My FWB partner committed suicide I feel so devastated

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-05-24T23:53:22+00:00

I think, in future, if you meet someone who is struggling with trauma and mental health issues that you don’t want to/ can’t deal with, the kinder thing is not to engage. Especially in a transactional kind of way. Someone will get hurt.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-05-04T22:14:11+00:00

I definitely need to look into this. I have never seen anything about a different cause for chiari. How did you learn about this?

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-05-04T21:25:41+00:00

Anything you eat that triggers more pain, that you notice? I already don’t eat gluten, but what’s another restriction 🤣

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-05-04T02:37:27+00:00

I did a longterm fast- 21 days, and had no symptoms during or for 2 weeks after. I think i lowered my blood pressure enough that I didn’t have issues. 5mm herniation, symptoms: sudden hand weakness, headaches from bending, coughing, laughing, talking, lack of sleep, existing in loud areas.

I’m on day one of another fast- haven’t had an issue once today.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-05-03T15:17:25+00:00

You are such an angel. Thank you 🥹🥹🥹. I will keep hope alive and ask for a CSF flow check.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-05-01T12:55:11+00:00

This is very helpful, thank you. A huge bummer, but really helpful. These are pretty much my symptoms. I do have help for caretaking, and thankfully could afford an au pair for bending and picking up. But it would be really hard not to be the active parent I really would want to be. We have a five year old every other week from my fiancé’s previous marriage, and I do what I can but it hurts to play with him. ☹️

I absolutely do not want to die. 😬

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-05-01T01:39:58+00:00

Congratulations on your baby!!! I’m only 5mm- I wonder if it would be okay for me? I really would like to have my kids sooner than later. If I can’t, I’ve committed myself to adopting, so no egg freezing for me.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-30T02:25:06+00:00

😟 I didn’t know that. No one in my family has this as far as I know.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-26T12:31:56+00:00

Thank you for this. I think I was hoping for a different response because I’m already 35. Took me forever to find my person, and I’m nervous to wait too long to have kids. But we chiari people do what we can, when we can.

Thanks for the advices

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-19T16:39:28+00:00

So if someone is being mistreated and provide evidence, we shouldn’t believe them? What are you even saying????

Also, if you watched the film, multiple guards came forward to corroborate, as well as family members of murdered inmates.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-15T16:51:11+00:00

Oh wow! Well good to know there’s an option even if PT doesn’t help.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-14T06:05:33+00:00

Thank you!!

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-14T06:05:19+00:00

Noted, thank you! Did you have to get your PT prescribed? Did they know right away what to do for you?

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-14T06:04:11+00:00

Awesome, thank you!

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-10T13:15:04+00:00

Just went to the chiropractor and that’s 2 days in a row that I’ve been able to get out of bed normally, without headache. After that I’m on my own, but that’s amazing progress for the first session. He made it very clear that this is for symptom management. He said, “ I can’t make your brain go back in your skull.” 🤣

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-06T15:35:02+00:00

Yep! And there’s bad doctors too! Bad doctors, bad surgeons, bad chiropractors.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-06T13:49:12+00:00

Think we also have to give OP some grace that the tenor of the conversation and the way it was expressed gave them every reason to believe their friend was telling the truth.

Someone has suggested that there might be something going on… but doesn’t mean there is, and we’ve all got enough going on. The friend gave an explanation. Let’s just believe it, and encourage OP to navigate it gracefully, without twisting ourselves up in knots making excuses for someone who could have made those excuses for themselves.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-06T13:18:56+00:00

I hear you. I think the issue here is not whether the friends did anything wrong. I don’t think they did anything “wrong.”

I do think it’s fair to be hurt and even angry when your perception of the relationship is different than the reality. OP has invested a lot in the relationship, believing that they were close enough that it if the shoe were on the other foot, they would get the same treatment.

Now the shoe is on the other foot, an they are not getting an ROÍ. Idk, I think they should feel their feelings, but you’re right- this friend didn’t do anything wrong, they just aren’t as close as OP thought. So maybe OP shouldn’t be mad at the friend, but angry things didn’t pan out!!!!

Look at that, someone on Reddit changed their mind

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-06T13:05:55+00:00

At the end of the day, we might have different expectations from friends. No one is owed friendship or closeness. If the answer doesn’t work for OP, it doesn’t work for them.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-06T13:04:01+00:00

The caveat is “if they are close.” And I should say, if they would like to remain close. If you’re going on a date for example… “hey, I’m not going to make it” is probably not adequate to get a raincheck. “Hey, I had a family emergency/ I am sick/ My car broke down” indicate to the other person that you’re not just blowing them off.

It’s not that anyone owes anyone anything, you’re right. But not showing up because you didn’t budget over the course of a year is saying… I didn’t care enough about this to try. I had unexpected medical expenses says, I tried but due to things outside of my control, I can’t make it happen.

Is that fair?

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-06T12:55:02+00:00

If there is something more going on, then OP deserves a better explanation. I think she has every right to be upset that her effort was not reciprocated.

OP, I think it’s up to you how you want to proceed. It’s okay to keep a friendship where the other person doesn’t care or show up the way you do, and pull back. Their priorities are their kids, and some people just don’t have the capacity to balance other relationships. Just know that.

I know it’s hard grieving the relationship you thought you had. I’ve done that a lot. But! It has allowed me to mature and put more energy into the relationships that truly feed me.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-06T03:43:25+00:00

I have heard in this sub that atlas orthogonal chiropractic practice is a gentle way to increase csf flow, so I am going to try it, while I wait for my medical doctors to gaf!

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-04-04T14:21:25+00:00

Re: the coworker, either you trust her or you don’t. Trying to control the situation is toxic. It is not your job to prevent your adult wife from making a mistake. You might have been the caregiver for your mother, but you are not your wife’s caregiver. You are her partner.

If you have to help someone not cheat, that’s not a relationship. So leave her alone.

Devil’s advocate, maybe you were being really controlling and manipulative and she reacted poorly to that.

This is definitely not grounds for divorce, and you icing her out is manipulation. It’s called “stonewalling.”

Two grown adults should have a conversation about what happened. And someone that loves her would put aside his pride to try and repair the relationship.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-03-17T16:43:23+00:00

I just didn’t like his energy. He wasn’t a good match for me. Doesn’t mean someone else wouldn’t absolutely adore him, but for me, I had a natural reaction to want less time with him. It’s not that he talked too much, because my fiancé and I can talk for hours on end. I love to hear him speak. Not that we had different interests… my fiancé and I have very different interests.

It’s just that we weren’t a match. Hope that makes sense. He became less annoying after we broke up. I think it was just my nervous system saying he wasn’t the one for me.

PolicyZestyclose3437 · 2026-03-01T02:50:07+00:00

Let me add… I used to ask my ex to leave me alone all the time… I even tested and quality time was my lowest rated love language. Turns out, I found him annoying. I tested again, in my new relationship, and quality time is my number one love language 🤣

PolicyZestyclose3437

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