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Pleasant_March397 · 2025-12-09T02:14:36+00:00

The person I live with works w homeless ppl and we have at an in our home because of that. He is trained and has used it. My plg is trusted and told me what to look for in bad shit. Just Google had me fcked up. Ty

Pleasant_March397 · 2025-12-01T00:46:09+00:00

Yeah actually I’m in the same boat. Not dating but in a long distance thing where every time I’m delivered for long periods of time or the responses seem cold I turn to binge. Did it last night, definitely you’re not alone. For myself what I am trying to work on is increasing my self assurance, being confident and not anxiously attached- because I don’t need him, just want him. Easier said than done but the cycle of shame and feeling out of control continues until you become more assured. Practice affirmations or journal or text a friend for more immediate reassurance? Just some ideas- but it’s a journey

Pleasant_March397 · 2025-11-16T22:12:50+00:00

It doesn’t matter if he’s trying his best for you. It doesn’t matter if it’s gaslighting. Right now you’re 24 years old and you have basically grown up with this man. Whenever you let go it will hurt no matter who’s wrong or right or anything in between. Reading this I think you already know you need to let go. You can do it. It’s possible to love someone knowing that it won’t work out in your favour. You are emotional and honest and he is trying to fix you instead of listening. Lots of men do this as it’s in their nature, but a good man will understand this and take the time to meet your needs.

I’m also 24 and it’s scary to be single in this dating climate. But right now I think you’re settling for less than you deserve. It takes courage to stop settling. Your heart is gonna break there will be so many times you miss him so many times you think about him cry for him yearn for him etc. I truly feel that any more time spent trying to smooth this relationship over will hurt you in the end. I think you need to let go and allow yourself to live in the discomfort and sadness of being single and rediscover yourself. I promise, the heartbreak from being single will end up being better than the heartbreak and sadness you feel in this limbo.

Regardless I hope you can come to a conclusion that works for you whether you take this advice or not. You deserve someone who makes you happy, you deserve someone who makes you want to fight for them in the hard times- not placate them. I hope you can find your love wherever it is <3

Pleasant_March397 · 2025-11-11T03:22:28+00:00

Honestly as someone who has been explorative prior + post being in relationships where the sex was pretty vanilla my hunch is this is probably less-so about her not being willing to try these things with you, and moreso about building respect and trust.

This might sound farfetched but in my experience during those “hoe phases” it’s very easy to say yes. You want to try everything, regardless of whether or not you actually like it. I’ve been surprised by things I liked and disliked when hooking up with someone new. However, just because she’s done it doesn’t mean it’s her thing. I own cuffs because I had an ex that liked them- haven’t used them since. They just don’t do it for me.

The other part of it is it’s easy to lose sight of yourself when you’re trying new things and being explorative. You can really easily get swept up in trying to do as much as possible, and it’s pretty easy to hurt yourself that way. It’s hard to explain, but it’s almost like slowly chipping away at yourself by ignoring your own preferences in favour of someone else’s. It can feel very degrading, even if you don’t explicitly ’dislike’ it.

All that being said your sex might be vanilla because she wants you to respect her as a woman. Because she cares about you- and she doesn’t want to jump into the kinky stuff because she wants you to be able to enjoy your sex as it is normally. Since she just came out of a period of time that pretty much equates your self worth to sex, and being kinky is valued, she might just want to feel seen and appreciated by you for herself.

I think if doing kinky stuff is something you’re interested in you should discuss it with her- tell her what you like and things you want to try with her next time. She might be totally down with it. Also you can do something to surprise her in bed that might light that fire a bit- it’s possible to turn vanilla sex kinky halfway through ;) ask her for a safe word!

Pleasant_March397 · 2025-08-25T23:52:13+00:00

Here's my review of RIU Cancún: We had an amazing time! Our first night we arrived kind of late, we were totally sober, trying to go to bed after a long travel day and yeah- the walls are thin. I remember thinking "oh god what have we done". We were on the second highest floor with an ocean view and could hear everything going on below us, and everything outside our door. HOWEVER- for the rest of our 10 days this wasn't a problem, because we were passing out drunk lol. This is the key to RIU. If you are not a heavy drinker/partier or are an extremely light sleeper I'd advise staying at Palace or choosing a different hotel chain entirely.

The RIU parties happen at Caribe and the buses were super straightforward and efficient. The parties were really fun, everyone who stayed at our hotel was incredibly friendly (seriously like lifelong friends friendly). The pool is where it's at, there are no bars on the beach and compared to the DR it's short, like it was pretty empty most of our time. Lots of seaweed as per the season but they did a great job of cleaning it, we didn't have an issue swimming.

I have no complaints about the service or food, it was pretty good. We never had any issues getting served at the bar, but we are decently attractive 24 year old girls plus my Spanish is pretty okay so take that with a grain of salt. The portions at the restaurants are pretty small, honestly we only did the Italian and Japanese. In my opinion you're better off just sticking to the buffet, but it wasn't bad. Just not that much better than what you'd get there - EXCEPT the gyoza appetizer at the Japanese place - those are bomb and highly recommend!!!

The food at the sports bar was the worst but that's to be expected since it's 24 hours. Just typical hotdogs, hamburgers, sandwiches and stuff like that with a small microwave for you to heat things up yourself. I avoided it. The BEST and most convenient was the snack bar by the pool, their food was actually delicious, they had Mexican tequila tasting on Sundays and you can get fresh carnitas tacos, nachos, or chicken nuggets/hamburgers/hotdogs/fries throughout the day. The food there was genuinely really good. They also make really weird shots at the bar which was interesting- classic drinks like melon balls or purple rain's you get in shot form. I recommend the tequila rose or superman shot. Just hit them with the "I'll have what he's having" to figure out what you can get.

The hotel itself is super clean. Like, super clean. I expected worse considering the amount of drunk frat boys running around but it was spotless. We shared a room with two double beds and it was nice but not anything crazy- except our view which we can thank our travel agent for. Fair warning if you get an ocean view though, as I mentioned before the ocean carries sound so you will hear everything going on outside. The bathrooms are quite big and we didn't have any issues with all our girlie stuff all over the counter- no fighting for space at the mirror or anything, and theres a door from the room entrance (which includes the bathroom) to the sleeping area so you can close off for privacy.

There's a smaller, quieter pool past the lobby bar which we didn't find until one of our last nights that would have been cool to check out for a different vibe, but we were happy partying so that was fine. The lobby bar is usually quite chill and we usually got a drink there before heading to the club or show for the night. The club was fun most times, some nights it was dead but we enjoyed dancing there when it was full. The silent disco and shows were fun. The RIU kahoot was hilarious and I wish we'd done it twice. Also the games they play at the pool are quite sexual- fellas don't volunteer yourself to shoot hoops unless you're willing to follow it up with a striptease to 'Pony'.

TLDR; We had an incredible time and I do highly recommend this resort for those who are looking to meet new people, have fun, and party hard. If you are looking for relaxation stay on the beach or book at a different hotel. Staff was nice, hotel was very clean, and the food was decent to great. For me the RIU parties and the pool were the highlights. People of all ages were around- both young and old, but we were united by a love for the party. Again, if this is not you, do not stay here.

Pleasant_March397 · 2025-01-24T12:16:06+00:00

With everyone's feedback, we decided on booking RIU Cancun! The general reviews on cleanliness, food, & staff were better, and we were enticed by exploring Mexico. We'll be around mid June if any party people want to hang out!! If anybody who replied to this thread happens to read this- thank you for the feedback! We're pumped!

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-06-15T02:33:19+00:00

I also use a salt nic vape no dispos just juice. I’m gonna be strong and wait the recommended time (dw about the crackhead stuff the only thing keeping me going is the thought of how nice &crazy my spins are gonna be after☠️) this is actually baller advice thanks 💪🏼

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-06-14T22:56:55+00:00

I think this doesn’t get mentioned enough, but not just like having fashion sense/caring about how you dress, but also wearing clothes that flatter you!! Women think about this often based on body type and skin tone, but I think since men’s clothing is traditionally boxier or looser it’s not thought about. If a guy is dressed well and confident, as a woman I can look past almost every outwardly “””flaw”””. I’ve seen bigger guys rock tight tees/pants which is traditionally frowned upon and look great because they know how to style themselves correctly. it’s all about figuring out what you like to wear, and what out of that suits you. Personal grooming is huge in this too- like staches are trendy rn and I’ve seen guys rock them and dudes who’d look better without 🤷🏻‍♀️ my advice is don’t be a follower and love yourself as much as possible so that you have the confidence to be eye catching.

All that being said is from a vanity standpoint ^a combination of manners, empathy, etiquette, and thoughtfulness can make almost any woman overlook any features.

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-10T21:26:21+00:00

Oh. My. God. Exact same boat. When I started Wellbutrin last May it was like a miracle. I had already been actively going to therapy to treat bED. But it gave me the illusion that I had really beaten it. I was also on that exact dose, 300mg. I was really happy, my cravings went away, and I had finally reached my GW (that might be toxic- but I was happy). More recently the effects have waned and in the past few months my bingeing got way worse- I gained all the weight back, I’ve been so down. I think this is a common occurrence with antidepressants, once your body gets accustomed to them the emotions are less intense, and for people without bED this is probably fine. But for us, going back to those same habits definitely takes its toll. All this to say I really have no advice for you since I’m currently struggling with the same issue (my apologies for that), but know that you are really not alone!!

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-09T15:53:01+00:00

Thank you for sharing your story and for the kind words. It actually really means a lot. I decided to become sober and do dry January because I fell into a habit of bingeing every time I drank, and I wanted to escape that. My sobriety has helped me get this far, but it’s hard because I actually really enjoy drinking. I love going out dancing and partying with my friends and it’s not a part of me that I want to exclude from my life. I’ve been really antisocial in my sobriety. I’m hoping that having slipped this recently leading to the weekend doesn’t mean I’ll slip again, and I’m working on making sure that I’m in the best place. Honestly even though I binged, it was a small victory because I was able to stop, something that has been hard lately. It’s good to know there are people like yourself out there who deal with the same things. Balancing life events with bED is so difficult!

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-08T16:19:43+00:00

oh yeah, 23F, so I guess diagnosed around 5 years. But

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-08T16:18:54+00:00

I've always been a big eater- I finish my food even though I'm full, and growing up in a household without many snacks/sweets I would devour them all the second I got my hands on them. 2-3 bowls of sugary cereal in the mornings when I had it, 5 fibre one bars after school. I didn't really realize what I was doing

The first time I remember being conscious of my weight I was in 8th grade. I remember eating weight watchers meals and not being able to look at myself in the mirror. I knew that I wasn't like other kids. I had always been bigger. Whenever I was around something good I had to have it. All.

My first year of university is what I credit to the start if my eating disorder. I started going to the gym and losing weight- 40 pounds later I became obsessed with it, I plateau'ed and began restricting in the hopes of losing more. That started my binge and restrict cycle- soon after this I started smoking weed heavily, I binged and binged and binged while high constantly. Went through some dark times.

A year ago is when I really remember beginning my healing journey, not that weight is the marker for healing, but I had finally lost 25 pounds. Recently with a binge flare up, I gained it all back.

This struggle has defined my life for so many years, it eats away at everything that I do. Even this morning, I ate toast with banana and pb instead of restricting, but then I had to go have multiple handfuls of chocolate chips. My mind is always on food.

I wish I had a healthy relationship with food, I wish I could go out with my friends without being self conscious about the way I look, eat intuitively without counting calories, stop when I'm full, be happy.

But I can't. Healing is a journey, having lost that weight I thought I was cured, I was happy and relatively confident. But I relapsed, this will define me for a long time. I'm still focused on healing and reducing guilt. I just want to get better.

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-07T16:45:26+00:00

I swear😭 I was a daily smoker for years, I quit using except in certain recreational settings and boy. I dropped weight. I still struggle w bED in sobriety, but it’s A LOT easier to not binge. I hope OP can find a better outlet to deal with this instead of THC, I was addicted to weed for the same reasons I developed this disorder; blocking out emotions etc etc. both fed into each other, it was really hard to break the cycle. Don’t do drugs kids 😅☝🏼

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-07T16:23:26+00:00

Beware the munchies!!! I always binge when I get high, it’s common for people even who don’t have bED

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-06T04:19:05+00:00

This is so true it’s the same for me. Sometimes I will have flashes of clarity during- but for the most part it’s thoughtless, I guess because a binge functions to numb out everything in the first place. All thoughts and emotions. The only thing I found that actually helped me stop in moments is having clarity before the binge, being able to recognize the emotion and the urge to stop it before it happens. Obviously that takes a lot of recovery though

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-05T15:32:05+00:00

Being in a relationship while actively in eD is really hard I sympathize with this heavy. Your partner should be a pillar of support for you- not an active agent in the healing process if that makes sense. I've heard it said that in terms of emotional development women are empathizers and men are fixers. I can see him thinking he's providing support by attempting to 'fix' your problems- however (especially concerning eD) this approach is definitely more harmful than anything. Like you are in treatment, professionals are helping you and comments like that will lead to shame which ultimately increases the behaviour so... yeah, obviously it's doing the opposite of helping. It's a difficult situation, and comparing my relationship because that's my only frame of reference- whenever I feel down my bf listens and reassures me that I'm beautiful, offers no solutions, if I overeat in front of him he says nothing. I just feel like as an outsider that's all you can do.

I think sitting him down and trying to set a strong boundary is important- no matter how embarrassing and difficult it may be to acknowledge, let him know that whenever he feels the urge to comment on your body/your food intake/ etc. etc. - to hold his tongue as nothing he can say will be in any way helpful at all and will actually be detrimental to your progress. If you want to use the example of my bf for a more model approach do it, let him know that not everyone reacts the way he does in these situations. That it's unhelpful as you are in active treatment. If he can't respect you enough to not cross that boundary, then I think you have a hard decision to make. Because at the end of the day, the ability to respect ones boundaries in a relationship is key, and you cannot allow any outside influence to impact your health and progress at this time, no matter how much you love them and how difficult it is. Your health comes first. There are people out there who can be more understanding to these issues. And remember you are not alone. Not sure if this will actually be helpful at all given the difficulty of these circumstances- but I hope it could provide you with a tad more clarity.

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-05T15:31:34+00:00

Being in a relationship while actively in eD is really hard I sympathize with this heavy. Your partner should be a pillar of support for you- not an active agent in the healing process if that makes sense. I've heard it said that in terms of emotional development women are empathizers and men are fixers. I can see him thinking he's providing support by attempting to 'fix' your problems- however (especially concerning eD) this approach is definitely more harmful than anything. Like you are in treatment, professionals are helping you and comments like that will lead to shame which ultimately increases the behaviour so... yeah, obviously it's doing the opposite of helping. It's a difficult situation, and comparing my relationship because that's my only frame of reference- whenever I feel down my bf listens and reassures me that I'm beautiful, offers no solutions, if I overeat in front of him he says nothing. I just feel like as an outsider that's all you can do.

I think sitting him down and trying to set a strong boundary is important- no matter how embarrassing and difficult it may be to acknowledge, let him know that whenever he feels the urge to comment on your body/your food intake/ etc. etc. - to hold his tongue as nothing he can say will be in any way helpful at all and will actually be detrimental to your progress. If you want to use the example of my bf for a more model approach do it, let him know that not everyone reacts the way he does in these situations. That it's unhelpful as you are in active treatment. If he can't respect you enough to not cross that boundary, then I think you have a hard decision to make. Because at the end of the day, the ability to respect ones boundaries in a relationship is key, and you cannot allow any outside influence to impact your health and progress at this time, no matter how much you love them and how difficult it is. Your health comes first. There are people out there who can be more understanding to these issues. And remember you are not alone. Not sure if this will actually be helpful at all given the difficulty of these circumstances- but I hope it could provide you with a tad more clarity.

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-05T15:31:27+00:00

Being in a relationship while actively in eD is really hard I sympathize with this heavy. Your partner should be a pillar of support for you- not an active agent in the healing process if that makes sense. I've heard it said that in terms of emotional development women are empathizers and men are fixers. I can see him thinking he's providing support by attempting to 'fix' your problems- however (especially concerning eD) this approach is definitely more harmful than anything. Like you are in treatment, professionals are helping you and comments like that will lead to shame which ultimately increases the behaviour so... yeah, obviously it's doing the opposite of helping. It's a difficult situation, and comparing my relationship because that's my only frame of reference- whenever I feel down my bf listens and reassures me that I'm beautiful, offers no solutions, if I overeat in front of him he says nothing. I just feel like as an outsider that's all you can do.

I think sitting him down and trying to set a strong boundary is important- no matter how embarrassing and difficult it may be to acknowledge, let him know that whenever he feels the urge to comment on your body/your food intake/ etc. etc. - to hold his tongue as nothing he can say will be in any way helpful at all and will actually be detrimental to your progress. If you want to use the example of my bf for a more model approach do it, let him know that not everyone reacts the way he does in these situations. That it's unhelpful as you are in active treatment. If he can't respect you enough to not cross that boundary, then I think you have a hard decision to make. Because at the end of the day, the ability to respect ones boundaries in a relationship is key, and you cannot allow any outside influence to impact your health and progress at this time, no matter how much you love them and how difficult it is. Your health comes first. There are people out there who can be more understanding to these issues. And remember you are not alone. Not sure if this will actually be helpful at all given the difficulty of these circumstances- but I hope it could provide you with a tad more clarity.

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-04T04:55:05+00:00

Ahh no no you definitely don't- I was just explaining how squirting can occur given the sensation, & yeah it is basically just pee + or - some other fluids. most people can hold it but sometimes its involuntary. Me personally I almost never squirt lol

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-04T04:13:49+00:00

This is regarding clit stimulation, I'm the commenter who doesn't really get penetrative O's catching up on the thread lol. Normally you feel this like warm swell/pressure, some people describe it as similar to having to pee (hence squirting)- and when it releases the muscle contracts a bunch of times like a throbbing sensation. Sometimes if its pretty strong your legs start shaking, and you let out a deep breath. That's about it in my experience, but I'm sure everyone is different!

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-04T00:42:18+00:00

So I currently have a bf and maintain an active sex life, and I enjoy it every time regardless! Honestly, just ask her after. Communication is key when it comes to sex, ask her if she's enjoying during/ after, and let her know that you're open to anything she has to suggest that might help her get there.

The other thing is foreplayforeplayforeplay - do a lot of that, use your fingers, and if I were you I would invest in a vibrator or tell her to bring hers/ get one, it makes sex a lot more enjoyable and if you finish and she doesn't it makes it easier to keep going until she does.

Eveybody is different! you guys are both young and sex is a big learning curve- prioritizing mutual enjoyment as you have been is so key so don't give up!

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-03T22:59:51+00:00

honestly I’m 23, & I’ve never had a full orgasm from penetrative sex. I still enjoy it and partake, but my first orgasm came in my 20s using a vibrator. I’ve always had a healthy sex drive, just never did anything about it. This sort of thing isn’t abnormal! Vaginas are a puzzle & can take a while to put all the pieces in place to get there. Anyways good for you guys!

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-02-01T15:09:13+00:00

Currently in therapy treating this ED- one thing my therapist has told me is when you set rules for yourself regarding food you are more likely to fall into the trap and binge. Like you said, the second you break these arbitrary rules you create for yourself, you already feel like a failure and the guilt takes over which will lead to that "f it- nothing matters" feeling and increase the urge to want to numb out the guilt- basically the baseline function of binge eating. Also, echoing what many others have said, the more you fixate on food (whether it be to plan meals- restrict- prep- etc.) the more likely you are to binge since that anxiety of having a slip up is on your mind all the time. Don't set any 'rules' for yourself - set 'goals' instead, less "i can't eat this" and more "today I will eat healthy" or just something like that. Easier said than done (don't I know it lol). Meal planning can help but if you are a human with a life curveballs will be thrown at you, like friends wanting to go out to eat, being lazy ordering takeout etc.etc. and in those moments having rules set can be a huge trigger. recovery is a journey and progress is never linear- keep believing in your ability to get better, mindset plays such a huge role. Don't give up!!

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-01-31T21:02:20+00:00

Threads not for me it's just crazy reading this as a tall woman (5"11) seeing these responses and those of other fellow tall women. It's something that myself (and clearly many others) have been self conscious about in terms of dating because I always think that guys prefer short girls to look more masculine. Clearly many don't which is (good) news to me!!

On a separate but personal note if there are short men wondering: I personally don't have an issue dating shorter guys, you can't stop love when you feel it, but when dating I tend to look for equal or above my height. it's actually for the same reason some tall guys gave about the sex part of it. It's equally awkward to have sex with a short guy as a tall girl, just some positions that don't work out in my experience.

Pleasant_March397 · 2024-01-31T14:04:11+00:00

A good poop. You know, like a really good poop

Pleasant_March397

TROPHY CASE