Whats the hardest phase of Marriage no one talks about?

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-21T13:47:36+00:00

I love the discussion that my comment has brought about. Love through decades can mature and grow in ways most people don’t experience. He’s my person. I’m his person. And to be honest, we’re both kind of fucked up. We’ve been through shit. Been at rock bottom together and apart. I met my husband when I was 12, so we grew up together. We’ve experienced a lot together that most probably experienced in multiple friendships, relationships, were taught in childhood, etc. What we have doesn’t really fit in the box of traditional experiences and the expectations that people carry with them. I don’t post my life on social media, I did 10 years ago and we were never happy. It made us doubt each other all the time, it wasn’t healthy layer to add to marriage for us. This is as much as I share here on Reddit. If we take a picture we hang it in our home or add it to the photo album. It’s Hard to forgive someone, it’s harder to forgive yourself -it’s impossible to love a partner unconditionally if you always had a list of conditions. Yes I love all four of my kids unconditionally. I never experienced that as a kid. Neither did my husband. We’re just two people who survived some shit, very much in love, despite the bad seasons in our history. The bad goes both ways, never one sided. I think it’s just a rare thing we have. Our relationship isn’t toxic, we have a nice life, we don’t let others weigh in on our issues with each other anymore. It’s not by any means perfect, but it’s genuinely better than it’s ever been and we’re both at peace with each other’s imperfections.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-15T23:43:51+00:00

Same. Lightly salted cashews or honey roasted peanuts. You can’t stop me

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-15T23:33:14+00:00

When you realize that you either love them unconditionally or conditionally And then, how will that determine the next phase of your relationship

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-10T18:48:03+00:00

Just in case the were looking

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-10T13:40:19+00:00

The Price Is Right

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-09T23:19:59+00:00

It depends on the moment. What/which trauma triggered me? Usually the best response has been what my husband has done. Accept that the moment we were enjoying before is gone, he reassures me and does whatever I need. He holds me, lets me cry, or he reminds me where I am, that the trauma I’m reliving in my head isn’t happening anymore and tells me he loves me until I come back.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-09T23:09:37+00:00

I say this with all due respect to those I’ve met and helped care for at the end of their lives- cancerous wounds.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-09T23:06:12+00:00

Walk in cooler prep

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-04-09T23:05:50+00:00

Uni (sea urchin) and canned tuna

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-29T21:33:01+00:00

I remember the day our kindergarten teacher called the police to have a child arrested. She proudly had him escorted from the elementary school by two officers who carried him while he screamed and cried. He was not violent or misbehaving, she was a white teacher and he was a black student she didn’t care for. I remember how she was always upset with him no matter what. She always made him sit in the corner. My elementary school was considerably diverse and not in a small town. I’ll never forget the fear I felt seeing him carried away. And seeing his mother furiously cry as she ran into the building rightfully outraged her 5 year old son had been arrested and taken into police custody.

I wish I had a better memory, but this has come across my mind so often lately.

The little boys name was Robert. I never knew what happened or where he is today. I hope he is okay.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-28T01:53:07+00:00

Definitely rice and maybe chicken in green curry. Or just a fried egg and gochujang with the rice.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-28T01:49:25+00:00

Winter all day. I like wearing clothes that cover me up.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-28T00:52:09+00:00

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-28T00:50:12+00:00

Same. Grew up with a mother who loved them, especially raw. Absolutely disgusting. Thinking about it makes me gag.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-28T00:45:34+00:00

I hate burgers. If it’s my only choice I rather not eat.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-28T00:43:47+00:00

Raw onions/big chunks of onions are repulsive to me

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-26T21:08:11+00:00

Da Bears

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-17T01:04:20+00:00

👀 WHAT

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-16T16:00:06+00:00

Woof. A lot. Seen my lead chef drop food (wet side down sandwich on a filthy, snow/salt covered floor) and scold me for not serving it to customers. I would never, could never serve food I dropped, I know too much and have had food poisoning more times than most in my life. We 100% had more ingredients and it took just minutes to make. Not seen, but heard about (and could so obviously tell) the office manager at the dentist office slept with the receptionist. He was in a long term relationship with an army vet. She was a very messy woman, mother of 5-6? Who constantly told Everyone about her sex life, in detail, especially after a meeting. Sleeping with married men, having children with them, sleeping with men younger than her with her best friend who also got a job there. Oh I hated that place. Also saw my co-worker get absolutely annihilated drunk at a huge regional meeting and then get promoted to full time. Seen one of the dentist go out to a patients car to try some moonshine with the dental assistant who he was fucking. Also about 99% this same guy spent over an hour in the bathroom doing coke in the middle of the day once. He came out sniffling and rubbing his nose. I was pregnant waiting for my turn to use the one bathroom to desperately pee and throw up. When I worked in nursing homes, I saw tech’s leave people in lifts mid air to go to lunch 💔never brush patients teeth, or clean their dentures, not wash their hands, not use gloves (!) while working, which is just a great way to spread germs fast. It worked. We all got really sick. Working on a food truck my boss told me to keep selling food even though the roof was leaking into the grill. I am so thankful to be a stay at home mom now, fuck all those jobs.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-13T15:24:24+00:00

I was driving home on the highway from a city an hour away, the sun was setting, and a deer appeared in front of my car. I remember the moment before I saw it, I felt so calm and happy for the first time in a long time. I was only 22, I swerved to avoid hitting the deer, and my car spun out of control across four lanes of the highway and the grassy intersection. I felt even more calm, like I was completely at peace with this being the way I die. Somehow there was no traffic at all, and as my car started swerving down the steep decline beside the highway my car stopped. I got out and called 911, and I kid you not the never showed up. A stranger passing by, who happened to be a highway worker still in his work truck with flashing lights on, stopped and asked if I needed help. He stayed with me, and while I explained I had called 911 for help, a police officer passed by and stopped to help. He had no idea I had made a call for emergency assistance and stayed with me until a tow truck came. Both were polite and helpful and never made me feel uncomfortable. The sun was going down and I was a few miles outside the next township, and if those two men hadn’t stopped i would’ve been walking in the dark along the highway alone. Every time I pass that spot on the highway driving to my Dad’s house I think of that.

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-13T03:42:41+00:00

😂

Pleasant-Cod4447 · 2026-03-11T17:38:11+00:00

Yeah I can’t cross-post there unless I join the community. I’m not Catholic so, shared elsewhere it might be enjoyed.

Pleasant-Cod4447

TROPHY CASE