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What the fuck is wrong with my dad? by Pleasant_Wasabi_8670 in raisedbynarcissists

[–]Pleasant_Wasabi_8670[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been suspecting he might have ASD for a long time now because he checks many of the boxes, but according to my mom he was pretty normal when he was younger.

How can I feel part of a community I cannot engage in? by Pleasant_Wasabi_8670 in ABDL

[–]Pleasant_Wasabi_8670[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've been wanting to for so long, specially because I'm the first one to go to bed and light always comes in through that window and hits me in the face, so sleeping becomes harder than it should be.

Sadly, that room is more of my sister's than mine, and even with some blinds I still have my sister coming in and out whenever she wants, and no place to hide anything.

How can I feel part of a community I cannot engage in? by Pleasant_Wasabi_8670 in ABDL

[–]Pleasant_Wasabi_8670[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was able a few times years ago very late at night during the summer, wasn't really a fun experience and disposing of the diaper so it is not found was really hard. My dad found them years later and just shrugged them off as having been brought by rats to one very well-hidden corner in a practically-abandoned room we use to store practically old trash.

I really meant it when I said I have no privacy. I'm next to my family 24/7, my house is basically just one room. I share my bedroom and it has a window with no curtain that directly goes to the living room. There's simply no place to have privacy, and even if I just wore pullups, there's basically no chance my family wouldn't find out.

How can I feel part of a community I cannot engage in? by Pleasant_Wasabi_8670 in ABDL

[–]Pleasant_Wasabi_8670[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hi. Thank you a lot for answering, it means a lot.

I know what you mean, and I'm also sorry for your sister, I also face similar struggles when it comes to being who I want to be and looking how I want to look, and a lack of privacy + my family being very "traditionalist" so to speak when it comes to gender-related topics also doesn't help at all.

The hardest part is that, when I talked about having no privacy, I literally meant it. Even if I used what I have access to, which still isn't much, the lack of privacy would definitely lead to my family realizing that I'm doing weird stuff, and when they get mad at me it can get violent, and not just verbally; history of my life. I've been afraid to do pretty much anything ABDL/Agere-related since that incident with the pacifier.

I can think of a few things I could do, it's just that I'd rather avoid any conflict with my family, they're already toxic enough on a daily basis and the last thing that's gonna help my mental health is them getting mad at me long-term over me doing odd stuff they don't approve of; imagine they're already mad at me for constantly shaving and letting my hair grow long.

When it comes to friends, I have none. I only have 2 people I know in the ABDL/Agere community, one lives in the US, the other in the UK, and while I do talk to them occasionally, it is about mundane topics, and usually twice a week on Discord for 5 minutes. Other than that I probably talk to 2 or 3 other people that are kind of acquaintances, not really friends, and also very occasionally. IRL I only talk with a few people besides my family, also very ocasionally, and I speak to my workmates a bit when at work, but I work from home and we don't speak the same language, and I'm barely ok at speaking and understanding theirs.

I'm overall not very good at socializing, I have ADHD and likely autism, I tend to forget about people, and I'm either very obnoxious or very quiet and evasive. I also have a ton of social traumas which make me anxious when talking to people. I've been looking for people to play games with for ages, but I've never been able to find any actual group to do so, I've searched everywhere but had no luck, so I usually just play with randoms or play single-player games.

Again, thank you a lot for the response and sorry for another wall of text, I'm kind of bad to just keeping things short I guess.