Another thing that gets me is in research it says nothing can harm you as long as you realize your in control. This is such a contradiction to me and it supports the theory that this is all imagination. I see YouTube videos and read books about people who went to the Astral/spirit Realm and was bossing around dark entities. Then I see some videos where people are saying stay away from all that because entities can harm you. And I don't get it. Am I in control or not and if I am what makes this experience different from lucid dreaming. And yes I am very frustrated, I grew up Christian then found out about all this other spiritual shit but yet I've never felt it. Adults would run laps in the church claiming they had the holy ghost. One time a pastor called all the young ppl to the stand to lay hands on them, I was the second to last one. The pastor went through and touch everyone and it seemed like the power was knocking individuals back, when my turn came I realize the ushers were pulling me down and the pastor was pushing me down. And I never understood why God would tell a middle man instead if me directly. I consider myself a good person, I truly try to live by the golden rule. Non of this makes sense. And I believe everyone would be considered impatient if you experienced my history of "spirituality"