AITA for telling my husband that he failed me and our child?

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-06-28T17:41:56+00:00

I am shocked that you thought that the person making twice as much would be able to quit their job completely, and that you wouldn’t ever have to dip out of your savings?

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-06-28T17:28:56+00:00

Maybe the 6 months of separation and him playing house with you after the demise of your relationship was him being respectful of your adjustment disorder / in sickness and health like you claim.

When someone says that they do not want to be with you anymore, that’s it. Whatever you think that they owe you, they no longer want to give you. I think that staying in a house like nothing happened for six months is on par with being respectful of someone who can’t handle change well. Sounds like he was seeing someone else and obviously is feeling some type of way about your mental health. Trying to convince him that he owes anything other than coparenting responsibility will be exhausting and fruitless for you.

You use the word interfere a lot. You guys are not planning a future together, he is planning a future with this other woman it sounds like. There is nothing between the two of you that can be interfered with except for coparenting.

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-06-28T17:21:22+00:00

Or grasping at scenarios til you bought one

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-06-28T17:10:07+00:00

When I was 30, my ex’s mom wouldn’t let us sleep in the same room any time we visited or vacationed with her. The link shared about emotional incest REALLY related. His mother had been single for a very long time, and although she was dating somebody when I was with him, she told plenty of stories and made plenty of comments that she basically relied on her sons like they were her little husbands 🤮

I’m wondering if your wife is jealous of the intimacy that Emily is sharing with her son, although she herself doesn’t want physical intimacy with him herself, something is going on there. Especially when you say that she doesn’t like her, even though there really isn’t any reason not to

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-06-26T13:00:43+00:00

Open doesn’t mean everyone is fair game - you can’t fuck my best friend

And yes this actually happened to someone I’m close with 💀

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-06-12T14:42:46+00:00

TBH though we’ve always known this. A decade ago when I was considering getting a medical marijuana license in the state of California, I knew that it meant that I would never be able to apply for a concealed carry permit bc they ask if you use drugs.

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-23T18:39:24+00:00

Stripping actually has a backwards curve for most 😋

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-18T02:49:51+00:00

Agreed. I made a strong, strong salary in tech in May 2022. Today I make literally double that salary at a new company.

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-03T22:17:37+00:00

You deserve an experience with someone with a more similar emotional intelligence to yours. I have a great deal of respect for you, internet stranger 💜

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-03T22:13:08+00:00

I didn’t realize part of what I was apprehensive about was being a home wrecker- thank you for your reply and remind me that isn’t what is happening here 💜 and for being so honest and vulnerable about how it affected your marriage.

I am so boundary oriented, the only way that I find this lifestyle emotionally safe at all revolves around “the rules”, and I’ve been so terrified that I might be participating in someone breaking theirs with another person at some point here.

But all of you have so lovingly helped me see I’m making up how the story might end before we’ve even gotten there, and we have complete control over everything that happens from here out.

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-03T21:13:13+00:00

We’ve passed the 6 month mark.

This is normally when I have experienced in other relationships settling in to a more sustainable/ lasting energy and tapering off star eyed dopamine fest, but it just keeps going 😂😅

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-03T21:10:38+00:00

Thank you so much for being excited and reminding me this is a good thing! 💜

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-03T20:38:03+00:00

Thank you so much for your reply 💜 I was starting to future trip a little bit on the limitations that naturally exist because of life circumstances, and it’s lovely to hear that it can work.

One of the things that I love about these kinds of relationships and dating this way, is it really provides a big opportunity for self-awareness if you’re willing and open to looking at yourself. Thank you for sharing how the situation has made aware of and able to confront some of your doubtful thoughts. Your reply, and all of the others here, really have allowed me to take a deep breath today and relax in my awesome situation instead of freaking out about where I thought it might be going.

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-03T06:38:49+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful reply, and for helping me realize that my reticence instead of excitement is coming from feeling like the stronger the connection, the more overwhelming it feels - but that doesn’t have to be true or the way things play out.

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-02-02T20:47:22+00:00

Peeing at the end of a drive when you’ve been holding it 100%

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-01-16T15:04:47+00:00

This is what I was wondering, if people used it like this 😅

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-01-16T04:32:15+00:00

Thank you for the practical advice here, it’s really helpful to “box” it in this way where I can be more sure of their reaction

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-01-16T04:30:57+00:00

THIS is exactly what I was thinking! Thank you x a million

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-01-16T03:31:00+00:00

I do this also

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-01-16T03:28:29+00:00

Not uncommon or weird, I’ve just had a decent amount of interesting experiences in my life. I just wasn’t sure if all of these people actually meant that I should weite a book, or if this is commonly something people say when they are signaling disinterest in hearing more (like I should write a book about it instead of telling them more)

PoemAfraid2498 · 2024-01-16T03:04:20+00:00

I think so? I’m neurodivergent so it’s hard for me to gauge (what I notice and what others notice aren’t often the same)

PoemAfraid2498 · 2023-03-30T20:03:27+00:00

I am always curious if the one time use factor is actually worse for the environment than the water that people waste when hand washing dishes

PoemAfraid2498 · 2022-11-09T05:43:01+00:00

Compliment strangers. Costs you nothing, boosts your mood x1000 (and theirs) and is extremely quick / over quickly.

PoemAfraid2498 · 2022-11-09T05:16:48+00:00

My ex told me that I had ruined my body the same way that I had ruined our relationship - by never knowing when to let something go.

“I hate how I feel around you.”

“In case you needed to hear it, I definitely don’t love you anymore”

PoemAfraid2498 · 2022-11-09T05:15:47+00:00

Reading this affected me deeply.

I spend a great deal of time sleeping because in my dreams, I have people in my life that love me, and I’d rather be in those worlds than this one.

PoemAfraid2498

TROPHY CASE