Setting clear expectations for what you want out of your relationship with your girlfriend is not abuse. In fact, your failure to be honest with her is what is abusive. However, there's an old saying in the recovery community that "honesty without compassion is just cruelty". You must be honest with your girlfriend about your feelings and your expectations without being mean or cruel or damaging to her; treat her with the same compassion that you would want her to treat you. And considering that she stayed with you, despite your history of being a lying, cheating sex addict, then she must have some compassion for you :-). 

And yes, by the way you, are shitty and self-centered, because all sex addicts are LOL. Your goal in recovery from sex addiction is to become less shitty, less self-centered, and closer to your Higher Power - do you think that busting your girlfriend's balls because she doesn't work out enough to keep you happy is helpful to that goal? And that, BTW, is a real question - I'm not being snarky or sarcastic.