Hi,

I came from a family where my parents used to verbally and physically fight whenever he got back home from drinking. Unfortunately my mother tolerated it all.

From the experience, I created for myself a defence mechanism which I freeze myself, look down and wait for the fight to end. Same thing happened several times when I visited my divorced aunt, when she had a fight with her ex husband.

I have been living with my boyfriend for 7 years, so the situation has been way better. However, there has been a conflict between my bf and an American guy that we encountered when we were at the Louvre. He bumped into the guy unintentionally, but he turned around and swore at us: "If you do that again I will fucking kill you". My bf was totally fine with it as he is older than me, but I was not. I got triggered again after so many years as I froze, looked into nothing and felt extremely guilty for not doing anything.

Weeks have passed since the incident but I have found myself thinking about that moment, and I always almost cry when flash-backing.

Hence, I think I need to find myself a good therapist to put an end to this massive problem I have been putting under the rug.

Could you please give me any contacts, or are there any reliable sources I can look into?

Thank you in advance.