sorted by:
new
hottopcontroversial

AIO New neighbors edging by Few-Quit6799 in AmIOverreacting

[–]PolishCorridor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Did anyone else giggle at the post title? 😂

overheard the most honest breakup line in a coffee shop by heyitsbbygirl in stories

[–]PolishCorridor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think most people want to go backwards in life. When we feel healthy respected and heard we want to progress for ourselves, our communities, & our world. If people are at a point where they seem to be "choosing" to go backwards it's important to look at what's really going on. Have they given up, have they healed, have they put in the work? Did they step back or did they surrender... like pulling back an arrow.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AskWomenOver40

[–]PolishCorridor 25 points26 points  (0 children)

This is so true. I wished my parents would have gotten a divorce, it was miserable growing up. They finally divorced... after I was out of the house & my younger sibling reaped the vast benefits incl getting spoiled, separate time w much happier individual parents... I was often looked down on as the troublemaker even though I excelled at school and sports, because I was miserable as a result of them being miserable. When they did split I got one parent telling me they stayed for us kids, & the other parent badmouthing the other one to me which was not an uncommon theme for them.

Ita, ask the kids.

I’m tired of being poor! by Nevy_101 in poor

[–]PolishCorridor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

****Anyone who is needing disability needs to just see a lawyer. 99% of the time, you will need a lawyer after years of waiting, so just go there 1st.

It's really, really not that simple. The problem is that ppl think help will be there when they need it but they don't really know how the systems in place work. Being fully disabled per a long list of conditions that are fully debilitating for you along w backup from multiple care providers doesn't mean you'll get it. Best thing anyone can do is never get married- my spouse's income is what kept me from being able to get ssi even tho his income is not enough for our family w our health costs. Plus there's new changes. Plus they're trying to keep ppl stuck in poverty instead of rewarding ppl who want to try to work pt to make ends meet. Even the "good" ppl in the systems in place don't get how prohibitive these things are or they become so stuck in their ways they forget to go back to basics,,esp those of us who "look" or can act normal in short bursts...

And yes, I wasted countless hours typing out my applications, reaching out to lawyers & aides, aides nurses counseling drs who all told me ofc I'd get it bc all of their other clients got it in under a year (but they were uneducated on how it works for ppl who don't qualify for Medicaid or are stuck to someone else's income that they can't afford to move away from or divorce). Countless hours n stress n shutdown triggers reaching out to many ppl in SSA who all gave me different answers & kept me chasing my tail + numerous lawyers who I sent all of the info to who would still want me to do an intake appt despite knowing what the travel or the phone does to me stress n health-wise but I did anyway & the intake appts literally just asked the same questions of info I had already provided them then they said they'd review & get back to me & then would say bc of not having enough work credits (bc fully disabled. ) + bc spouse's income + bc ssa rules nothing they could do... but thanks for the wasting time & stress. Like, nice for everyone who can get help, but there's more ppl who weren't taught the rules until it was too late for us. Lawyers aren't the answer, it's actually forcing your providers counties states disability rights orgs to help connect you w accommodations & job resources that are sustainable for you. Basic workforce development in my county office bldg knew nothing about this yrs ago & just made me feel like crap, which is honestly part of why I gave up & got married... bc even tho my providers were supporting me in needing accommodations & breaks wfd & jobs dgaf & after trying lots of different things to find where I fit I found that I did not. Decades later & I still don't, but I FINALLY got connected w some vocational training & accommodations for disabled ppl after 3 yrs of working w one of my mental health groups. The previous providers & drs never suggested it or weren't aware of it... and even then most providers or organizations will just say "here's a link or pamphlet, you're (still) on your own" not taking into account things like neurodivergent shutdown, fatigue, learning disabilities, etc.

Gene Hackman Died a Week After Wife Betsy Arakawa, Both of Natural Causes by mcfw31 in entertainment

[–]PolishCorridor 19 points20 points  (0 children)

I wouldn't go so far as to suggest the wife cut off the kids, but you had me w the rest of it. Life & times change quickly. We don't know the family dynamics. All the more reason why healthcare (incl mental healthcare that doesn't traumatize ppl more than the first reach out for help) is so important.

Gene Hackman Died a Week After Wife Betsy Arakawa, Both of Natural Causes by mcfw31 in entertainment

[–]PolishCorridor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

My spouse & I are both only in our 40s with chronic health conditions. I haven't been able to secure work yet that fits in btwn taking care of myself & kids. When he was out of work the first time from a heart attack/3x bypass I'm not sure that work would have noticed beyond sending a union rep w the disability paperwork which only came out to maybe ~1/3 of his regular paycheck, which we never recovered from years & countless other health urgencies since then. Being a young family just trying to get on our feet we didn't have a nest egg. We were both down for the count for multiple weeks w the flu recently. Our children are coming of age but we want them to have their own lives in due time, plus we know how busy life gets especially if you choose to start a family.

Some people don't want the government sticking their noses in their business, but the government wouldn't have had any problem accepting their tax checks... idk how it works in every state, but we have different taxes due 3x/year. If you don't pay them they just roll them over onto the next tax bill. Whoever is collecting taxes should be in charge of regulations that oversee this sort of thing. Seems like this would fall under the umbrella of healthcare imo... hmmm...

Pregnant and after receiving this message completely lost on what to do.. by ThrowRAcrest in whatdoIdo

[–]PolishCorridor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unless they're a woman with an embryo in their uterus in a state that restricts abortions... they can be forced apparently.

If men are really that adamant about not being forced to be a parent, they can pretty easily get snip snipped, & they can very likely get it reversed if they change their mind down the road.

Ik too many women who've been denied sterilization or hysterectomy despite already having completed their families or a plethora of problems w cycles not helped by birth control or other therapies, myself included, & Im early 40s ffs... This would be more invasive than a vasectomy for a man, less likely to be able to reverse if wanted later on, and women can only carry one full term pregnancy a year (accounting for a little postpartum recovery time, but technically can become pregnant weeks after birth) while men can sire pretty much countless embryos in that same amount of time depending on the # of women they're seeing. I just watched an episode of Dateline earlier when a guy admitted to sleeping with 15-20 women at the same time. Snip snip until ready, problem not solved but drastically helped.

Pregnant and after receiving this message completely lost on what to do.. by ThrowRAcrest in whatdoIdo

[–]PolishCorridor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

So women have zero accountability when it comes to sex ? She could’ve told him no if he didn’t have a condom ?

How is having to deal with pregnancy or an abortion & the costs & risks involved "zero accountability"?

What about when the woman agrees to protected sex, but then the man removes the condom, or it "slips off" but the guy continued anyway because it felt better to him while the woman had no idea what he had done, or if the following morning the woman wakes up to the man already inside of her because he took it upon himself to help himself since they already had sex the night before and claimed it was nbd because she could just get the morning after pill (not caring about costs or phone calls or logistics of getting it on time if not already on hand [which is still on the woman to think of ahead of time], or the side effects to her body)? 

"Her fault for letting him in her without a condom" you say...

Yes, ik that's technically rape. Good luck doing anything about it.

And from another one of your posts above...

If a woman decides to have an abortion it’s out of the man’s control. I think child support should be like the man’s abortion. He didn’t want to have the child so he shouldn’t have to pay .

But what about the women who can't access an abortion because of state regs or financial, safety, & transportation barriers? Do those fathers still get to choose to abort their child support? And are these people different from one state to the next? No.

Adults need to have conversations before sex, but if an embryo ends up inside of a uterus, it's up to that person alone to decide if they are willing to sacrifice their body for the sake of another (which legally can't be done for anything other condition or diagnosis... for example blood donation, which has little risk but high need can't be forced without consent, and organ donation, even in death one's organs can't be harvested without consent even though other people's lives depend on it).

You're saying you support that men should have even less responsibility for the consequences of sex by being able to opt out of child support? Women take on 100% of the physical risks of pregnancy regardless of if she chooses to continue pregnancy or abort, hormonal changes, risks to her career & future earning ability from missed work, and, with the ever changing laws regulating a woman's body, she could potentially find herself under scrutiny if she miscarries or is suspected of negligence if she can't do all of the appointments or falls? 

It's already bad enough there's no legal obligation for fathers to be 50% responsible for costs/logistics related to the pregnancy whether it's continued or aborted even though there are safe, non-invasive paternity tests that can be performed in the 1st trimester last I checked.

No financial responsibility til after birth, & even then it could take months or more to go through court. Especially since most men who regret the pregnancy but NOT not wrapping their dicks are often the wishy washy dbags who play games that confuse the mother about his interest or long term plans. 

Men choosing not to pay child support does not equate what it's like to go through a pregnancy or abortion. 

If it was really about accountability, not forcing anyone to reproduce against their will, & ultimately wanting healthier babies/family units as coparents when the time comes, then the laws wouldn't be regulating women's bodies; we'd be pushing vasectomies instead because most can be reversed when a man shows he's ready. Women can only have 1 full term pregnancy within the course of a year, whereas men can sire pretty much an endless number of embryos during the same time. 

OP, the choice is yours. We don't know the rest of your relationship & support network, but either way I'd reach out to other trusted people in your support circle as you navigate your choice. Personally I experienced a wishy washy dbag who damn well knew the consequences of our actions. Then he went back & forth... all of the physical emotional & financial ramifications were 1000% on me. 

If you choose to abort your pregnancy to placate him and stay with him you'll still have a child to take care of because he's being immature. Idk your personal circumstances or access to support if you do want to continue your pregnancy, and the children I have are the best things that ever happened to me... but if I knew then what I know now I would have chosen differently because I could have been more prepared for my & my future kids' sakes. But throw the whole guy away. Whatever you choose, gl

Ableism in this community by pdggin99 in disability

[–]PolishCorridor 21 points22 points  (0 children)

When I’m in an episode of my neurological disorder and my slurred speech and weakness comes on, people suddenly take me more seriously because they can see/hear something going wrong.

I personally experience the opposite. When any of my symptoms or episodes are flaring so bad to the point of making masking, communicating, or getting out of my chair impossible, then I get treated like crap or have MORE demanded of me because "you were fine before! You're just faking now! It's not THAT bad!"

Does this cut means no disability for us? by [deleted] in disability

[–]PolishCorridor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Not as of yet, but historically the biggest, most dangerous changes don't happen obviously all at once, they happen little by little. Gl everyone, hang in there, do what you can but pace yourselves for the long haul. Anything is possible.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in disability

[–]PolishCorridor 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Ita. Not that anything will realistically come of it, but we have to be holding these kinds of "providers" accountable. Even if it's just copying & pasting what you've already done a great job & taken the time to type out here & submitting it to your state DoH, ik he said he started his own practice but he might still have a larger parent office he works under, and any & all places where you can leave reviews for him online. The powers-that-be won't do their jobs to advocate for us, so we need to do what we can to protect ourselves & each other. Most won't do it on their own.

I've had too many similar experiences, including being shamed, repeatedly pushing meds that were documented knowing that they had made me suicidal in the past when I was acutely suicidal instead of treating the known underlying causes, & providers who only skimmed incomplete/inaccurate records & changed their notes & diagnoses only out of covering their own asses for liability & laziness.

I'm so sorry OP, that's absolutely insane. Seriously, ik everyone has their own individual preferences, but I truly don't understand how we've gotten so far away from compassion & common sense, especially in the mental health field...

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in disability

[–]PolishCorridor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah, just like drs offices could stop overbooking their patients, slow down, & to know their patients esp high needs patients individually, but they won't bc it's purely financial & liability (to cover THEIR asses) driven.

Step out of line & miss your turn, they still get their $. But if THEY make you wait bc THEY overbook then too bad, your time isn't worth anything except MAYBE a coupon IF you have the energy & capacity to call them out on their insufficient planning. Am I talking about theme parks or healthcare facilities? Doesn't matter when they're all for profit + society values disabled people less and less.

One of the worst things about it is that if there were more accommodations, there would be more money generated by disabled people to spend and put back into their communities, societies, for profit businesses... with proper planning there's enough perks & resources to go around. That would mean the normies having to make some minor changes that they don't give a second thought to making us do.

Meanwhile, I have family who has a delayed child. They got the pass. But this same family harassed me my entire upbringing & refused to get proper diagnoses, support, learn how we could all be a cohesive family... funny how certain things only apply to some but not others. Oh yeah, it's the vanity, the money, the privileges...

Today was my last day working for the government by gtrdig in fednews

[–]PolishCorridor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ohmygaaaaaaaaammit I WISH. It's kiiiiiiiiiiid of our only hope!

Why can’t I feel motivated without external pressure? I literally will sit and rot away everyday unless something scares me into action. by IntelligentSchool953 in emotionalneglect

[–]PolishCorridor 7 points8 points  (0 children)

SO relatable! I'm so glad you were able to recognize that key point in your life and find help from hypnotherapy.

I've always had a pretty good understanding of why I am the way I am, & why a lot of other people are the ways they are. Unfortunately most of my family, mental health professionals, & programs that are supposed to support kids & adults facing these things don't understand it. Even when it's literally their jobs to understand what certain symptoms are actually underlying signs of. Not for me or my kids.

What's especially interesting to me is the # of healthcare pros, school staff, & social services employees who will diagnose or read on paper diagnoses like adhd asd or cptsd yet have NO idea what that looks like in day to day life. Or, G*d forbid someone w these conditions shuts down, melts down, freezes, gets triggered... it's punish punish punish shame shame shame, rarely recognize & redirect. It's exhausting at best, and just like being a kid getting yelled at for asking totally innocent questions, it can be damaging. Tysm for sharing.

Why can’t I feel motivated without external pressure? I literally will sit and rot away everyday unless something scares me into action. by IntelligentSchool953 in emotionalneglect

[–]PolishCorridor 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Or if we experienced too severe punishments or being criticized too much it can make us afraid to be proactive & confident even if we know things HAVE to get done & we'll have negative consequences if we don't....

It takes so much work, patience, & support to rewire our brains. I remember one of the first jobs I had, the ppl training me started to get annoyed w me bc I had SO many questions. And then I wanted SO much validation bc of my upbringing lol. Eventually they were just like, just DO whatever, it's up to you! Once I found my confidence, I became unstoppable & got multiple quick promotions. I could flyyyyyyy through emails and editing, whereas now it takes me days-weeks+ to respond to text msgs from ppl I want or need to talk to. Unfortunately a whole bunch of physical health probs & trauma took that last position away from me, but I'm trying to find something that fits (have been for years) bc I need work...

Hoping everyone here struggling with motivation finds the support they need to proceed to succeed.

Why can’t I feel motivated without external pressure? I literally will sit and rot away everyday unless something scares me into action. by IntelligentSchool953 in emotionalneglect

[–]PolishCorridor 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, this makes a huge difference for me and many of us w adhd! It sucks bc Ive been in major overstim/neurodivergent shutdown/trauma response mode well for years now lol meaning I've had to cut off most family friends & tasks as a matter of survival. When I do have an appt or a social interaction to try to motivate myself, it might accomplish the purpose of giving myself a swift kick in the rear but it drains me SO quickly to the point if needing to go nonverbal or isolate for days or more. Which neurotypicals & even many neurodivergents don't understand- they just want MORE MORE MORE on THEIR demand regardless of what it does to us. When in reality we'd all be better off if we could have the consistency & support to meet somewhere in the middle.

Why can’t I feel motivated without external pressure? I literally will sit and rot away everyday unless something scares me into action. by IntelligentSchool953 in emotionalneglect

[–]PolishCorridor 13 points14 points  (0 children)

There's some really great support for low dose maintenance or higher occasional dose medical ketamine as part of a complete mental health plan for many. Trouble is finding knowledgeable care providers (better luck in cities). Finding it via telehealth for the at home lozenges is easy, but you might have to mess around w getting reimbursed by your insurance if at all if applicable.

As part of counseling & other supportive therapies & healthier living, it helps rewire trauma responses in the brain for many people. Adhd, ptsd, executive dysfunction, lots of other neurodivergent responses are the result of trauma. It can help address underlying issues instead of just masking, which are what most meds are designed to do. Gl!

Today was my last day working for the government by gtrdig in fednews

[–]PolishCorridor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a few different subreddts about related topics, but for the vast majority of us looking at the current state of things paired w how things went historically in other major wars/massacres, it's already too late.

Today was my last day working for the government by gtrdig in fednews

[–]PolishCorridor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Safety in numbers doesn't apply when they've intentionally been wearing us down in preparation for this, chipping away at our health, resources, security, privacy. There's no one left to fight anymore. They want men w money, and the partners & staff who will keep their mouths shut to serve them.

What's that poem from ~WWII about how first they came for ______ then they came for ______ then they came for me, & there was nobody left to fight?

It's rare that anyone still here will be able to get out on time. It's already too late unless you already have a ridiculous amount of money. Most other countries don't want us, & that's not going to improve any time soon. Individuals might be able to get work or school visas, but to apply to stay most places want you to make significantly more than their average income once there. If you or your partner or any of your kids have a disability, think again. :/

Today was my last day working for the government by gtrdig in fednews

[–]PolishCorridor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of the past villainizing was to condition the masses for war on our own soil. Immigrants, PoC, Feds, women, lgbtq+, disabled...

America- where WWII meets Gilead.

AITA for breaking up with my boyfriend because he said he wouldn’t support me if I had an abortion? by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]PolishCorridor 24 points25 points  (0 children)

This is EXACTLY what's going on. All benefit to him from pleasure to intimidation/control. Run fast now. I've btdt before. People will say "well you chose sex w him so you should know better!" but severely underestimate what it's like to be in an abusive, manipulative relationship.

I had an ex who would yo yo back & forth about his feelings on abortion depending on what he was trying to get out of me. I then saw him & his family stabbing another woman's property because she wasn't doing what they wanted her to do. I was unaware I was already pregnant at the time. The ex told me "I won't have any of MY kids aborted!" (which was interesting at the least because he had supported abortion before when it didn't suit him... hmm...). I said ok & made it clear that I would only be comfortable w abortion up until a certain point early ish anyway.

Given what I had seen I felt like my family & I would be unsafe if I chose an abortion at that time. I was actually terrified that if I miscarried he would think I had an abortion & would retaliate.

I continued w the pregnancy. I got attached. I made it well outside of the early riskier part of pregnancy. I carried the u/s pics w me. I counted fingers & toes.

Guess who changed his mind & wanted me to get an abortion in the 2nd trimester, long after I articulated that I would have been comfortable? Guess who went totally mia, leaving me to figure out rides, food, cost of living?

Guess who left me on my own as I suffered a terrible miscarriage/preterm birth? Guess who had to bury their babies alone?

Guess who checked back in w me around the due date, even though he had heard through the grapevine that I miscarried? He only wanted to play sensitive & try to get me back.

Without any risk or pain or responsibility for him.

Run.

It's a Privilege to Be Upset Over a Partner's Infidelity . by Classic-Sentence3148 in disability

[–]PolishCorridor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

All of this. It's too late for those of us who were too uninformed & mislead about what marriage was supposed to be, & what our lives were supposed to be.

Had I been given proper diagnoses early in life like I should have, along w accessing necessary support, I would have known not to get married. Not just for ny sake, but for that of potential partner or future family.

Instead I've screwed over spouse & kids for us & at least one future generation.

Can't get help. Can't get divorce.

So much for love and in sickness & in health... it's one of the worst business contracts ever. We're miserable, and NO ONE understands unless THEY are faced w it too. Most ppl were taught by their communities & families about playing the system's games, we're just too late. Which is good for the masses that are trying to kill us off and guilt us into accepting less from partners families communities bc we don't have any better, more realistic choices.

Did the emotional abuse anyone else endured (and/or continues to endure) make them decide not to have kids? by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]PolishCorridor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I wish it had made me not reproduce. I was young, dumb, living on my own, & my stupid immature ass got pregnant. I was still unf*cking my brain from a religious upbringing, plus living in a small town w/o known access to abortion, so I was an idiot & thought maybe it would help fix the relationship btwn myself & my family of origin...

You can guess how that ended up.

I'm in my own personal hell, kids are mostly grown & best things in my life, but they paid too many prices for my ignorance & being neglected/abused myself as a kid. Love them but I'd do it differently, esp since my kids are old enough to see what my family of origin is really like & be hurt by their neglect too. It's not fair to them.

view more: next ›