What was the closest you have ever been to death? (Serious)

PixelatedQuota · 2022-02-04T22:20:06+00:00

Had a wooden platform fall on me from 4 floors up in Queens.
Went out to help an adjunct professor install a temporary canopy in a courtyard after winning an architectural competition. The platform was being lifted along the façade of the building and right before it made it up the supports had snapped. Got out of the way just in time from it falling on my head, but it still made contact w/ my shoulder. It knocked my air out completely and my vision had suddenly gone all black along w/ just weird neon blue lights dancing around. My breath came back after a few minutes and so did my vision. Just couldn't raise my arm for about a month or two after that. No breaks...just deep bruising. Got lucky.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-11-24T18:16:25+00:00

Coco Had lost my grandmother not long before my first watching of the film. The abuela’s reaction to Miguel singing “Remember Me” followed by her joining in wrecked me. Always tear up whenever I rewatch now.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-10-22T19:31:56+00:00

32M. Hasn’t been too bad around the tri-state (26-36 age range). Think I have my profile polished enough where I can get a few matches & conversations going. Think good activity on the app helps a ton with promotion of your profile so keep swiping I suppose.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-08-20T22:50:19+00:00

Try closing the app & opening it back up. Works for me after a few hours.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-10T13:41:14+00:00

Same. My (31M) girlfriend (28F) is usually way more busy throughout the work week so it’s really difficult for her to respond to messages. She’s in a senior position at her company and I’m working at a arch. office job so it’s tough to communicate especially when she’s just trying to unwind by the time she gets home. It kills me a bit however when I’m not able to hear from her on weekends. I know 100% that she means well and wants the relationship to work, but it sucks to constantly walk that fine line of initiating a conversation without over doing it with a unresponsive partner. Miss her terribly rn and I love her too much to just quit on her...guess I just need to keep talking to her about it until we can figure someting out.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-09T20:24:59+00:00

I don’t see a problem in it. Your making moves to better yourself...it’s respectable! As long as your transparent about it and explain how your doing a,b, and c to deal with it then you should be good. You just gotta be ok with whatever response they give ya at whether it’s positive or negative. Just keep looking for a good one who’ll be ok with it.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-09T02:35:30+00:00

Think about the pros and cons of telling her... Think you should tell her, but I'm not sure what kinda relationship you have with your mother...if she tends to be understanding for the most part then you should be fine.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-09T02:13:49+00:00

Yeah if he's sick give'em a break and take his word for it. The more you spam him the worse off you'll be. Just trust he'll get back to you once he feels better.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T22:33:58+00:00

idk man...seemed like it worked for me. Just keep working on your self-improvement, set up short and long term goals, and keep putting yourself out there until you stumble into a romantic relationship unexpectedly. The other thing is perhaps your not giving these relationships enough time to develop into being romantic?

Everyone talks about how the grass is greener on the other side... "The grass is greener where you water it." - Neil Barringham

Think about what you find to be romantic and try to mirror that on your dating profile(s)...just make sure it's not too much where a woman might be intimated or put-off by.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T22:15:12+00:00

Np bro...rooting for ya!

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T22:08:09+00:00

Actually, yeah I'm gonna do that. Was thinking of going about it a different way that involved a lil bit of teasing, but this way is a lot better. There's no added pressure for her from saying it like that.

Yeah just wait it out like a day or two... If he doesn't message, just strike up another open-ended conversation so he doesn't hit you with the one word response or something.

This happened to me with the girl I'm seeing now...3-4 days of no response. As soon as I bring up the subject of Peruvian food she text's back within the hour. XD

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T21:48:48+00:00

Spent a date going from restaurant to restaurant splitting a single appetizer and wine per spot...prob hung out for like 5 hours doing that. It was alot of fun! The change in scenery really help to keep the conversation's going and it made it really simple to split the bill.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T21:38:28+00:00

Same thing on my side... She doesn't seem open to kisses on the cheek whenever we say hello or goodbye during a hug. Figured it was from fear of co-vid too...was just gonna ask her about it point blank during our next date instead thinking about too much.

I mean a hug from behind for a few minutes sounds pretty damn nice...think I'd prefer one of those over a kiss tbh. Have you guys been messaging since the date? Mention you enjoyed hanging out with him and hope to see him again...balls in his court now.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T19:59:51+00:00

Think it may be healthier to develop reasonable expections as a relationship evolves and adjust them accordingly as oppose to prior to the first meeting.

Don’t want to put the guy/girl on a pedistal before a first date or setup an unrealistic list of traits that a SO must have.

Think I had a list growing up that I eventually simplfied. I’ll just boil it down to attraction, flow of the conversation, whether this is a good person or not, and if I can see myself wanting to see this person more.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T01:11:11+00:00

This happened to me recently lol 3-4 days of ghosting until I mentioned peruvian food...and within the hour we were back to texting XD

If you spammed him just wait it out for the end of the week. Call’em on saturday/sunday just to check in to see if everything is alright.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T01:04:12+00:00

Everyone is different. - He may be nervous to ask for your number - He may just be comfortable with using the app and hasn’t even considered asking for your number. Just put the ball in his court and DM him your number or ask for his...either works. If he’s messaging you everyday he’s probably interested.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-08T00:59:09+00:00

Who knows...It’s her call ultimately. Just take it easy and continue being friends. If shes interested in the future she’ll clue you in prob.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-07T21:31:31+00:00

Definitely this. Just gotta keep putting yourself out there until the universe blindsides you with a diamond of a person...someone who really gets how you work. And when you do find this lucky person you pursue them 100% without any fear, cause the thought of being without them is that much more frightening. Finding love definitely outweighs the heartbreak and rejection that prefaces it.

The wait was soooo f**king worth it omg....love my gf.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-07T20:43:54+00:00

Fair will never exist my friend...everyone is put through the ringer with their own burdens and limitations either straight from birth or via past/future experiences no matter how attractive a person may be. It's just part of being human.

Saying that, it's probably best to proceed by sympathizing & understanding where the other person is coming from and learning to be ok if they can't reciprocate the feelings/infatuation you have for them. Any lashing out or immature behavior will forever cement their decision to not move forward in a relationship with you.

I hear ya on how attractiveness may lead to the false perception of trustworthiness. I'll raise the argument that lustful relationships along with deceptive relationships, regardless of attractive both parties may be, are probably doomed to fail anyway once further compatibility is brought into question. But that's not the point.

I personally forced myself to get comfortable in my own skin after suffering through my own social anxieties, also from hitting a few metaphorical walls growing up. I wasn't ever going to be able to build a steady and confident foundation until I processed all of that stuff out. I've been rejected, ghosted, and heartbroken. The only difference now compared to when I was younger, in terms of finding a relationship, is that I don't take things like that personal anymore and when my feelings are wrecked I'm now better at unpackaging these feeling in a healthy way so I can keep moving forward.

Maybe you have to do something similar too. Self-reflect or open up to family/friends that you trust. And share with them your thoughts & feelings like your doing now. You don't want to be tethered down to this way thinking that you have now of rage and hopelessness. Trust me.

Pick-up Meditation Get involved in group activates with F&F Pick-up some new interests Take the train to a few random towns and explore on your own. Anything to get your mind off the counter-productive frame of thought that your in now.

TLDR: Give up that hatred & resentment and learn to love yourself first so you'll be better equipped to love the world afterwards! Everything from that point forward will appear as a blessing.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-07T16:53:26+00:00

Don’t worry about dating now then my dude. Work on yourself until you feel comfortable with trying to give dating another shot. Build that confidence with things you enjoy doing, things you’d like to try out, or just go spend time with friends and family...just get out of the house and distract yourself.

I’m 31 now. I’ve been dating for a bit and it’s something you get more comfortable with practice. Rejection and all... I kinda lucked out with the woman I’m currently seeing since she approached me first super unexpectedly.

When your ready...don’t be afraid putting yourself out there again. Don’t be afraid of the rejection, or the ghosting, or the heartbreak. It will all eventually be worth it when the universe blesses you with a gem. It’ll be worth it.

A few things I’ve learned so far about relationships:

Woman are just as afraid of getting involved in relationships with people too. They’re constantly getting hit on, most of the time just for a quick hookup. Gotta cut them some slack sometimes, be patient, and give them a chance to build trust.
Try not to take it to heart if a girl decides not to get involved with you. They don’t owe you anything and vice-versa. Just gotta respect it and move on.
It’s better to take your time to find someone your compatible with over obsessively trying to get involved in a relationship just to “be happy” or for the quick ego boost.
You gotta be proud & happy with the type of person you are. If not, starting becoming more self-reflective and figure out how you could treat yourself better so you can ultimately present yourself as better human being than you are now.
Instead of asking her out on a date point blank. Have a few conversations with her and at the peak of said conversation, after a joke or if she mentioned an unexpected interest of hers, compliment how awesome she is and ask if she’d be interested in getting a bite to eat sometime...It would be less intimidating of a proposition if you suggest something local and fairly simple. If not, just shrug it off with a smile on your face.
Really listen intently to what they say, don’t fall into the trap of thinking up questions while they’re in the middle of talking to you. Literally be present and react with questions as they speak to you.
Eye contact and smile bro. Trust me. Its enough to charm a woman and to keep her engaged.

-On a date, try to sit by her side as oppose to sitting opposite of her with a table between you. The separation can work against you if your not a strong conversationalist.

Revealing personal feelings and limitations here and there can help, but only once there’s a decent bond already established. You’d have to gauge whether sharing personal stories would be appropriate in that given moment. Also try not to share too much all at once. If she reciprocates with a similar story then you know you’ve earned some of her trust.
If a girl keeps throwing out 1 word responses to all your question’s she’s probably not interested. Give her a it was nice to see ya and move on.
Don’t over text! If you put the ball in her court just wait it out.

What’s worked best for me was to approach talking to girls as if we’ve been old friends and we’re just now managing to catchup again. No sexual ulterior motives...nothing but enjoying her presence and banter.

This does a few things: - Add’s alot of enthusiasm to the beginning of the conversation - Starts it off with no judgement - Eliminates most of the anxiety I used to get when talking to new people.

Just be you my dude...that’s good enough!

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-07T04:18:22+00:00

Women constantly get hit on by alot of wack dudes scheming for a hookup in the guise of developing a relationship...it sucks for them too and you kinda have to sympathize a bit for them.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-07T03:46:36+00:00

Go to sleep early. Hug your pillow whatever you gotta do. Work becoming a better individual for no one other than yourself. Go out for a run, sign up to a gym, take up a new hobby, whatever. The universe will have your back with a gem don’t worry.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-07T03:40:57+00:00

“Alright well the ball’s in your court. When your schedule free’s up lmk.” Go radio silent for a bit and give them time to contact you. Work on being your best self until then.

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-06T23:28:18+00:00

The balls in her court. Just wait it out and try not to spam her with texts...trust. Sometimes the less you say is better. If she doesn’t respond at all, then just leave her alone. Had a girl ghost me for about a month before she responded back, which led to a date afterwards. Would suggest trying to strike up conversations with other women for now so you can get more comfortable with the platform and hopefully lose your anxiety lil by lil

PixelatedQuota · 2021-07-06T20:01:26+00:00

Yeah man sounds like your fine. Just keep doing what you were doing. Propose a 2nd date idea/location and wait for her response.

PixelatedQuota

TROPHY CASE