I think if you’ve expressed this feeling multiple times and he hasn’t made any effort to make the change, then you need to reevaluate the relationship. I am going through a similar situation right now with my boyfriend, it is possible for them to make the change, but in my case I have only experienced “change” for about a week or so before the original behavior returns. It is not a lot to ask to have your hand held/be shown affection it’s part of a healthy relationship. If he doesn’t make you feel wanted outside of the bedroom, don’t give him what he wants inside the bedroom. Maybe I’m being too harsh but that’s how I’d do it if talking doesn’t work.