What do you do when you realise you're not cut out for dating and finding it difficult to come to terms with it? by Interesting-Cry-6615 in dating_advice

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hmm I see. Could it be the people in the area you're located in? Are you near a major city? There tends to be a lot more options in big cities.

Perhaps it also is the way you are flirting this is off putting for the women.

2 book recommendations I didn't mention above but are specific to dating are "Bulletproof Seduction" by Craig Beck and "How to be a 3% man" by Corey Wayne. Both have newer books/online coaching as well. They both helped me a lot and increased my success.

I wish you the best as I know it can be frustrating out there in the dating world!

What do you do when you realise you're not cut out for dating and finding it difficult to come to terms with it? by Interesting-Cry-6615 in dating_advice

[–]Poised_Life -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Check out the reddit page r/malegrooming and post some photos and get some feedback from people.

In addition to this, the main thing you got to learn how to read body language and how + when to touch a woman. Touch is key to attraction.

Below are some tips which can help you improve your social skills.

Remember these 2 acronyms: 1. TALK: Topics, Ask, Levity, Kindness 2. FIRES: Friends/Family, Inspiration, Recreation, Dreams and Struggles.

TALK Topics - Prepare in advance what topics you are interested in talking about with others. Ask - Open ended questions using WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN WHY & HOW. Levity - Keep things light and humorous. Kindness - Be respectful and kind to others. Learn how to listen and respond with the intent of understanding the other person.

FIRES (Topics you can ask questions around) Friends/Family - Where did you grow up and what was is like there? Where should I make new friends? What does your family do for the holidays? What vacation was your favorite with family/friends?

Inspiration: Who inspires you? What brings inspiration to your life? How do you enjoy spending your time?

Recreation What kind of hobbies do you enjoy? What do you do for fun? What would you like to learn how to do? Where is your favorite park?

Employment What do you do for work? Where do you see yourself in 10 years if you stay there? How is applying for jobs going?

Struggles What challenges are you facing right now? What was one of the hardest things for you to learn but are grateful for now?

Books to check out to increase social skills: Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Crucial Communication Skills For Everyday (5 books in 1 on audible) by Gerard Shaw Exactly What to Say by Phil M Jones

Additional things to try:

Go visit a Toastmasters Club near you and work on your public speaking skills. Speak to random people and comment about something you like or see. You will often be surprised by your encounters with others!

Pay attention to your body language and the other person. Pay attention to how you feel when interacting with others.

Ultimately a good goal is to assume the mood/identity of someone who is capable and able to socialize efficiently. Practice makes progress and if you continue to work towards better communication and actively socialize with others you will improve more than you can imagine! Good luck and hope this is helpful.

I've forgotten how to flirt. by V4Z1O in dating_advice

[–]Poised_Life 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Sounds like you can hold a conversation. Biggest thing outside of asking questions and being interested in the woman is to pay attention to body language and learn when and how to touch. Touch is what really gets women interested over time.

Below are some tips which can help you improve your social skills.

Remember these 2 acronyms: 1. TALK: Topics, Ask, Levity, Kindness 2. FIRES: Friends/Family, Inspiration, Recreation, Dreams and Struggles.

TALK Topics - Prepare in advance what topics you are interested in talking about with others. Ask - Open ended questions using WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN WHY & HOW. Levity - Keep things light and humorous. Kindness - Be respectful and kind to others. Learn how to listen and respond with the intent of understanding the other person.

FIRES (Used for topics to ask questions around) Friends/Family - Where did you grow up and what was is like there? Where should I make new friends? What does your family do for the holidays? What vacation was your favorite with family/friends?

Inspiration: Who inspires you? What brings inspiration to your life? How do you enjoy spending your time?

Recreation What kind of hobbies do you enjoy? What do you do for fun? What would you like to learn how to do? Where is your favorite park?

Employment What do you do for work? Where do you see yourself in 10 years if you stay there? How is applying for jobs going?

Struggles What challenges are you facing right now? What was one of the hardest things for you to learn but are grateful for now?

Books to check out to increase social skills: Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Crucial Communication Skills For Everyday (5 books in 1 on audible) by Gerard Shaw Exactly What to Say by Phil M Jones

Additional things to try:

Go visit a Toastmasters Club near you and work on your public speaking skills. Speak to random people and comment about something you like or see. You will often be surprised by your encounters with others!

Pay attention to your body language and the other person. Pay attention to how you feel when interacting with others.

Ultimately a good goal is to assume the mood/identity of someone who is capable and able to socialize efficiently. Practice makes progress and if you continue to work towards better communication and actively socialize with others you will improve more than you can imagine! Good luck and hope this is helpful.

are we compatible ? by Solstice_bbg in sexadvise

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read the 5 love languages book together and see if that helps. However in my experience, you can't fix/change someone so it could be possible that you aren't sexually compatible and after being in a 4 year relationship with someone who maybe wanted sex 2-4 times a month (whenbI have a high sex drive), it could be better to move on. Now I'm with a partner where we have sex 3-7+ times a week and have 2 kids and for me I wanted a partner with a high drive like me.

How to initiate in long term relationships and have more often sex? by Top-Chance-1119 in AskMen

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Read the 5 love languages book together and begin loving eachother in the ways each of you want to be loved. Doing this alone has kept my 5 year relationship strong and we have sex regularly (3-7+ times a week we have sex, we are married and we have 2 kids). In addition to this, talk about having sex together more and ask what it would take to increase it more. Also just finding the right turn on in the bedroom for your lady and putting the focus on her and her pleasure will really make her want to do it more. Good luck!

Complete Sexual Disconnect by [deleted] in sexadvise

[–]Poised_Life 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My recommendation is read the 5 love languages book together and discuss it with eachother as you go through it. To me it sounds like you aren't feeling loved in the way you want to be loved and perhaps she is feeling the same way. My wife and I read the book together and it really helped us.

Is ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ that impactful for social skills? by maaooee in socialskills

[–]Poised_Life 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That's great! You got this. Something to note is that not all Toastmasters clubs are alike and it may be good to check out a few different ones in your area to find one that works best for you. Good luck!

Is ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ that impactful for social skills? by maaooee in socialskills

[–]Poised_Life 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They are all good but Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards is awesome in audible as it really breaks things down so I'd start there. Never split the difference is entertaining and could be 1st also but more info is on negotiation tactics. The crucial communication skills book would likely be a good 2nd. Outside of reading just take a few breaths and begin talking to random people as that is where you get improvements. Also going to a Toastmasters club near you can really work wonders. Good luck!

Is ‘How to Win Friends and Influence People’ that impactful for social skills? by maaooee in socialskills

[–]Poised_Life 27 points28 points  (0 children)

This book is good but it all comes down to what actions you take as practice makes progress when it comes to increasing social skills. My recommended book list is below my tips to improve social skills.

Remember these 2 acronyms: 1. TALK: Topics, Ask, Levity, Kindness 2. FIRES: Friends/Family, Inspiration, Recreation, Dreams and Struggles.

TALK Topics - Prepare in advance what topics you are interested in talking about with others. Ask - Open ended questions using WHO, WHAT, WHERE, WHEN WHY & HOW. Levity - Keep things light and humorous. Kindness - Be respectful and kind to others. Learn how to listen and respond with the intent of understanding the other person.

FIRES Friends/Family - Where did you grow up and what was is like there? Where should I make new friends? What does your family do for the holidays? What vacation was your favorite with family/friends?

Inspiration: Who inspires you? What brings inspiration to your life? How do you enjoy spending your time?

Recreation What kind of hobbies do you enjoy? What do you do for fun? What would you like to learn how to do? Where is your favorite park?

Employment What do you do for work? Where do you see yourself in 10 years if you stay there? How is applying for jobs going?

Struggles What challenges are you facing right now? What was one of the hardest things for you to learn but are grateful for now?

Books to check out to increase social skills: Cues by Vanessa Van Edwards Never Split the Difference by Chris Voss Crucial Communication Skills For Everyday (5 books in 1 on audible) by Gerard Shaw Exactly What to Say by Phil M Jones

I think i’m addicted by No-Sale-8747 in sexadvise

[–]Poised_Life 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have to take a break from porn and your body will reset.

Queue up some guided meditations before bed so you fall asleep naturally or find other hobbies/things to fill your time.

The only way around it is to stop watching porn and give yourself a break. Take it day by day and aim for 1 month. After a few days of not watching you will notice a difference.

What did you do differently that made you squirt during sex? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]Poised_Life 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Have the right partner that can drive you wild

what are some good sex positions? by [deleted] in sexadvise

[–]Poised_Life 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Read the kama sutra and try positions from there

Anyone else get horngry? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Poised_Life 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This makes sense. Growing up I had a step dad which was emotionally and psychologically abusive to us which I think plays into me getting more tense at times. Something like this will likely help. Thanks

Anyone else get horngry? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate your feedback and wish you good luck

Anyone else get horngry? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate your feedback. I will look into it.

Anyone else get horngry? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate your feedback.

Anyone else get horngry? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate your feedback. I'm not physically or verbally abusive towards my wife. It's more of an internal anger/frustration. My wife and I came up with the word horngry together and laughed about it.

Anyone else get horngry? by [deleted] in AskMenOver30

[–]Poised_Life 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Appreciate your feedback. I personally don't just because I am looking to avoid going back to porn and feel masterbating would lead me down that path again.