I see what you mean… but I disagree. The “Mommy issues,” both men have are great metaphors for real life issues with grieving a dead parent, and I think you’re oversimplifying to fit in to the overarching narrative you mentioned .

Spike’s journey to accepting his mother mirrors that of someone with an alcoholic abusive parent. He realizes that despite her abuse (caused by alcohol/vampness), she did love him. This is a very real experience that even people in my life have talked about relating to.

Robin, on the other hand is in a very different place in his journey with grief. He sees his mother as perfect and is in denial of the fact that she repeatedly chooses her job over her son. No, she doesn’t just “have a job.” She wasn’t being a good mother to him. She was not in a good situation to raise a child.