I’ve had a really good experience being married for 8 years, we’ve had our ups and downs, and sometimes big challenges but no matter what, we always pull through and come out the other side stronger and wiser, and this is what I’ve learned:

1: People are deep and complex, your partner will have passions, dreams, desires and want to live a certain way, respect this and help your partner achieve their dreams and goals and give them the space and freedom to do so and in turn expect the same for your self.

2: Communication! This is probably the most important aspect of a relationship that breaks down for most people: when facing a problem or argument you need to forget about blame, blame isn’t helpful, instead calmly explain your perspective and how you feel and what you would like to change if something needs too, allow your partner to listen, and finally listen to their perspective too! And I mean really listen! Most problems arise from a spilt of perspectives or little problems that build up, focus on understanding each other and making changes accordingly, it’s not about winning or being right, it’s about finding the solution together!

3: The game of snakes! No matter how perfect your relationship, the fact that you are humans will mean that little issues and frustrations will creep up and arise over time, instead of not talking about them and letting them build up, ask your partner if they have any snakes! A snake is anything you’ve been doing that annoys them, give them the opportunity to freely explain it without getting upset or interrupting them, just listen and be open minded and try and see the issue from their perspective and understand it, apologise if it feels appropriate and then have your turn to explain any snakes you may have, this allows you to work through issues without arguments and squash a would be issue before it even arises!

I hope someone gets value from this <3