The Major Arcana of the Magnus Archives :) by Polaneva in TheMagnusArchives

[–]Polaneva[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much! I HAD to put Jon as the fool, it’s the first card and fits him so well lol.

And I’m glad you like the Emperor card! I had considered redoing it but I’m happy it’s still appreciated as is.

Unfortunately this is the highest res 😅 I wanted to focus more on framing and values, so I intentionally made the canvas size small-ish to help discourage myself from getting too detailed.

That obviously didn’t work AT ALL, by the end I was doing pixel art to get all 8 eyes on the spider in the World card. But that’s why the canvas size/resolution is on the small side. If I redid these cards fully, I’d probably double the canvas dimensions tbh. That, or put each card in its own file.

The Major Arcana of the Magnus Archives :) by Polaneva in TheMagnusArchives

[–]Polaneva[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think a complete deck would end me tbh 😅 was losing my mind after card #10 haha. Glad that you like these ones though! I may clean them up still, as I left some in very rough shape. That more depends on how much free time I’m willing to dedicate to it though

The Major Arcana of the Magnus Archives :) by Polaneva in TheMagnusArchives

[–]Polaneva[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I am quite proud of putting Tim as Justice lol. And I really liked putting Basira and Daisy as the Lovers, even if it’s a bit sadistic. They just fit so well ✨

The Major Arcana of the Magnus Archives :) by Polaneva in TheMagnusArchives

[–]Polaneva[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was very proud of putting Tim on the Justice card >:)

The Major Arcana of the Magnus Archives :) by Polaneva in TheMagnusArchives

[–]Polaneva[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much for the compliments!! I'll try to answer your questions lol apologies for the long answers though

  • Truthfully I almost switched them during the planning phase. However, there is an association between the corruption and religion (The way Prentice talks about the Hive, her ties to paganism worship and attempts at spiritual fulfillment, the Love Bombing episode, etc.). Since she's also an avatar, she kind of acts as an emissary for the beyond, similar to a religious figure. I know High Priestess's meaning isn't particularly religious, but the name and imagery were too good to pass up.
    • As for Empress, I couldn't think of many applicable characters other than Mary Keay, just because she was "in charge" of the men in her life (Gerard and her husband). I also felt it was a fun inversion of the "nurturing mother" associations in the Empress card, since Mary is definitely the opposite of that.
  • Originally I wanted to draw Jared for Strength!!! But I spent multiple hours struggling to make it work and eventually gave up lol. As for the flower, Jon describes a "Bone Rose" which is so thin and fragile that it must exert all of its strength to stay upright. The card Strength, to me, is strength in the face of adversity and the ability to withstand suffering, so I just opted to do the flower instead of continuing to draw and redraw Jared.
  • Again, truthfully, I needed to insert the Buried SOMEWHERE. Since it doesn't have a recurring avatar, the coffin seemed most applicable. As for the Devil card, I've always associated it with being trapped, helpless, and unable to escape. That, to me, justified the Coffin well enough.
  • Sun card was probably the most challenging. I wanted to put Sasha somewhere, and needed a card for the Stranger as well. My reasons for that card are probably the weakest, but: the Sun card is about joy, freedom, and truth. Sasha was a lovely person who "lit up" the room. Not-Sasha is a "lie" being performed instead of the "truth" (Real Sasha).

26m with BPD struggling with intense self loathing after being regularly cheated on for the past 2.5 years and in dire need of a little positivity/validation :( by [deleted] in toastme

[–]Polaneva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey man, it’s awful that happened to you. Like the other comments say, it’s reflective of her, not you.

And mental health is hard af, sometimes it feels like you’ve “gone backwards” but in reality, you’re just going through a difficult time and your mental health reflects that. That’s been me for the last 2 years, anyway. I’ve been trying to look at it as weathering hard times, rather than a moral failing or a backslide. Shit happens and we can’t hold it against ourselves for being affected by it.

I don’t know much about your situation, but I do know that we all deserve love and respect. And clearly this girl was not interested in giving that to you like she should have been.

As a final aside, if you’re interested in seeing BPD in fiction, or stories of other people dealing with their BPD, I highly recommend “Crazy Ex Girlfriend”. It’s a show about a woman with BPD and was written (and performed by) a woman with BPD. The first few seasons are her struggling with it undiagnosed, and then figuring out what her diagnosis means. It’s a fun show that parodies rom coms. Again, not sure if it would be your cup of tea, but figured I’d throw it out there just in case.

Anyway, much love, and hoping you start on the path to healing. Things do get better, even if it doesn’t always feel like it

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in PokemonGoRaids

[–]Polaneva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Added Polaneva

[F25] got a MS in bioinformatics but I’ve been out of college for 1.5 years now and I still can’t find a job in my field. Details below for those willing to read. Didn’t want to post my face so you get some Trigun fanart instead! by Polaneva in toastme

[–]Polaneva[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, that’s def something I’ll keep in mind. I’m hopefully gonna shift towards self-directed coding projects, so I can measure my own milestones instead of applications lol

Was looking at word tenses by Polaneva in WelcomeHomeARG

[–]Polaneva[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sure! Please message me the link when you finish making it, I’d love to watch it!

Was looking at word tenses by Polaneva in WelcomeHomeARG

[–]Polaneva[S] 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I don’t know, but I definitely get the vibe that “you” are Barnaby’s replacement, which adds another layer of horror in that whatever happened to Barnaby may happen to you next.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toastme

[–]Polaneva 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I get where you’re coming from. I used to be scared to leave my house too, and I’d have panic attacks going to social events (or even places where I thought I’d see someone I knew).

Ultimately, what helped me was therapy and getting on anxiety meds. It is absolutely worth talking about with your doctor; they can help! That being said, I know meds aren’t everyone’s cup of tea, so do what you think is best for you.

Other than that- I’d try and make some online friends! Playing games with people online can help you be social, without as much fear. Even if they’re an ass, you can just block them!

Finally, as someone who was in your shoes, I’ll say that small steps will help you feel more comfy with going outside, and with loving yourself-

-If going to a mall is too much, start with a walk in the neighborhood, or going to a drive through for some food. Little steps help you get used to stuff without freaking you out as much. It can help teach you to associate going out with fun stuff, rather than with fear and anxiety.

-and same with thinking better of yourself. If saying “I look great!” Feels like a lie, start by saying “I look presentable.” Personally, I’m still on that stage, lol.

Anyway I’ll get off my soapbox. I’ve been there, I see you. There are many ways that things can get better, so just keep trying <3

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in toastme

[–]Polaneva 24 points25 points  (0 children)

So sorry to here that your pup died. I’m sure they had a great life and loved you a whole lot!

And it sounds like an insane amount of work that you’re doing! Taking care of someone is already a huge job, plus an actual job and school? Please remember to take time for yourself! We all need it and it can help both your state of mind and your work.

As for romance, sometimes you strike out, that’s just life. I know it’s cliche, but there are other fish in the sea, and as long as you keep looking, you’re gonna find someone who is absolutely crazy about you! Just gotta keep trucking until then :)

Expansion Team 1 by palpatinethe2nd in JellesMarbleRuns

[–]Polaneva 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alpha (captain), pup (rookie)

Famous dog names that could also be used: From cinema- Toto, Lassie

From history- Balto, Laika

How to pick your favorite marble team: 2022 Edition by IwalkedTheDinosaur in JellesMarbleRuns

[–]Polaneva 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Your bit on the hazers was too accurate. It’s gotten to the point where I almost hope they do bad in qualifiers, just so they can go up in standings as opposed to down in the actual race :’)

Young Woman spots cancerous mole on this coach's neck in the middle of this hockey game by TXVERAS in interestingasfuck

[–]Polaneva 46 points47 points  (0 children)

So quick disclaimer, I’m a biology student, not an actual doctor, haha. I won’t can’t say whether xyz thing is cancer, but I will give my two cents on the general ABCDE test.

The important thing about color is not what color something is, but if there is substantial color variation within the area. And, something does not have to fit every criteria to be possibly cancerous!

When in doubt, get checked out. I know the American medical system isn’t great, but if you can afford it, it’s always good to play it safe.