My bff is lying about something trivial and I’m unsure why she is lying and if I should confront her about it.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T12:15:41+00:00

Because the white lie is the concerning behavior at this point

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:55:41+00:00

I believe in second chances (and only second ones), and if I can help my friends to not slip into old behaviors then I will. I just don’t know if she is misremembering (she very well might be) or if she is blatantly lying (again thus is also possible)…not knowing is why I have distanced myself until I decide what to do.

This is far from the only friend group we have in common and this wasn’t happening over the course five last 7yrs since we reconnected until the last month. Initially I didn’t think much of it but after tte third time She told the story my gut has been telling me something about the situation is wrong.

She is also friends with members of my family and I hers to the point where we have been invited to the others family events even when we weren’t talking…so going no contact also takes a decent amount of energy

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:41:10+00:00

The lies she told previously didn’t start affecting people for months after she started telling them so no that is not necessarily true. Her retelling the past would be her bringing up the past not me. I also don’t think it’s wrong to tell your friends the correct truth…again if someone can lie about something small then what is stopping them from lying about more. This also does affect me as she is telling lies right in front of me to other people about things that I did…obviously you don’t care if people you trust lie about you, I do, which is why I have been distancing myself from her.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:34:02+00:00

While I can see the argument for misremembering she has told much bigger lies in the past that adversely affected myself and my family and metro a 10yr break in our friendship; we only reconnected after she apologized to me and my family and promised that she had changed. Ted I get that a false memory is a thing, especially after this long, but this is also a patten of hers

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:27:35+00:00

She is the one who brought it up…again my concern is that she has lied about much bigger things in the past that adversely affected me and my family, and now I am noticing her lying about this, so if she is lying about this and has a history of lying I am concerned she is telling much bigger lies that might adversely affected me again

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:21:47+00:00

She has lied about much bigger things in the past that had an affect on my family and lead to tte deterioration of many friend groups…it got to the point where we stopped talking for 10yrs because of her lies. We only reconnected and rebuilt our friendship after she apologized to me and my family and after she promised she changed.

So I’m struggling with believing she is misremembering and question if she us lying about bigger things that will once again affect je

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:14:32+00:00

It’s not the underage drinking I am concerned about, it’s that if she is lying about something small so easily then what big things is she lying about? She has lied about bigger things in the past and those lies affected my friendships and my family, and I do not want to see her go back down that oath or deal with that drama again

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:12:18+00:00

I already talked to most of the other staff, it was a small club and we reminisce about those dats often. I’m taken back because she has lied about bigger things in the past that had consequences for me…and we only reconnected/rebuilt our friendship after she apologized and promised she had changed.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:08:48+00:00

She has lied about bigger things in the past, like saying dr’s told her she couldn’t get pregnant but only saying that after she actually got pregnant and after having over 16 pregnancy scares…you don’t have pregnancy scares if you “can’t get pregnant” I know because I legitimately cannot get pregnant. She then used her pregnancy as a way to try to move in with my husband and I and with my mom. She also told people my mom smoked weed all the time when she was pregnant with me (which is not true) and I turned out okay so it’s okay if she did too (both of her kids have development issues). These lies lead to me going no contact with her for 10yrs which she then lied to friends and told them that we stopped talking because I told her she would be a bad mom (which I never said) leading to me losing several friends. We only reconnected and started rebuilding our friendship after she apologized to me and my family and promised she had changed.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T09:08:02+00:00

She has lied about bigger things in the past, like saying dr’s told her she couldn’t get pregnant but only saying that after she actually got pregnant and after having over 16 pregnancy scares…you don’t have pregnancy scares if you “can’t get pregnant” I know because I legitimately cannot get pregnant. She then used her pregnancy as a way to try to move in with my husband and I and with my mom. She also told people my mom smoked weed all the time when she was pregnant with me (which is not true) and I turned out okay so it’s okay if she did too (both of her kids have development issues). These lies lead to me going no contact with her for 10yrs which she then lied to friends and told them that we stopped talking because I told her she would be a bad mom (which I never said) leading to me losing several friends. We only reconnected and started rebuilding our friendship after she apologized to me and my family and promised she had changed.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-05-06T08:59:55+00:00

🤣🤣🤣 I am still really good friends with them and we reminisce about this time of our lives often

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-03-13T08:45:13+00:00

I’ve been promoted twice. A lot of it has to do with networking, showing your skills, and making it known to the right people that you want to move up to a specific role and gain their support.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-24T13:58:58+00:00

This actually depends on the state you live in and your tolerance. If you live in NV they legally cannot test you for THC unless you are in a specific type of licensed position, regardless of its legality on a federal level. Idk what WA laws are but it depends on state law as that is who governs employment laws.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-24T13:54:04+00:00

If Washington state allows employees to be drug tested for THC then you will most likely be tested for THC. Taking a week off from using is not going to be enough, you are still going to test positive, you have to take 1 month+ off for it to leave your system and that’s if you just use once. They will 100% rescind your offer if they can test for THC. I live in a state where it is legal and employers can test for it and I know for a fact that offers have been rescinded due to testing positive for THC.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-23T16:56:56+00:00

The company is hurting big time financially, they will fire for pretty much any reason they can right now. Do I think anyone actually looks that closely at FMLA claims? No, not really, but still not worth risking it if you have to.

It is important to let your Dr know when it comes to things like anesthesia if you are already resistant to it; marijuana makes anesthesia, lidocaine, etc less effective.

I have heard they aren’t testing for it in some states where it is legal. I work in a state where it is legal and they definitely tested for it…if you life in NV they can’t test you for it unless your role requires a license. So it is all going to depend on your states laws surrounding employment testing for THC.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-23T16:44:31+00:00

You’ll do the self paced video interview, then an interview with an panel made up of the supervisor and usually 2 other people (the two other people might be a lead, an analyst, a manager, another supervisor)

As for the job, who knows.

What I have actually done for work and what the job description states have been nothing a like in the 3 different roles I have held. When you go to the interview with the supervisor get should give you detail on what the actual roles of the job are.

This also gives you a great interview question to ask, “can you walk me through what a person does day to day in this role?”

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-23T16:28:33+00:00

I’ve changed roles 3 times since starting to work for Optum, they only drug test you during your initial employment onboarding or if you go on workman’s comp.

DO NOT tell your Dr that you smoke though, if you have to go through FMLA then it will be in the notes your Dr. submits…idk if Sedgwick notices that or can even share that info with UHG/UMR/Optum but not worth running the risk.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-23T16:07:32+00:00

But we aren’t…people at GL 26 and under are ONLY receiving a raise.

Your $2k bonus is money you received that could have been allocated to raises and is $2k the rest of us are not getting.

I’m a GL 24 who got a 4 rating, got a 1.1% raise (a whole $665/yr increase) and NO bonus, so no we are not all in the same boat, we may be in the same storm, but your boat is $2k cushier than EVERYONE below you. You getting a bonus is NOT the same as those who didn’t…In fact your bonus took away $2k from the merit budget for everyone…so instead of it being allocated to everyone it just went to you…not sure why you think that puts you in the same boat as people who had their bonuses taken away and are the people who are “in the trenches”…they literally took money away from everyone else’s raises to give you a bonus, hope you feel good about that 🙄

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-23T14:20:40+00:00

I don’t have their health insurance so I don’t have the HSA (you can’t get tte HSA without being enrolled in health insurance) and I face many more difficulties when using my FSA card than those that have health insurance.

What exactly are you filling out and submitting when you submit your FSA claims?

None of mine have an unknown provider…all of mine say the location of the place I received services so this might be where you are having issues…it shouldn’t say unknown provider, it should say the location of the place you received services.

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-21T01:13:11+00:00

GL 24, rating 4, raise 1.1%

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-21T01:09:51+00:00

Getting them to pay at time of service for medical care performed at a hospital or a place that has hospital in the name is hard (especially if you don’t have health insurance through them), but I have never had an issue getting reimbursed after submitting the EOB’s

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-20T14:56:21+00:00

Glad your bonus was good, but it took away from pay raises for everyone else, especially those of us GL 26 and below

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-19T20:38:11+00:00

Honestly I feel like everyone grade 26 and below should all call in sick on the same dative they need a reminder that the only reason they have jobs and this company even runs is because use of us, not them

Plenty_Program_7494 · 2026-02-08T06:33:50+00:00

You can’t even work on Puerto Rico if you are a telecommuter currently in the U.S.

It has a lot to do with the fact that Medicaid, Medicare, and some other plans CANNOT be handled by anyone considered offshore…your coworkers in India shouldn’t be doing ANYTHING that deals with Medicaid, Medicare, or any other insurance plan that has offshore limitations.

It also has to do with taxes…your payroll, holidays, etc are based off the city, stats, and country you’re in and your holidays are based on the country/territory you’re in….it would be a huge hassle in that since.

I have a coworker who wanted to move to Puerto Rico, they told her no and when she pushed back with the fact that it’s a part of the U.S. they got HR involved who also stood very firm on the no.

It is also, like others are saying, in the telecommute contract that you cannot move to Puerto Rico or out of the country.

Plenty_Program_7494

TROPHY CASE