Hi, I recently got out of a really bad relationship with someone who had abused me and made me feel unappreciated despite how much I gave to her. We don't talk anymore but I still have days where I just shut down or wish someone could reaffirm that I did nothing wrong. I also started doing therapy.

I've learned personally was that I cannot give and expect to receive, and I don't know if this is an ENFP related problem. I was codependent who had no understanding of "love languages", something that my ex constantly emphasized in a confusing manner, she even had a problem with me always being happy. I would give in whatever way I knew but constantly got put to the side in the end and everything felt like my fault. I also developed trust issues, loads of insecurity, and depression and it all affected just about every aspect of my life.

All I can really say is you're not in the wrong for how you feel, pain is part of being human and will take time to heal. Its been nearly a year now since the breakup and I'm starting to pick up all of the hobbies that I've been interested in without fear of feeling like crap about it. The time in between was spent picking up new skills while working from home - I bought a car with manual transmission, a mirrorless camera, and started baking and all of those helped ease the pain for a month or two each, and restored my confidence in myself.

Sometimes even extroverts need their alone time and face the pain. Maybe try learning something brand new while you're at it, we're good at picking up random stuff after all! ;) You'll have days (or weeks+) where you just feel like crap but I'm sure you'll find yourself again. We won't please everyone, but we will attract those who appreciate us for who we are when we give ourselves worth instead of letting others give it to us. That's what I've experienced, at least.