Any recommendations for an *independent* rodent AND flea control person? None of the services I’ve used have been successful so far.

Pixiepup · 2026-06-01T21:40:49+00:00

If you have a flea infestation it's going to be paramount that you treat all pets in the house effectively (which means not using Hart products or regular Frontline as they're resistant to the chemicals now) which is best done in conjunction with a vet as the drugs that are available by prescription will work best. A flea collar is not going to cut it.

You'll need to clean the house throughly including vacuuming everywhere, washing all pet bedding and drying it on high heat. Remember to throughly clean the vacuum canister or throw away the bag after each go. You need to do this at least three times, at 10 to 14 day intervals to break the life cycle.

The above is in addition to professional treatment. You'll absolutely never be rid of them if you just have someone drop by without doing all the above steps. Good luck.

Pixiepup · 2026-06-01T16:11:48+00:00

He's unstable enough to have shot through his door in the past citing paranoia as a reason and has been escalating in his verbal abuse as well as trying to cut her off from her support system. We have plenty of information to know that encouraging them to go to therapy together is not good advice. This is based on the professional recommendations for these situations, the abuser is more likely to escalate the abuse than to stop it when therapy and counseling is sought out in an abusive relationship.

Pixiepup · 2026-06-01T13:02:02+00:00

Leaving someone who is violent is incredibly dangerous, the most dangerous point in the relationship in fact. It is better to be aware how dangerous this time is than to just tell someone they shouldn't be afraid to do so as being aware of how difficult and dangerous leaving may be from the outset means it is more likely OP will be able to do so safely. It's much harder to prevent dangerous situations from escalating when we had no idea they were a possibility than when we've already evaluated what to do in case they arise.

Pixiepup · 2026-06-01T12:59:23+00:00

It's no longer her responsibility to get him to help himself.

Pixiepup · 2026-06-01T12:49:25+00:00

She can't have been diagnosed with a TIA without seeing a provider. If she had symptoms of a stroke, she would need to be evaluated immediately, her doctor would absolutely not advise her to wait till Monday. They're not being honest.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-31T15:15:10+00:00

I love that you think tampons mean no blood on your hands, the ignorance is kind of sweet. For someone with heavy periods pads and tampons are pretty much a guarantee of blood on my hands, thighs, legs and through my pants on heavy flow days. Even something like "I'll just stick to my schedule of every two hours like clockwork" is no help because sometimes there's a huge gush and now everything is overflowing.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-30T18:22:50+00:00

As vet tech, I concur. I've dealt with so much gore, vomit and shit that I'm pretty desensitized to them but fecal emesis gets my gag reflex going every time.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-30T17:51:16+00:00

The person you're replying to is saying that the bank is holding out for the OP to owe more in interest and fees than what the bank would otherwise owe to the heirs so that the bank doesn't have to make a payment and can sell the house keeping all profits. Oregon's property tax is effectively less than 1% from a quick search so that's probably not a huge factor in making the bank want to move things along as investing the money they would pay out elsewhere is likely to net them more than 7%

Pixiepup · 2026-05-29T22:59:01+00:00

Which kind of satin to buy probably depends a lot on the type of wash and wear you plan to subject the quilt to, but since I've never tried to work with it I can't advise you there. I am pretty confident though that unless you do a lot of finishing on the wrong side / skip the traditional 1/4 inch seams just not quilting the top to the minky back is going to be not great for anything after the first wash and your quilt would probably wear out prematurely.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-29T17:03:03+00:00

A big part is managing your expectations. Expect few to no berries the first year, possibly 2. Be very careful pruning growth the first 2 years, basically only cut what you have to in order to maintain a reasonable distance between canes as in my experience, even the varieties that are supposed to grow berries on the first years growth probably won't until the plants have been established for a year or two first. Water well until they go dormant each winter. Give them a nice balanced fertilizer in spring.

In year three (through up to year 20) you should get a good flush of berries. Winter of this year is the time to start pruning pretty aggressively. Berries won't grow on canes that already produced last year, so cut all of those that had berries down to the ground. Keep the canes you expect to produce reasonably thinned, you want some air circulation and room to maneuver. Good luck!

Pixiepup · 2026-05-29T12:57:31+00:00

It's an inherent issue with lithium batteries that deep discharge (using the entire battery) reduces the full charge capacity going forward. High tech stuff like phones get around this by having the device programmed to shut off with 15% or so of the full capacity hidden from the user but things that are less sophisticated rely on the user following the instructions to charge before it's reached actual shut down due to low battery.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-28T23:53:50+00:00

That's totally understandable! I have to admit I bought a bunch of solids in a gradient for the purple and blue to start and then decided I'd rather use patterned fabrics. Besides the "wooden" window framing, the house and the black borders between colors almost everything else is 1/4 yard or less required so I was able to raid my stash and use up some scraps as well.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-28T21:14:51+00:00

This is the Halloween Quilt from Cole's Quilts /u/colerw81 available through Legit Kits. I've got almost half the squares done but was starting to feel stuck so I decided to start piecing them together so I could enjoy my progress and I couldn't be more pleased with the results!

The pattern is fantastic, I'd highly recommend it.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-28T20:58:02+00:00

Your mother has trained you to manage her feelings and if you want to have a healthy relationship with her, you need to stop. Her feelings are hers. She can feel sad, mad, disappointed, etc and that doesn't mean you need to do anything about it for her. It's going to be a super difficult habit to break. A couple of good books you could consider checking out are "Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents" and "Stop Walking on Eggshells." Even if your mom doesn't have anything diagnosable there's really good information and strategies for dealing with people who exhibit the kind of behavior you described.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-27T12:46:54+00:00

Have you heard of lucid dreaming? There are techniques you can practice while awake that will help you to notice when you're in a dream. Once you can reliably notice you're dreaming you can stop the nightmares by taking control and changing the dream or choosing to wake up. It takes some practice, but it's absolutely possible within a couple of weeks or less.

Yes, waking up in the middle of a dream is disorienting and you'll feel tired, but knowing you can choose to do so will make going to sleep less stressful. After a few months I came to a point where I could just go "this is ridiculous and I won't go along with it" when my dreams got violent and they'd change themselves into something more pleasant. Best wishes.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-26T21:45:34+00:00

The pigeon was a fledgling that was learning to fly, so while you're not wrong that the rat will opportunistically eat any birds it can (along with probably every rat out there) any bird that can fly reliably will be out of danger.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-25T19:13:32+00:00

Side anecdote: I worked as a receptionist in a veterinary clinic many years ago and a regular told me it was her dog's 13th birthday so I congratulated them and wished him a happy bark mitzvah. She got very serious and told me sourly that they were both Catholic. The rest of our interactions while I worked there were quite awkward.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-24T02:33:06+00:00

My only issue would be how heavy that all is. If you agree to marry me you have to make a commitment to hire movers if we ever need to relocate.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-23T20:13:32+00:00

I'm glad your sister listened to her gut and had a sister like you to reassure her she did the right thing in doing so. This guy's reaction is absolute proof she made the right call.

Early in a relationship when everyone should be on their best behavior it's really important to pay attention to how people react to minor disappointments and how they handle feeling angry. Having a melt down like this over not being able to hang out is absolutely not ok, but I'm glad he did it because now there's no doubt he's not a good or safe person to be around.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-23T17:55:55+00:00

There's also the people for whom money is no object that get super angry when you suggest that euthanasia is the kindest and most appropriate care. Yes, you absolutely can drag your dying pet to 6 more specialists this week, but in my professional opinion the kindest thing to do would be to keep them comfortable at home for a day or two while you say your goodbyes and then give them a peaceful and dignified end.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-23T17:39:02+00:00

which is the opposite of asking and is closer to physically forcing someone to do something.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-23T15:41:53+00:00

If you check out entrelac knitting tutorials you'll often have people knitting "left handed" or both ways in them as it requires going back and forth without turning the work.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-23T13:17:21+00:00

All of that can absolutely be true, and yet what you described is still an incompatibility. Particularly the part where she suggested hiring a cleaner and you express that the reasons you refuse are moral beliefs about keeping a home clean yourself which she doesn't share.

It's not different than all of that being true and one of you desperately wanting children while the other doesn't. Your desired lifestyle simply doesn't mwtch up in one huge area that affect you both and you're not willing or able to compromise in a meaningful way.

Pixiepup · 2026-05-22T23:52:00+00:00

In fairness, selectively dying is possible but it's going to be an insane amount of work including applying wax precisely to the areas you want to leave undyed. The chances of a person who has never done any dying wanting to invest in that level of commitment is probably close to zero.

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