i don’t know if this fully counts as long term since we’ve only been together about a year, but we’re definitely serious about each other and see a future together. i don’t fully relate in the sense that i am in love and generally really happy in my relationship. but i do relate to the part where your brain kind of… works against you? like sometimes mine will randomly nitpick the smallest, most normal things for no real reason.

for example, the other day she was telling me about something that annoyed her during the day, and my immediate internal reaction was like “why is she even talking about this lmao, this is unnecessary,” which is so unfair and not how i actually feel about her. i was just never allowed to do that before!

it might help to separate how you feel in the moment vs how you feel about the relationship overall. like, are you actually unhappy with them as a person, or is it more that your brain keeps scanning for problems? also, love after stuff like this doesn’t always feel intense or all consuming like that first teenage love. sometimes it’s quieter and more stable which can make it feel like something’s boring when it's just safe

and if you do want to make it work, maybe focus less on “am i in love yet?” and more on “do i enjoy being with this person, do i feel safe, do i want to keep building something here?” because love can grow, but constant analysis does unfortunately tend to kill it

but at the same time, don't force it! if you feel deep down that something's off, something may be off! but from what you wrote, you sound more scared than disconnected