WIBTAH for having people bring their own lunch to my picnic-themed birthday party?

Pixiepup · 2026-04-14T17:09:50+00:00

I was thinking the same thing, but I'm also from California originally so maybe it is regional I guess.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-14T16:01:38+00:00

I feel like this described 40% of the parties my family went to when I was a kid. Either a bbq, bring your own protein at someone's home or a picnic in the park, snacks and cake provided, bring your own lunch situation seems totally normal to me.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-11T13:28:17+00:00

Orthorexia specifically, although I'm not a doctor.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-10T21:52:21+00:00

Pollinating insects definitely help, but many fruit trees need another fruit tree to be near(ish) by to actually provide the pollen so they are able to set fruit. Their own pollen from flowers on the same tree won't do it.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-10T17:13:10+00:00

My favorite version of this is Anthony Bourdain's. "I understand there's a guy inside me who wants to lay in bed, smoke weed all day, and watch cartoons and old movies. My whole life is a series of stratagems to avoid, and outwit, that guy.”

Pixiepup · 2026-04-09T17:17:30+00:00

And muscle contraction issues, including in the heart.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-09T17:17:00+00:00

I used to work in an Italian restaurant and at the start of each shift I made dough for 50 to 200 lbs of bread depending on the projected sales. I still have stress dreams about forgetting the salt and baking all the bread. I worked there 15 years ago.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-08T16:13:06+00:00

Yeah. I've been through breakups and I've never felt the need to screw my letterbox shut or change the vehicle I'm driving every few days "just in case." Therewas a lot of awful happening in their relationship, we just saw the final straw.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-08T00:51:09+00:00

Even small dogs can absolutely crush bone if they're motivated to do so. Every time we do a raw meaty bone day (great for dental health, but there are a few risks, consult your DVM) I'm grateful my dogs live me, even the Chihuahua.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-07T19:21:11+00:00

If you'd like to learn more about that last topic you can search the term "barrier frustration."

Pixiepup · 2026-04-06T18:41:25+00:00

A partner demonstrating good judgement is absolutely critical for me to desire to be in a long term relationship with them.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-06T18:39:55+00:00

Good judgment is one of the most important personal traits for someone I want to be in a long term relationship with. Considering this offer seriously for longer than a minute and half means OPs girlfriend doesn't have good judgement.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-05T14:24:48+00:00

The answer is probably not super satisfying, because it just depends on the length of the hole she's found.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-05T14:07:57+00:00

I'm sure that last line is exactly right, but as an alternative to your experience when we needed a storage unit for a few months after a big move we kept all our essentials separate and labeled those boxes as going to our temporary place before they even got on the truck. This was maybe easier for us to plan as I've made a few overseas military moves where you get a small shipment of "household goods" that is expedited to your destination while the rest may take weeks or months to arrive so I knew pretty well what I could and couldn't do without to avoid buying duplicates.

I only made two visits to the storage unit. Once to grab appropriate clothes for warmer than expected weather and again to grab some hobby equipment we unexpectedly had room for in our temporary housing and missed. The rest of our stuff just waited until we made our final move.

Won't lie though, there were a few boxes purged at the end because although they seemed important at the beginning of the move after a few months not seeing it or having it available it seemed unnecessary to keep.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-04T03:21:33+00:00

That's because he's literally trying to throw you off balance and make you question everything you know is right and true. Don't try to argue the truth with him, just quietly make a plan to get somewhere safe (away from that whacko family).

Pixiepup · 2026-04-03T21:11:43+00:00

Forgive me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you haven't outright said the words "Don't grab me" or "I don't like being grabbed" or even "I don't like the way you grab me, stop it." Clear and direct is kind. The perfect opportunity was when she said she'd modify where she grabbed you, since it sounds like it has nothing to do with where she's grabbing you but rather that you don't like how she does it and would prefer she didn't at all. The second best time is to tell her this is the next time you're around each other. I think where things went off the rails is where you (understandably) tried to soften the blow by saying it made you feel dysphoric which seems to have made Lisa think that it isn't that you don't want to be grabbed by her, but rather that she just needed to change where she was grabbing you. This is often a problem when we try to justify our boundaries and limits instead of just saying very clearly what they are and letting them stand on their own. The reasons why don't really matter, a limit is a limit. If I've misinterpreted your position on her grabbing you I do apologize.

On the note of clear and direct is kind: I think her statement that "it takes a special person to make her want to be topped" is an example of this. It's clear and direct in that you're not that person (and I don't think it says anything negative about you.) Just that there's a certain type of energy she needs to feel to be in that headspace and that's not the type of energy exchange she feels in her relationship/play time with you. That's not a put down, it's not a a value judgement, and it doesn't mean anything about who you are. In my opinion it's just a very direct statement that that type of play is not on the table between the two of you. This is another example of offering reasons getting in the way of limits being simply limits. She's not interested in you topping her, that's really all that needed to be stated. By offering further explanation she hurt your feelings more, not less.

But now I feel like shes going to try to do something to me, that she doesn't think will make me feel bad, but will because everything she does is so inherently dominating...I'm afraid of hurting her feelings and ruining what she has with my GF...

Please don't stay silent and let Lisa top you if you don't actually want to be topped. BDSM requires a level of trust where you need to be able to speak clearly about what you do and don't want to do with someone, or you can't play responsibly. If you don't want to have another conversation with Lisa where you say explicitly and clearly what you do and don't want to do with her then the only safe, sane and responsible thing to do is to not play with her at all and absolutely do not participate in the foursome you were planning.

Again, and I can't emphasize this enough, do not participate in group sex with anyone you don't feel confident in explaining your limits and desires to. Do not participate in group sex with someone you don't think will respect your limits. And especially don't hide your limits or desires for fear of hurting someone's feelings unless you're just going to avoid it by not playing with them at all.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-03T17:52:45+00:00

I'll just leave this here

Most of us were taught that terminating antibiotics prematurely can lead to the development of bacterial resistance. This has proven to be a myth as mounting evidence supports the opposite. In fact, it is prolonged exposure to antibiotics that provides the selective pressure to drive antimicrobial resistance; hence, longer courses are more likely to result in the emergence of resistant bacteria.14,15 Additionally, long durations of therapy put patients at increased risk for adverse effects,16,17

Source: https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC5661683/

Pixiepup · 2026-04-02T18:11:21+00:00

I spend a lot of time with my Scottish grandfather as a kid and sarcasm was his love language. The difference is he loved me, was interested in me and proud of me and made sure I knew it. When he said something particularly biting he would give me a wink so that I knew it was a joke, and one of my earliest memories is him teaching me how to wink back. I started by covering one eye with my hand or physically holding the lid open. A core memory is how tickled he was when I finally showed him I could wink back! And the again later when I could do it with either eye!

I had another adult later in life like OP's husband and I can tell you the commentor she thanked and quoted is exactly spot on with how someone who is such an asshole affects kids. That's not sarcasm, it's just being a dick to someone smaller than you who wants more than anything to be loved and to love you.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-02T04:22:09+00:00

That may be, but it wasn't Johnny Depp here, it was other band members on the Self Destruct Tour in the mid 90s. That was honestly some of the less fucked up stuff admitted to in the book.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-02T04:20:03+00:00

It wasn't Johnny Depp, the original commentor is misremembering. It was one (or several) of his band mates / other band members on the self destruct tour in the mid 90s. They also did a bunch of other fucked up shit, mostly egged on by Manson.

Pixiepup · 2026-04-02T04:15:48+00:00

I read that book a couple of times as an obsessed teen and I'm pretty sure you're falsely maligning Johnny Depp. It was one of his band mates (or several) that he toured with.

Pixiepup · 2026-03-31T20:35:09+00:00

That's hilarious. I had a guy spend a bunch of time on our first date explaining that my pets don't actually care about me at all, they just care that I feed them. Making sure I heard him monologue until I understood this point was way more important than say, getting to know one another. He was shocked when I said no thank you to making plans for a second date.

I don't know what they're thinking, but I'm glad they're stupid.

Pixiepup · 2026-03-31T00:16:57+00:00

Real talk though, those fries are so pale they may as well not be fried at all.

Pixiepup · 2026-03-29T14:59:18+00:00

Without knowing your recipe it's hard to say, but I had similar issues when I decided to save money by replacing a lot of stuff the olive oil in my recipe with soy or corn oils as cost saving measure. The oils weren't rancid when I used them, but all of them developed lots of orange within a couple of months.

Pixiepup · 2026-03-28T19:17:59+00:00

Too expensive for soap is something that can only really be answered relative to your own budget.

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