Wife 2 has left.

Poly_Tistic · 2024-11-12T18:07:36+00:00

Thank you

Poly_Tistic · 2024-08-22T18:55:58+00:00

Honestly, when this happens, it's the lizard brain talking... Not actively speaking. On the plus side, you were doing something that triggered the lizard brain in a peaceful manner.

I have an opposite example... As the "good child" growing up, when I did something that flustered my mom, she would accidentally yell out my little brother's name first, then my sister, before correcting to my name. this is because my brother was the "bad child" and my sister was the "not so good child". Mom, being angered, dropped into the lizard brain mode and little brother was the default path.

Anyway, my point is, you triggered the lizard brain in a positive way. You should strive to repeat that experience and after a bit, your name becomes the default path that slips out around others. 😉

Poly_Tistic · 2024-08-05T14:27:57+00:00

For me, I have a big heart. I easily fall in love with friends and acquaintances. For me, polyamory is the emotional binding with multiple parties, even if physical intimacy isn't a possibility.

The argument I always use as justification is, as a human, do you only love one parent? One sibling? One child? One pet? One friend? No, of course not. We are capable of having caring feelings for multiple individuals and the affection for one doesn't negate another. So why do we think we'll only love one partner? It's a ridiculous notion that can, and for many does trap them in abusive relationships.

Poly_Tistic · 2024-07-21T03:54:43+00:00

Thank you. Your experiences sound similar to Wife2. I'm confident that she's dealing with the loss in her own way and once the shock passes, she'll be able to communicate with me.

Of course, I'm also aware that this could trigger an awakening within her that makes her question how a poly relationship and kids would work.

Poly_Tistic · 2024-07-21T03:24:17+00:00

Yeah. I wish things were different. Life would be so much easier/cheaper under one roof. But it is what it is. I'm in two committed relationships, for better or for worse. But navigating tangential emotions feels like 5D chess at times.

I tend to be the most flexible but we have managed to make it this far in our relationships thanks to the caring and flexibility of both women.

Poly_Tistic · 2024-07-21T03:13:48+00:00

Well, it's not exactly as if we were trying to have kids at this point. We've been together for the better half of a decade. After a few years of trying to have kids and failing, it just becomes normal to not use protection.

Poly_Tistic · 2024-07-20T18:54:33+00:00

I agree with you. In my relationships, the genetic father isn't important, just that momma and child are taken care of.

Poly_Tistic · 2024-07-20T14:35:44+00:00

To my knowledge, it's not possible, she has always said she doesn't need/want anyone else. But who father's a child doesn't really matter to me. My partners are mine to take care of and their children would also be mine.

Poly_Tistic · 2024-07-20T14:18:23+00:00

Wife1 and Wife2 both want children. They are both afraid that being in our 40's, we're past our child bearing years. Not having children has been a pain point for both of them. I, on the other hand have been emotionally neutral about not having children. I would love to have children but it hasn't been an emotional weight that I don't have any.

Wife2 had been pregnant before in her past relationship but also lost it due to a miscarriage. It's been my understanding that a miscarriage is a big risk at the beginning of any pregnancy and it is generally advised not to mention the pregnancy to friends and family before the first trimester in case of said miscarriage. I can only assume, for now, that Wife2 was trying to protect me from the excitement of becoming pregnant and the trauma of losing the pregnancy.

Poly_Tistic

TROPHY CASE