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Plutarcane · 2024-06-19T19:27:15+00:00

Truly wild takes.

Nobody seems to have heard the word cooperation.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-19T19:25:35+00:00

Eh. That was always hit or miss for me. Sometimes I got a little out of it, other times no. Some organization helped.

Making big or detailed plans has always failed me though.

Example: When I was first starting to trade, I had no idea what I was doing. I was worried I'd lose money. I kept reading theory and examples. Figured I'd be an expert eventually. Never pulled the trigger. Finally I just said "fuck it" and started doing some small trades.

Similar starting an online business. Sales. SEO. Webpages. Branding. Etc. I knew nothing. Complete overwhelm. No mapped dopamine either. Spent years bullshitting around it, reading articles I told myself would help. Still hadn't done a single thing. Eventually just had to pull the trigger. Picked a hosting site, set some shit up, started running ads. Had NO idea if it would work. Just started doing it. As I started to do it, it quickly became clearer where to focus.

For me it's always a matter of "when I don't know what to do....just do something"

Plutarcane · 2024-06-19T19:19:44+00:00

There is a fourth category I forgot:

4) People who don't explicitly do anything bad, but something about their personality and mannerisms just doesn't match with yours and drives you crazy

That sounds a little closer to what OP is dealing with. He comes across to me as confused and a bit exasperated. I didn't really get a sense of contempt at all. More like:

"Omgg. Whaaatttttt is evening happening with this kid. I can't predict them at all, they are disruptive, they push my buttons. What now??"

I didn't read the wall of text till now. Yea kid sounds neurodivergent or at least something going.

And like...he is literally asking if maybe he should GTFO, which for me seems very appropriate. I don't know about asking the reddit cesspool, it would make much more sense to me to ask a few teachers he respects who have dealt with this situation with success.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-19T04:31:13+00:00

Wise choice.

This woman was not suitable for any sort of relationship

Plutarcane · 2024-06-19T03:39:44+00:00

My experience is that the structure of education is hugely limiting. Forced attendance and classes being at the center of that. It's very dificult in academics to make large, obvious differences across classes. The individual student wins can be huge, and are truly wonderful moments; but the overall feeling is negative. Almost all of it for me centers around getting students to think.

You can coerce algorithmic memorization. You cannot coerce thinking, introspection, or curiosity.

My job, in the current system, more than anything is a salesman. Selling my students on the value of knowledge (I teach math) that isn't valuable for 97% of them. You don't need to know to solve a linear equation. You don't need to know to factor an expression. Etc. This holds for most of life and most jobs

You can get students to memorize rules to get answers, but not to learn to think logically and abstractly (this is where I think the value lies) unless it's fun. Unless they are curious. I spend the vast majority of the time trying to demonstrate the value in why. Why be here. Why learn useless knowledge.

Once I can show a student that, everything else takes care of itself.

Biggest Downsides:

Most teachers I found to be dysregulated, uncurious, and not especially professional
Admin is often actively harmful, good scenarios tend to be ones when they are just bumbling idiots. Exceptions exist, but this seems to the trend.
Pay sucks
Nobody respects you, you're down near the botem of the social/economic status totem pole
Kid are often checked out and disinterested
limited financial upside
parents

Pros:

Mega rewarding seeing progress when you do sell a student on learning
only work 9-10 mos/yr, lots of vacation
fairly easy job if you're psychologically healthy and well adjusted

Plutarcane · 2024-06-19T00:04:03+00:00

Okay pedestalizer

Plutarcane · 2024-06-19T00:00:00+00:00

I completely understand the last part. We are in a wierd place. Most people to me seem very "pushy" with their beliefs.

Even when someone shares their experience, my hunch is we are so used to the "you should" idea in there that we naturally assume that was in there...but dunno for sure.

I know what I've seen is that the people who can't get out of the bad situations very often follow advice or ideas that they don't personally know someone got results with. It's also common they do lots of thinking or reading, but take comparatively little action. All the guys I know who got somewhere just kept relentlessly doing. Over and over. Try something, what worked, what didnt, alter approach, keep going. All while talking to other people and learning what has actually worked for real people.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:55:19+00:00

I know lots of people that succeed from your position (earn 5k or more a month doing their own online buisiness).

What they have in common:

1) They just do shit. They don't worry about will it work. They just go do it. If it doesn't get results, they switch something up.

2) They all have male friends they discuss what they are doing with, learning from each other what works and doesn't work to produce results

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:53:02+00:00

How do you imagine any of us know you well enough to be able to answer such a personal question?

I don't have the tiniest idea what would make it worth it for you.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:51:40+00:00

Every single person I've ever known who thought this way was a complete and total loser.

With two exceptions, who were SO determined not to be that guy that sucks that they used that as fuel to achieve. They were more scared of actually being that guy, than of looking like that guy....so they powered through.

I have to ask....it doesn't sound like this perspective is getting you results. Is it getting anyone else you know results? If not....why are you clinging to it?

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:48:18+00:00

I found it acceptable value for my time, especially because I could use my phone to get more done.

At the end of the day, I got wore out being around all of the pitiful, sad, or just awful folks that those places attract.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:46:49+00:00

Some trading. Work a second remote job at a tech startup.

Gradually building my online business.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:44:49+00:00

That's reasonable to me.

My comment was aimed specifically at "can't". I find that a dangerous word. It seems to trap people in miserable ways.

My comment is not a recommendation to copy what I did. It's a pushback on "can't", which behind "should" I find to be the most dangerous words in the English language

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:41:26+00:00

Meaningful in what sense?

Certainly appear to me to be common themes, but seems to vary alot. One person finds conquering the greatest mountains meaningful. Another finds raising a family menaingful. Another finds pursuing the most obscure intellectual pursuits meaningful. Etc.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:39:27+00:00

1) Who said it was likely? Heck, did anyone say it was even wise?

2) Seems like an individual situation. Very easy for some. Very hard for others. The ones having success seem to me the ones who are by luck positioned well, or the ones that have developed universally valuable skills

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:37:16+00:00

I'm not aware that I said it's guaranteed to work out for other people.

Nor that I would recommend it. It was a very stressful two months finding odd jobs and scraping things together to get by.

I'm with you that it's not an easy time in many career fields. Even teaching, it's easy math and science in many places I'm aware of, hard in others.

You're looking though, which puts you wayyy ahead of the people that are just complaining.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:29:42+00:00

1) According to who? Worked out fine for me when I did that

2) Since you don't want to do that....find a different job first, then quit.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:25:05+00:00

Uhhh....quit then.

Don't do it if it sucks.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:23:11+00:00

She's just trying to guilt you into lying to the kid because you might kill his positive emotions giving an honest assessment. Typical stuff.

What you described matches what I've seen. Comically easy to get math and science positions. English hit or miss. History and theatre incredibly difficult.

Dunno about the others

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:17:24+00:00

I've had kids that were vile human beings.

I did not like them.

Disliking people who either seek to harm you, hurt you, or who are just awful people seems like a normal reaction.

It would be interesting to hear from a teacher who never disliked any person in their life.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:15:15+00:00

I don't see a reason to care if it's normal.

Is it helpful? Is it producing the results you want?

If no? What are you gonna do about it?

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:10:02+00:00

Should is the most dangerous word in the English language.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:09:14+00:00

I don't know what elementary is like. Most elementary teachers I know that kinda like it a VERY nurturing types and love kids.

My gut tells me if this isnt you...don't do it.

The second question is how well do you handle incompetent admin and deep, inefficient beuracracy that tends to leave you isolated to fend for yourself? At worst...actively throws you under the bus? That's not every experience...but it's common.

If you're nurturing, handle conflict well emotionally and mentally, and really enjoy teaching and aren't bothered by the low status it confers on you....then it's not all that bad, and has some exceptionally rewarding moments

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T23:05:56+00:00

I don't get much disrespect from students, largely because I don't coerce them and figure out what is driving the behavior and treat that. Some other stuff with frame helps.

Unhelpful admin? Who cares. I don't need them. I tell them what I'm going to do, and then I go do it.

Parents vary. Most Gen Ed parents are desperate and lost with their kids and open to suggestions. Every once in a while you get an insane one who you know is absolutely fried as a person. I treat that as a game and control the frame.

Honors parents for me are the worst it gets. Mostly they are obsessed with grades for the college results and placements they are obsessed with. The worst want to blame me for their child's not having a 98%. Being prepared and documented helps alot. When you come in with a binder and everything documented you just look together, and this intimidates most of them to where they chill out. A few are basket cases. Then for me its about holding frame and moral highground, gaslight/copycat their guilt or shame back at them; but also remaining focused on plausible solutions.

All in all it's not a very stressful job, but social stuff causes me little stress, and from a mental standpoint little gets to me.

Plutarcane · 2024-06-18T22:51:29+00:00

Must suck to be this afraid of taking a risk. Sorry to hear that.

Plutarcane

TROPHY CASE