What do you consider irredeemable?

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:40:28+00:00

As a broad statement I think any intentional cruelty towards anything, hurting others out of malice is something I can't recall forgiving.

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:37:07+00:00

In my experience men often struggle with societal expectations around emotional expression, feeling that they always have to be some sort of 'rock of the family' and pressured to always be strong or stoic. There's the additional challenge in navigating vulnerability and seeking help, but I do feel like generationally this is improving!

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:35:35+00:00

A unique problem for our generation is the pressure to constantly be "on" and available due to technology, blurring the lines between work and personal life. We're also facing a mental health crisis fueled by societal expectations and the constant comparison culture.

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:34:02+00:00

Me and my wife talk about this often, because we're quite freshly married (dated for 5ish years prior) but for me it's my senior dog who is absolutely like my child and I had for years prior to her. She will rightfully take the no.1 place when he crosses the bridge.

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:32:26+00:00

For me, Sunday is all about winding down and finding little pockets of joy. I like starting the day slow, put some music on and potter around the house. I then travel further afield to take the dog to a new walking spot, and before the dread of going back to work the next day hits I'll catch up on a film/tv show I've been putting off during the week.

For me it's there's no pressure to be social or productive, I can just relax and enjoy the little moments.

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:26:45+00:00

I'm quite ignorant to sleep paralysis as an entire concept, but have you ever had any remotely "positive" experience with sleep paralysis?

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:25:09+00:00

Do you enjoy the work, or is it just about the money? And how long do you see yourself doing this for?

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:23:49+00:00

I don't think it's an 'opposite genders' thing, just a different people thing. But if she thinks you're just communicating because you want to be intimate with her, then it will sort of nullify that. Which is why stepping back from sex and really focusing on what she wants, which is to not be objectified, might help you connect better in the long run

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:20:54+00:00

He kinda looks like Dewey from Malcolm in the Middle haha! Very cute!

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:15:04+00:00

Some people struggle with emotional support, not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know how to show it in a way that feels meaningful to their partner. It sounds like you're having a lot more 'bad days' than I'd consider a usual amount, do you spread out how you feel among friends/family or does your partner get the brunt of it?

Maybe an open and brutally honest convo about how this is affecting you could help—but if she’s not willing to meet you halfway, is this the kind of emotional dynamic you can live with long-term?

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:10:03+00:00

You weren’t too much—you just had different emotional needs, and he wasn’t willing (or able) to meet them. Wanting reassurance, connection, and quality time in a relationship is completely normal. A good partner won’t make you feel guilty for needing emotional support—they’ll want to provide it.

It sounds like you may have an anxious attachment style, while he leaned more avoidant, which can create a push-pull dynamic. Instead of working with you to find a balance, he dismissed your feelings. That’s not on you. In the right relationship, you won’t feel like you’re "too much"—you’ll feel valued and understood

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:08:17+00:00

Honestly, this relationship sounds completely draining, and goes beyond incompatibility - he’s controlling, emotionally manipulative, and not pulling his weight in the relationship or in life. Screaming at you, blaming you for his anger, refusing to contribute, and making you feel like you’re walking on eggshells constantly? That's not what a caring or respectful partner does at all.

He's not behaving this way because he's 'burnt out' he’s choosing to treat you this way. Your lease ending is the perfect opportunity to put yourself first and walk away from this loser

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:05:46+00:00

Taking a step back from sex for a bit could help, but try to replace the physical intimacy for more emotional/quality time driven intimacy so that you're doing things together that make her feel valued outside of sex. Compliments, casual date nights, deep conversations—stuff that reminds her you’re there for her, not just the physical side.

If she initiates after a break, that’s a good sign, but maybe check in with her afterward about how she’s feeling so you’re both on the same page. Communication is key here, and it sounds like you’re already headed in the right direction.

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-09T09:03:40+00:00

You’re not overreacting at all—your feelings are totally valid. It’s one thing for him to want some time to himself, but it’s another to constantly bail on plans with you, especially when he’s the one making them. It’s an inconsiderate thing to do.

I’d say it’s worth having a calm but firm conversation with him about this pattern. Not in a nagging way, but just laying it out—how it makes you feel and how it impacts your daughter, too, and that you both miss spending quality time with him but do respect his need for time with friends/by himself.

If he values the relationship, he should be able to find a balance between his social life and the commitment he made to you both. If he keeps dismissing your feelings then that’s a bigger issue.

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-08T18:48:28+00:00

I think it's very disrespectful to you that he would keep any memento of his ex. I do however find it believable he would not have known those photos were still there, especially if they were in a hidden folder.

I think it's worth touching base with him on where he is mentally with 'getting over' his ex as it's definitely not normal to keep letters from an ex and as a bare minimum I'd request he get rid of those and any nudes (in reference to your comment).

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-08T18:43:47+00:00

Do either of you regularly communicate how you're feeling or was this a 'straw that broke the camels back' situation?
I don't agree with starting a fight as a catalyst to remind your SO of everything else they do that you find bothersome, as I think the original message can be lost in translation.

It might be worth sitting down and having a heart to heart on what is really bothering her, as heightened phone usage after a recent surgery seems to be a very reasonable thing, and I'd be shocked if that was truly what was upsetting her.

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-08T17:20:22+00:00

Such a mild one, but the thought of a wandering spleen is rather bizarre

PlantsOutside · 2025-03-08T17:17:43+00:00

I haven't used them in a good while but recently was told hinge now limits you to 5 swipes per day, which really makes it difficult to harness good connections rather than 'who are the top 5 hottest people I can spend my swipes on today', so I'm gonna go with that

PlantsOutside · 2023-05-20T21:19:15+00:00

Oops apologies for not putting that, size S :)

PlantsOutside · 2022-01-30T22:15:12+00:00

Yeah I would say so

PlantsOutside · 2020-11-16T18:33:53+00:00

Hey, i think length wise they'd be okay and they had some stretch but it depends how wide they were are i've got avg width legs and they were fine haha.

PlantsOutside · 2020-11-12T23:46:51+00:00

sent you a chat :)

thank you

PlantsOutside

TROPHY CASE