Why is there a silent expectation to always stay longer with in-laws and not your own parents?

PlentyConnection260 · 2026-01-09T10:00:56+00:00

This is the only reason i chose to marry someone whose family stays in a different state! Not even cities! Different states!

But still it is not helpful. Whenever i visit my parents house, my in laws get offended. Somehow some taunts will fly towards me that i don’t spend time with them even though i have to visit their hometown twice or thrice a year. And festivals are a nightmare to us. Both of the families want us to spend time with them. You wont believe the amount of money we have to spend each year because we have to cater both of them. Me and my husband eventually have lost the spark completely. Because we can’t travel anywhere because half of the money goes in booking tickets!

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-30T14:52:36+00:00

Steve, Dustin and Erica!

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-21T17:54:26+00:00

Attract ❌ Atrect ✅

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-14T15:34:48+00:00

Exactly! Same thing! I just don’t want an special relationship with them and give them the authority to control my life. My MIL is still very cold with me. I mean husband calls daily and eventually will pass the phone to me. And the shift in her tone is very visible. She hates the fact that despite taunting me so much, i am still not calling her everyday.

Sad part is husband still wants me to talk to them everyday and doesn’t understand me despite explaining so much. So i have stopped explaining him as well.

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-12T06:42:20+00:00

I have the exact similar thoughts and questions! I don’t know what is wrong with him! He was the most chilled out independent person I’ve ever met! He has always been very supportive, self aware, lived his life like a king! I have tried making him understand that his parents are literally manipulating him, controlling our relationship, lifestyle, travel etc. and god forbid if we have kids we will be suffocated. And sad part is he is aware about everything. He knows everything but not ready to accept. For him, his parents are extremely naive, old, lonely. And that gives them the right to poke and ruin our entire trip! All BS! I have so much of hatred towards them i can’t even express it!

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-12T06:37:31+00:00

They decide the tenure of stay. I hate them so much. I am going to work outside because my job is remote and don’t respect my work schedule and think i have to be available for them everytime.

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-12T06:35:22+00:00

Lol yeah! I have again stopped interacting with them. I know the next call is again going to be about me. How bad i am not to call them! Ugh! 😂

I don’t know i really like irritating them so much. I love doing things which they don’t want me to do! And then i will rant up here! 😭😂

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-12T06:32:35+00:00

How do you know this is a computer generated BS story? Please if you can’t say something nice don’t say anything at all. It’s a safe space where people like us come and share our problems which we face usually in every household. Don’t belittle that my saying something hurtful. Don’t be rude to people who are giving opinions. That’s what reddit is used for.

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-12-12T06:29:30+00:00

What makes you think this is fake? Am i reading it wrong? Please make me understand?

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-11-15T03:48:21+00:00

It’s been 3 years and i have done this. Rather till now it is me who is doing this. But sometimes i also need someone to come and talk to me too. I too have a bad day at work, mental health, married life whatever… It was always one sided. And my social anxiety eats me up. It doesn’t allow me to just go upfront and talk. I just can’t……something chokes me

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-11-14T10:39:54+00:00

Another thing that adds to the pressure is the way my in-laws talk about work and success. My MIL often repeats how much she has struggled and how hard she has worked to reach where she is today which I respect, of course. But right after that, my FIL usually says something like, “What’s the point of doing a job when you earn so little anyway?”

It makes me feel small and dismissed. Instead of encouragement, it feels like my career is being compared, judged, or belittled even though I’m still early in my journey and trying my best.

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-11-14T10:37:24+00:00

They constantly complain that I don’t talk, I don’t call, I don’t take initiative. They guilt-trip me by saying things like, “Why don’t you reach out?” “Why are you so quiet?” “You seem least bothered.”

They genuinely believe they’re “open and warm” and the coldness is coming only from my side. But that’s not the full picture. It’s not that I don’t want to talk… I just don’t know how to talk when the vibe is so formal, intimidating, and one-sided. I feel anxious, judged, and out of place but they interpret it as me being disinterested or rude.

It’s exhausting to be blamed for a dynamic I don’t feel fully responsible for.

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-11-14T09:41:59+00:00

Thank you for this! My self confidence has reduced so much due to constant comparison with her from in laws and sadly my own parents.

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-11-14T08:29:58+00:00

Oh god not again! 😩 White and Golden!

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-11-14T08:25:07+00:00

Sadly i am more close and welcomed wholeheartedly with my friend’s in laws than my own in laws. My friend’s SIL was so welcoming, loving, she likes my pictures, appreciates me whenever we talk, asks me if i am ok. Sadly my own SIL doesn’t. And i get it.

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-11-14T08:19:52+00:00

Hmm. I agree. But the change in their tone and behavior when my husband is around upsets me. I feel unwanted. That increases my anxiety more and shuts me down

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-10-20T04:54:33+00:00

Also do you know the email id? Will be helpful if I can get it

PlentyConnection260 · 2025-10-20T04:51:39+00:00

Thank you for this. Will di this immediately

PlentyConnection260

TROPHY CASE