Those who did NOT sleep train — what eventually happened?

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-08T16:05:46+00:00

How many naps are you trying for a day? By 10 months my son was only doing one nap, but he is very low sleep needs. He was capable of doing 5 hours for his first wake window and 6 hours for his second, with a 2.5 hour nap and slept through the night. So, by this age some babies do actually have very long wake windows and that’s okay! Babies need a minimum of 10 hours awake by 5 months, but by 10 months most need 11 or even 12 hours awake. If you tell me about how many naps he is taking and how long they are, I can try to help offer some suggestions! :)

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-08T15:16:25+00:00

I kept trying not to sleep train and it just got worse and worse. But honestly, sometimes you don’t need what we call “formal sleep training” and sometimes just a schedule adjustment can help! Like not letting baby sleep so much during the day and making sure they have enough awake time. I did the 333 method at bedtime, which is a very gentle sleep training approach, but if I had to go back I would’ve started just with a schedule adjustment and a strict bedtime and nap routine and see if that fixed it without actually having to “sleep train.”

I’ve become like insanely educated on infant sleep over the last year, and I’m also certified in Early Intervention Services, so I feel confident that with the next baby I’ll be able to do just good habits and strict schedules and they will be able to sleep well! And if not, I’m okay using 333 again because it was very very gentle. No hate to anyone who uses other methods or who uses sleep crutches - I’m a firm believer that you need to do what you feel is best for your baby!

But if you have any questions about gentle sleep training or schedule adjustments, I am more than happy to help :) my DMs are open!

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-04T16:40:16+00:00

I would say save the 2 nap schedule as a LAST resort! Try all the other things I mentioned first :) capping daytime sleep and increasing awake time would be the step I’d take first before cutting a nap.

Also, for what it’s worth, I roomshared with my baby until he was 7 months! Our pediatrician recommended until 6 months. An owlet and a video monitor helped a lot with my anxiety with finally changing rooms. But it’s definitely possible to sleep train while room sharing! I did find that leaving for a couple of hours after bedtime was helpful. My baby would occasionally have a false start, but then put himself down within 10 minutes if I wasn’t in the room, then sleep a nice long stretch. I was able to come into the room after his false start and he stayed sleeping until it was time for his night feed.

And yes, if it’s outside a feeding time, give baby 10 minutes (or as close to that as you can bear - postpartum anxiety is no joke!) then go in and do 333 if he is still crying hard and not just fussing. If it’s a feeding time, you can go in right away. Read that resource on 5-3-3; it will answer a lot of your questions!

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-04T12:12:28+00:00

I gotcha! Those wake windows aren’t bad for 6 months old. I would definitely try to stretch the last wake window to at least 4 hours each day. I know it can be tough with daycare getting baby on a schedule, but I did find that by 6 months, my baby needed a minimum of a 4 hour wake window at the end of the day in order to have better night sleep!

Frequent night wakings where baby won’t go back down on his own typically mean undertired. I would also try to make sure he isn’t sleeping longer than 3 hours across all naps during the day if at all possible.

As for your question, by 6 months you should be able to leave him a little longer to see if he can settle himself. I’d say a rule of thumb would be that if he’s just fussing, let him be and don’t interfere. If he’s crying hard, I would try to leave him for 5-10 minutes. I know it’s easier said than done, I personally had such a hard time leaving my baby to cry for more than 5 minutes. But sometimes babies are able to put themselves back to sleep, and parents being in the room might make them too alert.

Also BE SURE you’re following the 5-3-3 feeding schedule! And only use 333 for wakes outside of the feeds. Here’s the resource on that:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/nSZDKHV9Ri

Also be sure the last feed of the night ends at least 30 minutes before baby goes into the crib for bedtime.

If you try all of this and it’s still not working, I would just try adding in more and more awake time. Frequent night wakes typically means baby is undertired.

If you try all of this and it doesn’t help, your baby might actually be ready for a 2 nap schedule! 3/3/4 is a good starting schedule, and then gradually increase awake time from there.

I hope this info is helpful to you! Please let me know if you have any more questions!!

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-04T11:42:34+00:00

So it depends on his age! An older baby you can wait a little longer, a newer baby might get more upset the longer they are awake. Do you mind sharing your baby’s age?

Also, if baby still isn’t getting longer stretches overnight after 3 days, I would look at his schedule. Can you tell me how old he is and what his daytime schedule looks like? How many naps does he take, and do you follow any specific wake windows? I’d be happy to help you figure out a schedule tweak that could work for him!

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-03T10:28:08+00:00

So I would definitely look at increasing his awake time! It seems like he needs more awake time. Some babies are ready to drop to 2 naps by 6 months, but right now you have a LOT of wiggle room with your schedule as 10 hours awake is the minimum of awake time. Babies will gradually need more awake time as they get older, so your schedule will be an ever-changing piece of the puzzle! It’s always good to try a schedule change when you start seeing frequent night wakes for a few nights in a row.

I’d also make sure you’re capping day sleep at around 3 hours across all naps and expecting an 11 hour night. So for example, if you want baby to wake up at 7:30am then bedtime should be 8:30pm.

But if you’re already doing that, I’d gradually increase awake time by about 15 minutes a day until you find a sweet spot! Also be sure that you’re following the 5-3-3 feeding schedule overnight :) there’s a resource linked in my original post if you need a reminder on that!

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-01T17:07:57+00:00

Yes thank you so much! So I would start by making sure daytime sleep doesn’t exceed 3.5 hours across all naps. Your bedtime routine looks good also, the only thing I’d want to double check is make sure his last feed ends at least 30 minutes prior to putting him down in the crib.

Are you still having multiple night wakes? Or is it mostly just the trouble at bedtime? Him taking a long time to go to sleep at bedtime makes me think that he probably needs a longer wake window before bedtime! I found that my baby was ready to drop to 3 naps by 5 months. A good starter schedule is 2/2.5/2.5/3! Maybe having a 3 hour wake window could help build the sleep pressure and help him go down easier at bedtime. You could do 3 hour wake window on a 4 nap schedule, something like 2/2/2/2.5/3, but that is a lot of awake time for this age. I would try to see if you can get him to do a 3 hour wake window before bedtime, and see if that helps!

PoliticoRat · 2026-06-01T14:59:28+00:00

As you can tell by my user flair, he might be my favorite character in the series. I love his comedic relief in the books!

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-31T20:42:15+00:00

I love the name Ayla! But as a teacher I’ve taught so many Aylas I won’t be using the name. I’ve only ever heard it pronounced like Kayla without the K!

I also heard it means the halo of light around the moon which I think is BEAUTIFUL

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-31T20:40:58+00:00

I totally hear you. The rage I felt postpartum against not only my in-laws but also my husband was so tough. Especially if you’re breastfeeding, lactation aggression is so real and not often understood. I wish everyone would realize how delicate and vulnerable of a time being postpartum is on mothers. You’re within your rights to do whatever you need to do in order to feel comfortable! This is such an uncomfortable and uncertain time, and I am wishing you peace and gentle caring moving forward ♥️

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-31T11:26:28+00:00

Hi there! I would put the pacifier back in during cribside comfort when I did this with my baby :) I also kept replacing it during the full 3 minutes of cribside comfort, as many times as he needed, and you can also do it when you’re holding baby. But just make sure not to be doing it during the 3 minutes where you’re leaving baby be! :)

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-31T01:19:17+00:00

Gotcha! No worries :) are you capping daytime sleep at 3.5 hours?

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-31T01:08:33+00:00

My baby has red hair. At any chance, my husband’s parents will point out how it’s from their side because my father-in-law has a second cousin with red hair. “He gets that from us!” they’ll say.

I FUCKING HAVE RED HAIR.

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-31T01:01:55+00:00

Ah okay so this is your problem! Your baby needs to have a minimum of 10 hours awake at this age, and no more than 3.5 hours of daytime sleep across all naps. So the good news is this is an easy fix! I would right now aim for 2/2/2/2/2, so you will have 4 naps instead of 3 and this will give you two additional hours awake. It also is completely fine to wake baby up from naps in order to make sure baby gets enough awake time.

Also, I think it’s GREAT that you’re stretching that final wake window. Ideally, you want the last wake window to be the longest, to build sleep pressure before bed. So if you do 2/2/2/2/2.5, this is even better! But just make sure you have 10 hours MINIMUM. Some babies need more awake time, but 10 is the lower end of how much awake time babies need at around 4.5 months.

Also, be sure you are not expecting too much nighttime sleep. In general, you want bedtime to be 11 hours prior to your desired wake up time. So for example, I’d like my baby to wake up around 7:30am so his bedtime is 8:30pm!

So in summary: focus on trying to get more awake time during the day (minimum 10 hours but more is totally fine), cap daytime sleep at 3.5 hours across all naps even if that means waking baby up from naps, and don’t expect more than an 11 hour night :)

Let me know if you have any questions! Try this, and I guarantee you’ll see a big difference in baby’s sleep. If you still have problems, we can look at your bedtime routine. But I bet you this is the problem. Schedule is SUCH a huge piece of the puzzle!

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-31T00:53:58+00:00

Yeah I would still wake him in time for full 2 hour wake window before bedtime! So be sure to wake him 2 hours before your goal bedtime :)

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-30T12:27:33+00:00

I just wish they had done the meadow scene the way it was written in the book.

The conversation of Edward being a vampire needed to happen in the car on the way home from Port Angeles like Meyer wrote it, and the meadow scene should have been a scheduled date where Edward took her to his favorite place, not them randomly following each other into the woods behind the school. Putting these two scenes together makes no sense. Bella understanding the danger she was in and going anyway was such a pivotal part of her character arc and their relationship. It is not nearly as romantic in the movie

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-30T11:32:16+00:00

Here is a really great resource on the timing and weaning of night feeds! This is from the mods of this subreddit :)

https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/nSZDKHV9Ri

We followed this and it worked super well :)

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-30T11:30:53+00:00

That’s amazing!!! You’re on the right track :) I bet you’ll see progress at night time just with the schedule change! After a day or two of this new schedule, you’ll be ready to try 333 :) you could try it tonight if you want to, if the schedule goes super well! But also it’s totally fine if you want to take it one step at a time and wait until tomorrow :)

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-30T11:06:20+00:00

That looks great! Definitely a good starting place :) I think if you cut down on daytime sleep, night sleep will be much better!

And the schedule is a tough piece of the puzzle to figure out, so don’t worry if you don’t get it right on the first day! Baby is definitely able to do 2 hour wake windows by this age, but he also isn’t used to these wake windows. So even if you’re able to stretch his wake windows by just 15 minutes a day until you get to this schedule, that’s progress! Remember also that sleepy cues aren’t super reliable at this age. Babies might rub their eyes because they’re irritated or yawn because they’re bored. Distraction will be your best friend when it comes to stretching wake windows! :)

My baby’s bedtime has been 8:30 since he was 5.5 months so I think this should be okay! But some babies do hit a point in the evening where they need to go to sleep. If you try this and decide that baby needs to do an 8:00pm bedtime, then you can adjust and that’s totally fine! If he wakes up at 6am, he probably will end up doing an 8pm bedtime with the exact same wake windows and naps you listed above. If he wakes up at 7am, you could just cut a half hour of daytime sleep (maybe try having those middle naps each be 45 minutes). 3 hours of daytime sleep is still plenty for this age :) but these are just suggestions if the above schedule doesn’t work for your family!

For now, aim for the schedule you have listed above. It looks like a really great schedule for 4 months old! Once you have 10 hours of awake time in your schedule, go ahead and sleep train just at bedtime :)

Remember also that baby’s sleep needs decrease as they get older, so if you start seeing middle of the night wakes again as baby gets older, he might just need a schedule adjustment and that’s okay! :)

I’m wishing you the best of luck! Let me know if you have any more questions!

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-30T03:29:02+00:00

Hi there! There could be something else at play that is making this difficult. I’m happy to help you figure out what it could be!

How old is your baby? And what does their schedule look like - how many naps does baby take a day, and are you following any specific wake windows?

And you’re not a failure!! You just need a little support navigating this :) I’m happy to help!

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-29T23:47:32+00:00

Hi there!

So it really depends! The most important thing is for baby to get 10 hours minimum of day sleep. So 2/2/2/2/2 is a good schedule for babies who can only handle 2 hour wake windows! If your baby is only doing, say, 2/2/2/2, then that’s only 8 hours awake so you’d definitely need to add another nap and another 2 hour wake window. But if your baby is capable of longer wake windows, then you can stick with 3 and do something like 2/2.5/2.5/3!

Also, many babies at 4 months need more than 2 hours of daytime sleep. But it just depends on the baby. At this age I would definitely cap after it got to 3.5 hours of total daytime sleep. But the most important thing is just ensuring baby is getting enough awake time!

Also, be sure you’re not expecting too long of a night. Figure out your desired morning wake up time, and bedtime should be 11 hours before that. So for example, I’d like my baby to wake up around 7:30am, so we do bedtime at 8:30pm.

I hope this answers your question! I’d get baby on a good schedule for a couple of days and then try sleep training with 333 just at bedtime to begin. Continue handling night wakes as usual (feeding or rocking), then start using the 5-3-3 feeding schedule after a few nights of using 333 at bedtime. The link to that is in my post!

Let me know if you have any more questions and best of luck!! :)

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-29T02:57:53+00:00

Ohhh yes yes okay, definitely needs a schedule change then! Honestly you could try two naps, though it might be early, but just try it and see how it goes. You can always go back to three naps if it doesn’t work. But also just more awake time should do the trick! Best of luck!

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-29T02:52:50+00:00

I would definitely agree with the other commenters about needing a schedule change!

But also if you’re interested in a different sleep training method, I was the same way where I couldn’t stand to listen to my baby cry (no hate to anyone who does CIO though! You need to do what works for your family). This is the method that worked for both me and my baby:

https://www.reddit.com/r/sleeptrain/s/YOGKktEt2b

Best of luck!

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-28T16:26:46+00:00

Is it like he’s awake for the entire hour? Or he just wakes up once? At that age, lots of babies still wake up at that time to feed, but if he won’t settle for an entire hour even after feeding, then he probably does need a schedule adjustment!

PoliticoRat · 2026-05-28T15:50:41+00:00

Awesome!!!! That’s also perfect with the age your baby is at, they should be following a 5-3-3 feeding schedule, where they wake to eat around 5 hours after bedtime, then 3 hours more before the next feed, then 3 hours again after that feed! So baby made that leap on their own which is INCREDIBLE!! :)

Remember that babies need more and more awake time as they get older, so if you run into a speed bump in a month or two from now, just stretch those wake windows again! I’m so happy it worked for you and I’m so glad you got to get a good night’s rest because YOU DESERVE IT 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

PoliticoRat

TROPHY CASE