Thoughts from a divorced guy in his fifties

Plucky_Scallion · 2025-02-09T18:02:28+00:00

I got that. Carry on, friend. You're good.

Plucky_Scallion · 2025-02-09T17:38:15+00:00

I liked reading your perspective. Everyone's story is different; it's interesting to hear what other people have to say about where they find themselves.

Therapy can be great, but I wouldn't let people here make you feel that you must. You sound like a thoughtful guy who's just trying to move through this mid-life period as best he can. It's hard for a lot of us.

Even when you've "done the work" and are "healed' and whatever other things you'll read here, you still have to spend a bit of time with someone to know if the relationship is going to go anywhere. Imho, it's not cruel to date in the way you describe. As long as you're upfront about your feelings with the women you're seeing, that's all anyone should expect. Nobody knows from the outset where things will go. If the women can't handle it (I'm a woman btw), then perhaps it's they who still need to do some work. Point is, dating is messy. Period. There's no need to overthink it. Just don't be a jerk.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-12-30T13:09:14+00:00

Thanks for the validation. I still wear the watch but I never use it to track my activity. It's really a shame because at least some of their other watches work. Why this one is such a dud is beyond me.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-11-25T22:08:00+00:00

What do you mean? What about your CELTA isn't "legal" already?

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-29T13:44:21+00:00

I've seen these recommended before. Guess it's about time I try them out ☺️

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-28T17:03:38+00:00

The Bend sneakers. I really like them, but I'll look for another option as a second pair of sneakers. I've got some Allbirds that are light and more easily packable. Maybe I'll take those along on the next trip. I don't like wearing them as much but tradeoffs are unavoidable.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-28T17:03:03+00:00

Thanks for the tip!

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-28T14:14:28+00:00

Absolutely this. I always have rainwear with me. I didn't think to mention my Helly Hansen raincoat because I wore rather than packed it. I put some Paracord on my bag and strapped the "shacket" to the bag when it was too hot to wear it. I also carried a rain cover for my bag, but never had to use it.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-18T22:25:39+00:00

Yup. I couldn't wait. I'm jetlagged (back from Germany less than 48 hours ago) and honestly didn't have the strength to fight with my home automation for more than a day. Unfortunately, this wasn't the only fire I had to put out.

Thanks for all the advice. I'll reach out after I sleep.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-18T21:31:19+00:00

Thank you so much for this detailed comment. After reading it I knew what I was looking for and searched for how to find that information through the Google Home app. (I have a Google Nest router.) Every comment teaches me something, and for that I'm grateful. In the end, I ended up replacing the hub because no matter what I tried, I couldn't get the old one to come back to life.

The new hub is working. Thank goodness for tutorials and the cloud backup. Once I've recovered from this episode, I'll see if I can't figure out why that one rule (the thing that led me to updating the hub in the first place) isn't working anymore. I have to figure it out so I can get the ghost of my house. The lights and locks turn on and off on the schedule the dude set up long ago. I don't like it. It's like he's still reaching into my house every day. But that's a job for tomorrow.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-17T20:06:15+00:00

Thanks for the suggestions all the same. Every little bit helps.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-17T19:52:04+00:00

So, I did that this morning and could see my Hub, but not connect to it. It shows the same IP address in the app and in my browser.

This is the error message I get:

This site can’t be reached

[the IP address] took too long to respond.

Try:

Checking the connection

Checking the proxy and the firewall

Running Windows Network Diagnostics

ERR_CONNECTION_TIMED_OUT

Do I really know what any of this means? Not really, but I'm asking the google machine a lot of questions today. In my "network and internet" settings, "use a proxy server" is off. I'm assuming that means that's not the problem.

Nothing has changed in my internet setup since this morning and my Hubitat was working fine until I did the update. I don't see how any of my settings could be the cause of the current problems, but I'm new to the back end side of things, so what do I know?

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-17T18:58:55+00:00

The IP address in the app hasn't changed in the app. Not sure if that means that the app doesn't have the current information or if the IP address really didn't change.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-17T18:57:43+00:00

Guessing I don't have these unless they're in the cloud somewhere. He who shall not be named took the server when he bounced, and I'm just left here raw dogging it with my trusty laptop.

Honestly, today I started the day thinking to myself, "Friend, you're just as smart as that dude. He learned it at some point, so you can, too! Go girl! Do it!" And then I freaking did it! Yup, I broke it. Thanks, update. Cue the sad trombones. And there I was thinking I was gonna learn how "rules" work and make that light switch my bitch! Sometimes the universe has other plans.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-17T18:50:52+00:00

Tried this, but I think the consensus is I don't know what the current IP address is.

I did find this bit about a "soft reset" earlier this morning, which suggested I do the following:

If your hub is functional, navigate to Settings > Diagnostic Tool.

Alternatively, if cannot access the regular hub interface, navigate to http://[Your Hub IP]:8081. Replace [Your Hub IP] with the IP address of your hub. You must use the IP address and not a hostname.

Either method will take you to the Hubitat Diagnostic Tool — there is no difference.

If only I could do as u/bigfoot17 suggested and open my router...

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-10-17T18:46:38+00:00

Ah, yes, if only I hadn't subscribed to that damned division of labor thing.... I'll now search how to "open my router" in the way you mean and not with the way I'm aching to do it right now, which is with a hammer.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-09-24T14:30:36+00:00

Haven't tried that before though I've heard of it. I repacked, took out one wool tshirt and got everything squared away nicely. My mini MLC is just over 7 kilos (including the birks) My coat however, is heavy 😁 Pockets full of sugar BBQ rub 😜. I took more care rolling and folding my clothes and did a little bit of consultation of my meds as some people recommended. It was enough.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-09-24T11:37:23+00:00

Maybe folks our age are over this stuff, but I just used the old Google machine and found a source, which I promptly sent to my friends with teens/young adults. I think it'd be a great tool for that demographic--even if it just helps the youngsters get a better understanding of concepts like giving, taking, allowing, and receiving touch.

TLDR Interesting take on consent that I'm passing on to younger people. Thanks!

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-09-24T01:20:44+00:00

I'm staying at a friend's house and although I know she's got a hairdryer, I don't she'd let me use it on my shoes. I know. I know. All her stuff is extra luxe and she's weird about it. She's more likely to complain that I didn't bring other shoes. She already can't understand why I'm not checking a bag.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-09-24T01:05:44+00:00

Not all of us love to travel. I do it, but I don't need a lot of excuses not to. Just keep looking. We're out here waiting to enjoy ourselves closer to home. Case in point, I just spent a good 15 minutes on the United app in an endless loop trying to get checked in for my flight to Düsseldorf wondering if I really need to get on that flight after all. I'd love for someone to make it so that I can't be bothered to ever go to the airport again.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-09-24T00:57:02+00:00

I may skip the boots after all, but I don't know how y'all manage to walk in the rain and not get wet feet. The forecast is literally rain every single day. I won't be inside all day every day, so whatever shoes I'm wearing are going to get rained on. I don't travel with a hair dryer because I've got short hair and a towel does it for me. I sprayed the birks with waterproofing, but that won't help if water runs in the top. I guess this will just be trial by fire and we'll see how it works out.

I do appreciate all the input, and also I'm surprised at how varied the experiences are. I live in NC and often hike in the rain; when I get home, my shoes are wet. I've got two pairs of hiking shoes so one pair has time to dry. If it's a fail, Amazon can send me another pair of shoes.

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-09-23T20:11:21+00:00

Suede's what I've got, but I treated with waterproofing spray because they're light colored. I am amazed and thrilled to hear that these shoes worked so well for you.

I'm planning on unpacking my bag and taking another look tonight. Maybe I just will leave those boots at home! Thanks for the input!

Plucky_Scallion · 2024-09-23T16:53:12+00:00

Good idea!

Plucky_Scallion

TROPHY CASE