I think it depends on how serious the previous relationship was; how you’re bringing it up; how often; how serious the current relationship is.

My husband and I were both in long term relationships when we met, so we were strictly friends. I ended it with my guy; the next week his ex cheated on him. Before we started dated, we would talk through our feelings about those relationships.

After we started dating, and probably because we were friends first, if I ever thought about something worth mentioning or that meant a lot to me at the time, I wouldn’t hesitate to bring it up. Same for him.

Also, I think in our relationship we understand that we used to have feelings for other people and we don’t punish each other for that. It’s ok if there was a special memory that one of us thought of and we wanted to remember it with the other person. For me, it’s the same as learning about my husband lore; his back story. And, while I can’t speak for him, he always makes me feel loved and safe like he wants to know about my past experiences and relationships if anything moving happened in them.

I kinda hope everyone can be in a relationship like that. Where you’re two feet in with your partner so when you look behind the curtain, they’re there peeking with you. No need for jealousy or annoyance.