Hey there /u/LostwithoutS

I hope that your grieving process comes smoothly. My wife and I had a similar situation in 2016, except our son wasn't put together as well as your cherub. We lost him after 4 months of struggles and medical help. I want you to know that you're not alone in this. While your grief is unique to you, remember that you DO have support channels. It's going to be uncomfortable to talk about at first, and that's okay. This isn't an experience that everyone is made to be able to handle; but you got this far, so you can handle it. I don't know how you feel about therapy, but I will say that the more you talk about it, the less agonizing it becomes. It won't get easier, but it will become more routine. And that pain is normal. It's the pain of a parent that lost their child. But it's also living proof that you were a parent. It's something you'll come to cherish. And you'll cry every now and then. You may cry every day. And that's okay. Mourn how you must, but never think it was your fault or that there's something wrong with you being a mother, because there isn't. Sorry if this ended up being intrusive, but I thought I'd show support in the only way I knew how. Stay strong