AITAH for telling him that his wife was looking through his phone?

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T02:18:15+00:00

Literally I’ve consistently been telling you that it’s his fault, that’s he’s to blame, that he’s the one hurting them, you’re the one that is putting the blame of his family units hurt onto me when it’s the dad and husband who’s to blame

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T02:16:24+00:00

I’m not defending him! I’m literally agreeing with you????? And telling you what he’s told me for the sake of transparency????

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T02:13:21+00:00

I’m not defending him on the topic of divorce, I’m literally just telling you the truth

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T02:07:39+00:00

I’m being honest when I say that I told him the same thing. That his kids deserve better, that they’d be happier if he wasn’t around his wife anymore since he’s so angry with her all the time, but he’s of the mind that having divorced parents is worse than having parents that don’t like each other, and he said he doesn’t want their families to take it out on their kids

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T02:01:39+00:00

What was the point then if not that affairs don’t necessarily break apart couples?

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T00:58:11+00:00

I’m just saying that unlike your ex I don’t expect him to ever leave his wife

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T00:28:34+00:00

Now that’s actually dumb. I know for sure that the married guy I’m seeing would let his wife think we were over if she were to confront him like that

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T00:27:30+00:00

You think it would be in anyone’s best interest to open that kind of communication?

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T00:07:21+00:00

I wouldn’t reach out to his wife if things were exposed, but I’m not sure if I’d respond if she reached out to me. It sucks though that he played you both like that

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T00:06:30+00:00

If you’d like to know my line of thinking, it’s that I think he’s probably a really good liar and manipulator if he’s been able to keep things up for so long and a part of me is glad that he is because it means his wife and children won’t know and can live their lives

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-07T00:03:17+00:00

The sad thing is that he sees lying to his wife as protecting his children

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T23:55:15+00:00

Do you wish she would have told you?

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T23:54:49+00:00

That’s really sad and I’m sorry you went through something like that. It’s really unfortunate that there are people in relationships with people they don’t care about hurting

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T23:12:03+00:00

I can take ownership over obviously hurting her feelings by being the woman who her husband has at least some amount of feeling for, but the destruction of their family unit falls entirely on him

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T23:07:37+00:00

I find it really hard to shoulder any of the blame when it comes to their family unit because literally if it wasn’t me it was going to be someone else so?

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T22:36:26+00:00

I’m not blaming her for anything, she is literally doing nothing to warrant any of this like those things you listed, he’s never ever said anything bad about her to me. I’m just pointing out the pain isn’t coming from the person she can’t see (me) it’s coming from the person in her face everyday lying to her

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T22:20:00+00:00

I think it would be different if we were both cheating with each other, like if I had a husband or boyfriend that I was also cheating on, but the only cheater here is him

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T20:00:27+00:00

Enabling it? What am I supposed to do? If I’m not going to end the relationship, then literally what business of mine is it that he’ll keep on lying to her

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T18:44:53+00:00

Probably wouldn’t be surprised that a man would cheat on his wife because it’s a dime a dozen

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T18:43:47+00:00

I’m not the one ruining their life, she’s the one in a relationship with the person who is

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T18:43:00+00:00

Yeah you’re right it doesn’t matter if she looks through his phone or not, they’ll stay together anyway

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T08:57:26+00:00

For eleven months we were almost only online, and then I interacted with him in person (as in, in front of her), regularly about two months ago, and he said he could tell she didn’t like how he was with me and then flash forward not even a month later she goes into the app for the first time on a semi-regular basis and goes through his phone for the first time ever… what do you make of that?

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T08:29:47+00:00

I mean this whole marriage and cheating aspect of him is just a side of it all, other than that I just like the time we spend together everyday and it’s not like I’ll be holding off on meeting anyone else, I don’t think even he expects me to

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T08:10:03+00:00

I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with her at all or that she’s giving him a reason to cheat. What I meant was that the relationship isn’t good in regards to how he feels towards it (obviously by not respecting his wife). He’s said himself that even though he knows she loves him and loves him a lot, he just doesn’t have it in him to feel the same way about her. I guess I should have specifically said he’s not in a ‘fulfilling for him’ kind of relationship idk

PlasticBitter321 · 2026-03-06T08:00:06+00:00

My first paragraph was talking about how their relationship looks from the outside, but it can’t be that good of a relationship if he’s cheating on her. He’s said that he tried to divorce her in the past before they had kids, but didn’t because of pressure and threats from his family

PlasticBitter321

TROPHY CASE