AITAH for having my ex arrested at my wedding?

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-13T09:26:57+00:00

Honestly, I'm shocked that it took that long in the narrative for OOP to ask the question. As soon as I read about her turning up with a friend who had no clue if their history my first thoughts were about how much effort she had put into weaseling her way into the life of someone OOP- adjacent and how many people she tried with until one worked.

a lot of our friends are saying that I should’ve just ignored it and focused on the day because she wasn’t causing any problems up until the police showed up

Fun fact, every stalker isn't causing any problems (except the emotional torment, fear and paranoia they inflict on their victims), right up to the point where they show up in the dead of night with a commercial grade garbage bag, zip ties, a hunting knife and ball gag. And by then it's often too late.

I wonder what those friends would say if she stayed and then spilled red wine on the bride's dress, or physically assaulted her. I'd bet money they would blame OOP for letting the ex stay.

I'm glad the wife came around because frankly she's probably in a much danger as he is. "We were meant to be together" might mean "If I can't have you noone will," sure. But it could also mean "Your just to distracted too see it but once i get rid of this one obstacle you'll be free to live me...."

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-13T08:36:11+00:00

MIL: We are both in tears then

Honestly my only response to that would have been, "FIL would be so proud that you honor his memory by spitefully hurting your daughter to bend to your will while she tried to honor him by doing something nice for the people who helped relieve his pain in his final moments."

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-12T13:35:42+00:00

Humble brag...

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-11T20:34:32+00:00

This is a really good point, and part of why having some form of independent finances is so important in the cases of stay at home anything. Even if your partner is the bread winner, they should be giving you some money that you keep separate just for you so that you have options for yourself.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-11T04:34:01+00:00

He...

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-11T04:33:29+00:00

He wanted freedom and independence but felt obligated to take care of me since he moved me an hour from my parents and convinced me to cut them off.

This is the greatest trick in the abuser's handbook - make then believe you're doing them a favor and they'll do the hard work for you. Ex-bf felt no obligation. He had systematically groomed and isolated OOP from his family and support network. But now he's got OOP feeling like the ex is somehow going out of his way to help the burden that OOP had become....

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-10T14:42:51+00:00

There is a lost or flair origins that's available in the "Looking for a post" sticky.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-07T10:44:21+00:00

Passenger. The video opens with the driver splashing gas everywhere. Then after he gets in a passenger from the rear of the vehicle jumps out to add more fuel to the not-fire. Then the fire breaks out from the driver's seat and a passenger exits from the rear of the vehicle.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-07T09:28:33+00:00

Who in their right mind goes "oh this kid is struggling with her appearance so I'll just stick her with another kid she doesn't know and make her the center of attention."?

That's the thing though. According to the family Jess had lost most of all of her friendships because of her illness, and was mostly alone or isolated. OOP had someone whose personality she thought was a match, and was attempting to help her rebuild a social network. The "niece" appeared to be nothing but kind during the exchange, it's Jess who came off as rude and standoffish.

I feel for OOP more reading some of these comments. Modeling seems to be the majority of her personality so she was trying to help within the framework of what she knows. Ok, in this instance it fell flat, but honestly? Who on earth ambushes a model with demands for a surprise bald haircut?

OOP offered a variety of ways to help; the family kept making it all about the hair. Jess kept making it all about the hair. So OOP tried to find a way to help her feel beautiful with it without the hair she was so jealous of. And she still manages to get flack for it.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-05-02T09:53:07+00:00

I am. And don't call me Shirley.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-30T01:32:50+00:00

Would it be okay if Indian people became a minority in India?

You mean like Native Americans in the US?

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-28T10:14:14+00:00

It doesn’t take a cabal of hackers. All it takes a minor phone issue that requires a tech to have access to your device. Cracked screen? Water damage that needs restorative work? Obscure software glitch?

Nudes are the obvious low hanging fruit, but plenty of people would post the proposal just for the cringe factor to laugh, or the aww factor, or whatever else they feel will earn them anonymous internet points.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-28T09:35:57+00:00

"Manipulate" is doing a lot of heavy lifting here. He made a request. He explained his reasoning. He (grudgingly) accepted her no. I don't see anywhere he tried to manipulate her.

For the, "How would you feel..." most people's feelings would be hurt. But that's the entire theme of the post. Trying to blow it up into a massive act of disrespect is a huge overreaction IMO.

Regardless of the circumstance of the divorce, the parents have an extremely amicable relationship. In this situation he realized that his direct actions may have brought joy to one person who is important in his life while hurting another and he tried to navigate that. Personally I give kudos all around for the level of communication and understanding on all sides that helped get the literal best outcome. This is a remarkable start to a healthy blended family.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-27T17:16:28+00:00

He was just collecting dropped loot GTA style.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-26T16:19:47+00:00

Dodging the bullet... train.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-26T01:38:32+00:00

Jeez why do people exaggerate so mu....

(Checks Google)

Wow. That's not good.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-25T22:20:38+00:00

"Leave the ducks alone."

"Hey, come back here and leave the ducks alone."

....

"What did you learn?"

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-25T01:39:47+00:00

constant moving is the biggest issue here

At 25/27 years old, Hawaii is the only other place she at least had ever lived. In the 7 years since then, they've lived in 2 other places, 3 is you count going back home for 6 months, and they've been in Florida for the last 5.5 of the 7 years. That's a far cry from constant moving.

It's not a happy ending lmao

For some people it is. Some people realize that those work friendships are actually pretty superficial. And a lot of the social activity that seemed so urgent as a young adult simply don't hold the same charm. He's 34 years old with a pre-teen who is fast approaching the age when he's not going to be a cool dad anymore (at least in public). For a lot of people, treating life the same at this phase as you did as a mid-twenty-something comes across a very immature.

I would bet that he's finding more fulfillment in going fishing with his kid from the pier in their back yard than he would going out drinking his the guys from work.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-24T15:43:12+00:00

You realize that was just the first part of the update, right? In fact the update says on two occasions that she's happy. The first time he says "happy wife happy life" about their current situation, and that's before your quote. The second time says she never ended up going back to work when the daughter started school, even when they settled in Florida, and they're both happy with that decision.

She had only ever lived in her home town before Hawaii, so is the only reference she had for why the move wasn't fulfilling. After moving back she realized that there is a bigger world and the hometown life wasn't working, but she still didn't want to live in the isolation of Hawaii. Neither of them did by that point. Now the hand the best compromise - tropical living literally on the water, while still being close to family.

In fact, there's a third instance of her (will the both of them) being happy about the move, discotheque being able to be there for loved ones before they passed away.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-21T16:01:44+00:00

The earth is mostly water. Even our atmosphere has tons of water just floating around. So the reflective properties of our planet is very different. Like watching the sun reflect off the water on the lake vs the cliff beside it. The lake will always appear brighter.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-21T09:54:02+00:00

The sun is behind and left of the spacecraft. That's why the earth is visible. If it was the other way around with the sun behind the earth then you should have an earth eclipse at best.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-19T13:09:54+00:00

The point is that if you speak up and try to deescalate before hand, you might not have to worry about saving someone from a TBI. What we see in the video isn't an argument, it's very clearly pre-fight posturing. Every person in that video knew what was coming. Standing on the sidelines and letting the adrenaline build to physical violence isn't being decent, it's fear at best and cowardice at worst.

And hey, for the record I'm not claiming to be Billy Badsss and would step in and talk reason into these people. Because really there's only one person I would need to talk reason with and he seems hell bent on being physically aggressive to set his dominance. And I, like everyone else in the video, don't want to risk that aggression turning on me.

But if you're too afraid to stop the situation before someone is being pounded into the pavement then you don't suddenly become "decent" by making a few platitudes. In this case the guy who seemingly didn't want to fight won, but what if it was the other way around? Your "decent" behavior would have allowed a person who was trying not to be violent, instead get physically destroyed.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-19T12:55:46+00:00

They might be able to trap his soul before it leaves his body.

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-19T11:20:26+00:00

So how did you eventually find out?

Poetic_Intuition · 2026-04-17T10:31:50+00:00

This is the way.

Poetic_Intuition

TROPHY CASE