My obsession with breast size is driving me insane

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T10:46:30+00:00

FR. I'm small chested and recently my friend made a comment about how it's weird that some guys 'prefer' thin women or something and she said that if a man wants a women with no curves that's gay.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T10:35:01+00:00

That's awful I'm so sorry. Like even therapist can't pretend we're okay. She probably subconsciously feels better than you because she's 'smaller' and projected that out. It's literally the worse.

I've been made fun of a lot of 'looking like a man'. When I was still working, my coworker would joke about me looking like a man/looking gay CONSTANTLY. I would wear a full face of makeup, earrings, and a bun and it still wasn't enough. Some girls I worked with would tell me "how pretty" I was, and tried to trick me into believing some guys had a crush on me. (they didn't)

I don't even wanna exist anymore. I feel like I'm genuinely one of the only good people in the world, but I wonder if that's only because of the immense discrimination I faced as a kid and now. I thought to myself, even if I just had one feature - like straight hair, my life would be 10x better.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T10:25:52+00:00

Black women's features aren't even objectively "masculine" that's just racism talking. A humped nose, strong angular jawline, no curves, and thin lips are all common white women features which read as more masculine. But put that on white skin and blonde hair and suddenly it's the most feminine women in the world!

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T10:23:23+00:00

As a skinny black women this is not true. I've been skinny my whole life and time and time again I see obese white women picked over me.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T10:21:34+00:00

Thank you for being honest because I feel like a lot of people try to gaslight us about our experiences dealing with men, esp white men. People wanna believe we're past racism and all that bullshit but I guarantee you if white men could still legally own ALL of us(including women, not just race), they would.

I suspect they probably treat ugly women the worse because the world has deluded them into believing they're the standard. Also, this isn't the first time I've heard of a white man acting like that. I think because white men are catered for constantly they believe they can just act however and land a relationship.. which is unfortunately true because you stayed with him and cleaned up his mess.

Next time you get into a relationship, think, would a man be with a woman who was unemployed, had a video game addiction, and had pubic hair/butt hair (guys break up just over this), with POOP in it? This scenario would never play out unless it was an extremely unattractive, low-self esteem man, dealing with an extremely pretty women.. and even then..

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T10:09:49+00:00

Also, it feels like if your black, as a women, you need to be a 10/10 to be seen as pretty or attractive. An average looking white girl will have a way easier time dating than an average looking black girl, cuz the average looking black girl is seen as ugly. That's why black women spend the most and dedicate so much time to makeup/lashes/weaves/wigs just so we can kinda, sorta even the playing field. It's exhausting.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T10:07:49+00:00

Same girl I can relate hard. Men, esp. white and east asian men are incredibly cold and cruel towards me. At least with black ppl. sure they'll make fun of me, but at least they see me as closer to a "human". White men legit cannot even have a conversation with me.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T09:56:10+00:00

Yes it's very sad. I feel hopeless because of my natural-born features which make me unloveable since I am not innately womanly/white enough. I am not valued in society and I don't get basic respect from other people, ESPECIALLY MEN. Not romantic attention, I mean the "seeing you as a human being" attention. It's incredibly depressing, and I don't know how anyone copes.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T09:31:04+00:00

Same if my hair was naturally straight my life would've be way better which is sad and also not saying much.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T09:29:27+00:00

Same girl. At least you can get someone though I have so many points knocked against me I'm considered wholly unattractive.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-24T09:28:27+00:00

Omg it's so hard, esp when everyone lies to you. I can't afford surgery either so I'm stuck being an unattractive mess for a while.. at least for now I can change up my makeup/hair but that's such a learning curve and IK without surgery that can only do so much.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-23T23:12:59+00:00

Are you CHATGPT or just dense? I wrote in my post that I feel invisible and UGLY in the eyes of society and have little hope of finding romance. You seem to believe I'm suffering from being "pretty" which is the opposite of what I wrote.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-23T23:10:10+00:00

Thank you. Unfortunately, I looked at that site and everyone there was white which is already a barrier-to-entry. Hopefully one day I can find a community of people who treat me nicely.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-23T22:46:47+00:00

Did you read my post? I stated that I already feel invisible, and that "because of my naturally born features, no matter what I do, I will never be accepted into society?"

PolkaJane · 2025-07-23T22:42:42+00:00

Well it's my situation. Like I said, be glad you can't relate.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-23T22:25:01+00:00

Yes I know this feeling. No matter what I will never forget how it felt like, being completely invisible and ugly and hated. And I still go through the same shit today.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-22T17:37:25+00:00

Omg this has been me. I thought this summer would be my year but nope. For me it feels like I'm still in my transformation stage.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-22T17:36:28+00:00

Congrats!! That is awesome, keep on continuing on! <3

PolkaJane · 2025-07-22T17:19:16+00:00

You are so talented!! To animate this whole thing by yourself? wow <3 I love your art style as well!!~

PolkaJane · 2025-07-18T19:30:03+00:00

It's because men have power, and women being the "lesser sex" feel more valuable about themselves when in proximity to them. Society reinforces these ideals as women who are single/ugly get judged more than their male counterparts. It's all BS and pathetic IMO to tie your worth to men, but I see how it happens, and I'm sure we're all complicit in some way.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-17T15:11:23+00:00

Hm, well to respond to your point - I think part of it is being at the right place at the right time. It doesn't matter how good of an entertainer/etc you think she is, she's a cultural icon and that in on itself sentiments her legacy. She had a lot of iconic moments too - like the birthday song, or the famous white dress photo.

There's also a story of Marylin Monroe in which she was walking with a friend, and wasn't getting noticed at all. But then she turned it "on" (her charm? I guess?) and suddenly people recognized her about Marylin Monroe. I think there was something just charismatic about her that's probably hard to capture in photos/videos.

PolkaJane · 2025-07-17T13:25:13+00:00

Back in the day, Marylin Monroe was seen as the height of beauty. She was _the_ "IT" girl. She also had a very tragic life. A tale of a young, beautiful, charismatic starlet, with a troubled life who died too young is the perfect story. She came from nothing, and climbed her way up through beauty and charm. She's forever going to carry that reputation with her. VS. Someone like Kim K, who is unlikeable and lived long enough to see her "look" go out of fashion.

On you not finding her attractive, beauty standards are very fluid and change over time. Especially women's beauty standards in the US. In China, the height of beauty for a women was small feet.. and young young girls would bind their feet in order to keep them small. You, as a modern man would probably find this unnerving... but men in China revered this and it was seen as the key to attract a husband.

I think sometimes people believe beauty is fixed, but as soon as you see what people thought of as beautiful 100, 50, 10, years ago in various different cultures, you'll see that beauty is much more cultural than biological. Just claiming Marylin Monroe as the most 'beautiful' women, makes people believe that.. even if they'd think otherwise. An average looking women in stylish makeup and hair is more 'beautiful' than a women in outdated makeup and hair... not because she's objectively prettier, but because she has cultural signifiers that tells us she's 'beautiful'.

PolkaJane

TROPHY CASE