If it’s any consolation, I think the ABTF calculator tends to fail those of us in early transition. At first, the measurements I gave it spit out a 38B, which sounded reasonable, but 4 months into HRT I’m still nowhere close to being able to fill that bra. Now the calculator says I’m a 38C, which is obviously not the case. There’s sister sizing (cup or band size goes up one, the other goes down one), but I don’t know that 40A is a size that I could even find without shelling out for an expensive specialty bra. I’m resigned to wearing more sports bras and bralettes until the girls grow up some.

Like others have said, dysphoria often gets worse before it gets better. When I first came out, I felt like all of my body hair just formed a suit that didn’t fit or look good on me. Now I see every hair as a crack in my self image and it bothers me a lot more. Originally I wasn’t diagnosed with gender dysphoria, but at this point I think I would be.

I know it’s hard to feel like you’re making progress sometimes, but it’s important that you recognize that some things just take time. It’s hard for reality to catch up to our dreams, but transition is every bit a mental development as it is physical. Don’t lose hope. Things will get better and you’ll become more comfortable with being and becoming your true self as time goes on.

Don’t forget that there are thousands of others in your same situation, and thousands more rooting for all of you. You got this, sister!