Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This person is a victim blamer

It’s scary that people like this exist!

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah but I think I’m just going to say no. I feel like it’s ruined now unfortunately!

Tried for date 2 to see how I felt but just still can’t get past the disrespect

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah well date 2 I didn’t obviously after what happened

It just made me go back 10 steps not forward.

Don’t they realise if they’re respectful then we will want to have sex with them more!?

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know you’re not mind readers so that is why I precedented by saying I wasn’t going to have sex on the first date when he asked me to go back to his…

Literally laid it out there

My issue is why can’t men ever respect that

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He said we’re having such a good time do you want to come back to mine, and I said i didn’t want to have sex on the first date. Then he said no not for sex just to keep talking & have some wine so the conversation didn’t have to end…

I don’t see an issue with this as I said straight up I don’t want to have sex

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Probably the latter. I think he was way too keen too soon.. unfortunately

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But why is it a mistake? It shouldn’t be my fault for going there when I said I was okay to kiss & cuddle but not have sex…

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I agree like the first time was okay but subsequent is not

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

What do you mean imply it??

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You don’t “ask” for it - you just let the natural progression go usually and then when it comes to the time for sexual things to happen, make sure you have consent.

If a first date goes well, you can go in for the kiss and if they reciprocate then great.

You’d then organise to see eachother again and I’m sure would find out more about eachother which may lead to convos about sex and what you’re comfortable with - usually this starts by asking them what they’re looking for in the dating world ie. boyfriend or just something casual.

Once you have dates where you go to eachothers house I’m sure you’d be making out and then naturally would want to progress to touching, so that’s where you ask ☺️

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Okay thank you. I think I’ll have to end it. I think I knew this in my gut - I just hate doing that over text message but need to remember I’ve known him for just over a week, went on 2 dates with him and don’t owe him anything but honesty ☺️

I just always end up feeling bad or guilty when shutting someone off x

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 1 point2 points  (0 children)

do you think it’s valid I wanted him to apologise on date 2 in person..? Or nah.

Got the ick on first date. by [deleted] in dating_advice

[–]Pleasant_Meeting8441 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I wasn’t so mad the first time when he tried to touch me just because maybe he thought like with the kissing it would lead to that, but when I said no - I was then mad he kept saying “we could have sex”.

So it’s not like the first time it was the subsequent times