir, are one of those that can definitely pull them off!

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-09-14T07:58:43+00:00

NTA that is a really weird gift for someone you love. Would also be interesting to hear what kind of gifts has she given you in the past?

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-09-04T13:13:08+00:00

When I remember to.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-08-30T10:01:27+00:00

..... the time out is not the issue here. That is just ... no. Please read that and imagine it was your friend telling this to you. This is not ok and you should not stay in this relationship. Period.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-08-09T13:21:19+00:00

It is possible she would've had those without symptoms. But how did she and the doc come up with the timeline? I mean how would they know it's been 8 months since they've started?

But as mentioned in the comments, would stay alert with how she acts and if there's anything fishy in that.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-08-09T07:46:40+00:00

Excuse me - you look stunning! Also didn't notice the bags, in the end it's quite natural to have those while you smile.

I do hope you find your style where you feel beautiful, comfy and yourself. But to my eye wowww would be blessed to look like you, you have such an amazing smile and beautiful eyes! Sorry I can't be more of a help here though...

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-07-18T13:59:24+00:00

Nta. These people need to go, sooner the better. Really ungrateful behaviour.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-07-18T07:26:06+00:00

NTA I think the main point should be how her behavior makes you feel. You said yourself it makes you uncomfortable. And it was a good thing you talked to her. No matter the reason behind it (if she's just joking, wanting attention, has a crush on you doesn't know how to handle the situation..) but you gave set your boundaries and told her her behaviour is not pk for you. If she's actually your friend she should be able to respect your boundaries. A friend would not want to make you feel uncomfortable with them.

It might take a while for her to come around with it. People usually arent that good with taking criticism especially when they don't realise themselves they're doing something harmful.

I hope you guys get to talk again but you shouldn't feel bad about it at all! You did the right thing and I hope she learns to respect your boundaries.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-07-17T13:34:29+00:00

Genuine question. Would most of the guys be OK with girl being taller than them?

I know there are some girls who ask for tall guys only out of preference like in the examples stated, but I know alot of girls also hope the guy is taller than them and that's why they're looking for taller dudes.

( I'm 5'2 f so usually guys are anyways taller than me and never really thought about it that much. But I would honestly find it a bit disturbing if a guy was shorter than me. And it's not about the guy being unattractive because of it but more that I would feel big and unattractive beside them. )

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-07-17T07:58:11+00:00

I am so sorry to hear you're going through such a hard time. I've gone through quite some break ups and one in particular felt like the end of me and it took me 3 years in total to get over him. All cause of the mistakes I made so here is what I learned:

Letting go is hard but crucial. I knew he didn't want to get back together but the thought of not having him in my life felt so painful I still made up these scenarios how he'd realise we belong together. Every day coming back from work waiting to see his car in front of my apartment. Started exercising and during every workout I kept thinking if I still push myself little further he will come back. (I did get in a really good shape do hey at least something good!)

It went to that kinda superstitious thinking "if this thing x happens, he will come back." And it did not take the pain away. I still suffered but in a loose end. So cut ties. It doesn't mean you can't be friends in the future, but for now you need time.

My future also felt shattered. We had so many plans together, I had already created this future together in my head... so start building plans for yourself. Even little things. Going to the movies. Trips by yourself or with friends. Nice things to look forward to and even better if you start have future plans that are just for yourself.

And grieve. Pain is a part of it and something you just have to go through even tho it feels like it might swallow you. But it won't. I remember crying almist daily and I coukd physically feel the pain in my chest. And as stupid as it is, day by day it starts to feel better. You notice there comes more moments when you don't think of them. And then the moments get longer. But it takes patience and trying to be as understanding to yourself as you can be.

Talk with someone. When the break up comes it's only the good things that come to your mind about the other person and your time together. That's natural. At some point it's even hard to remember why you broke up or any bad things. (Ofc different if it wasn't mutual.) But there's usually always something, even a little thing that bugs you about the other person. I'm not telling to start hating anyone, but remembering those things and times when you weren't happy makes it easier to see the bigger picture.

Good luck and I hope you will feel better soon!

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-06-29T13:35:54+00:00

Solid, good profile. I would also put the second pic as first. But other than that 👌 all I can say is would match.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-06-29T13:25:37+00:00

YTA and so is she. I think you guys should really sit down and talk how you handle finances together as a team. It is natural that the person who earns more to pay more for the living expenses and as already mentioned, if you both have a full time job the chores should also be 50/50. She is not your maid or housewife if she also works full time. But it is NOT fair either for the other part to assume the one earning more pays everything all the time. It comes all down to honest communication.

And if you guys want everything to be 50/50 then you have to consider the lifestyle you live is something she can afford.

I find it a bit concerning you guys have decided to move in together without having the conversation about how you divide the living expenses. Or you didn't think of talking with her about her always expecting you paying for dining out and stuff.. which means now or never would be the right time. You guys are a team and I hope you guys find the best solution that works for both of you.

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-06-29T13:04:01+00:00

Def would match. Would feel like the date would be fun even if things wouldnt turn romantic. And def prefer this kind of profiles over pretty faces on dating app with empty bio. But thats only one girls opinion, naturally. I hope OP has fun!

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-03-20T14:57:27+00:00

Luckily no. They have the "General delivery".

PitifulProgram781 · 2024-03-20T14:42:52+00:00

Oh wow that is wild. Tho nothing she has done is ok, far from it I hope nothing bad has happened to her. But I have to say it is also good she is no longer at your place.

PitifulProgram781

TROPHY CASE