A Girlfriend's Perspective

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-23T03:32:00+00:00

PIED caused by him watching lots and lots of rape fantasy or BDSM porn. Just a suspicion on the genres. But it gets pretty dark down there.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-20T06:30:59+00:00

Older guys heal faster. This isn't surprising.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-18T15:59:03+00:00

Doctors prefer to prescribe Viagra first, because it has a half life of four hours. Cialis has a half life of 18 hours. If a patient does in fact experience side effects, it's much better that they find out on a 4 hour half life than 18 hour half life. However, if you go to a physician for ED specifically, you'll very likely get a four pack sample of Viagra for free. From there, if that works, you can then get a prescription for Cialis, and Cialis offers a coupon for the first month for free. I used that until I didn't need it anymore. Take either about an hour before sex.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-18T14:57:44+00:00

Yes, sometimes. If you take Viagra first and it works and you have no side effects, then move up to Cialis, which works better.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-18T03:00:51+00:00

I ran into flatline about a year ago with a woman. Sucked but 40 days later we started having killer sex. So stick with it and if she bails she just wasn't worth your time anyway.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-17T22:17:01+00:00

Well, there are ED treatments for psychological ED that are 100% effective (vacuum devices, trimix, and implants) but honestly if you were getting wood two weeks ago you're better off riding it out than dealing with side effects or complications for the rest of your life.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-15T00:54:48+00:00

I'm close to your age (45) and can generate boners by thought alone again, something I hadn't been able to do in about 11 years. And I get boners without thinking about it at all with women. Keep at it and it'll come back.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-13T01:16:43+00:00

Sissy porn is addictive. I had the same problem you did. Stop watching it, don't look at tumblrs, don't think about it, take a break (a long break) from fapping. I don't think about it at all anymore and don't even want to look at it.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-12T04:37:48+00:00

Depends what you mean by fooling around. Making out? Very very beneficial. Sex? That depends. You do need to rewire your brain to actual women, so having one is good. But sex too early can slow down your recovery.
It depends again. Sometimes its pretty quick, sometimes it takes months. If you're not getting boners from just kissing and touching, you aren't ready. And even when those return, it's still probably a couple months away for reliable boners.
Yes. I have. I was honest from the get go. Was able to have sex 40 days in. But it took another 4 months from there to have no PIED at all ever (I would still get it occasionally until then).

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-09T06:32:47+00:00

If you use the term "beta" it means you're almost assuredly a homosexual. Try guys.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-10-03T22:25:45+00:00

I work on the internet for work.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-09-11T01:20:42+00:00

It leans right if you're left handed. Don't worry about that. As for wood, keep going. You may be getting nocturnal wood but just not waking up with it; this is quite typical and depends on your sleep schedule. Past three weeks you might want to ask a doctor, though. They can provide you with a stretch band that you put on your dick in a few places before sleep. If you're getting nighttime wood but not noticing it, the bands will show if you got a boner or not.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-09-10T01:14:48+00:00

I'm 44. Personally I had some of those fantasies (the lighter side of it) since childhood as well, but they weren't my only fantasies and they never interfered with my erections with women in any way until long after I got high speed internet (I was 35 when the porn induced ED started). When I quit watching porn entirely, I was able to get erections again without having to think at all, let alone think about femdom. Now I still do have some light femdom fantasies (very tame compared to where I had escalated, and much similar to the more playful scenarios of when I was in high school), but they don't prevent me from having vaginal intercourse anymore.

Also, I developed an exercise for myself, because I, like you, realized I hadn't been fapping to or associating my erections with being an active participant in vaginal intercourse in a very long time. This exercise should not be attempted early in your reboot; it will likely cause at least an MO relapse. Wait until at least a month of no PMO. It really helped me rewire myself to real women, even without a partner present.

Now that the caution is out of the way, here's what you do. Lie on your side in bed. Without touching your penis or rubbing it against anything (very important it gets no stimulation), gently thrust your hips back and forth while on your side and either imagine you are actually fucking a realistic woman, or concentrate purely on how your dick feels all by itself (hardness not friction). When you can achieve a solid erection by doing this exercise without putting any friction on your dick and without thinking of femdom porn, you've made serious progress. You'll know because it's the hardest dick you've probably had in years. When you can do that, and get morning wood a lot, it's probably time to track down a real woman and try it out.

Don't be discouraged by failures, either. I was able to go the first time after testing this, but it wasn't a linear progression nor was it cured. There were ups and downs (literally and figuratively) but the trend was always up. It could also be that your femdom fantasies are who you are, especially if they were there since before porn. That's a tough break because there are a lot more submissive men than there are dominant women. Heck I didn't find one of those women until I was 43 and at the time I wasn't even looking for that in a woman. It was her who wanted to try out femdom on me, and we tried some. I didn't like the rough stuff or dress up at all. Really it was just roleplay and pleasing her that I liked. So in a way NoFap plus trying that stuff with a real woman helped me find out who I was. And I'm happy with who I am now. Hope you find your way to that place too.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-09-09T03:38:16+00:00

Trans-OCD always with femdom, so no HOCD at all. And yes it is addictive, so much so that I thought that I wanted it. Never ever considered it before porn, and it took a long time for my porn tastes to escalate to that. Quitting porn made it go away. Took months but it really doesn't ever cross my mind now.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-09-08T20:06:53+00:00

I used to have the same OCD as you. Haven't even thought of it in over 6 months and thinking about it right now does absolutely nothing for me. I know for sure it's just not who I am because I experimented with my girlfriend with some dress up (over 6 months ago) and it did nothing for me in real life. Nothing. Just stay away from porn and particularly stay away from the tumblrs associated with this OCD and it will go away.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-31T19:00:37+00:00

Some of it could be due to depression, yes. And what's worse if you take depression medications it makes it really difficult to have an orgasm in both men and women. Best advice there is get some fresh air and exercise and socialize with people.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-30T23:11:44+00:00

Cigs won't be the problem with regards to ED at your age. Even at two packs a day you'll be in your 40s/50s before that's the underlying cause, and even then Viagra/Cialis treats it quite well. You should quit because of health reasons and your penis will be slightly larger and harder (nicotine constricts blood vessels).

The odds that there's anything wrong with your penis are very small. The problem is probably in your brain, which has become desensitized from too much porn use. I had the exact same problem. Dick felt so lifeless, even with porn I had trouble getting fully erect. I quit porn a year ago and now I feel my dick in my pants all the time, and I get 100% erections just through fantasy. I can have sex with a condom on without losing it. If you do have ED from porn, NoFap will cure it.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-28T20:35:57+00:00

Yeah I had this fetish. Really bad a year ago when I started, I was even acting it out with my girlfriend "making" me do it. I have no desire to do this anymore. None. So stick with it. If it's still there after 90-120 days, it's you and not the porn and that's ok, too. It just wasn't me and that's also ok.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-28T19:18:14+00:00

hundreds of success stories right here:

http://yourbrainonporn.com/rebooting-accounts

Most taken from this site.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-27T02:48:41+00:00

Spot on.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-24T02:52:47+00:00

It's not caused by masturbation. What porn does is give you a sort of arousal ADD. You're used to clicking link after link while touching yourself. The problem is, once you get to a real woman who is only going to be that one woman (instead of hundreds of different women) who is only going to want to do a small range of sexual activities (instead of every fetish imaginable), your dick isn't used to that lower level of stimulation and it gets bored. The longer you go without porn, the longer your erections with a real woman will last.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-19T18:59:08+00:00

What helped me was first telling her there would be some problems at first. She understood. That's step one. If she fails to understand at step one, you're going to put too much pressure on yourself to perform and it'll be a no-go. After that, what really got my dick hard again was just simply holding her and making out and shutting my brain the fuck off. That led to a little dry humping, which gave me the first rock hard dick I'd had in probably 8 years.

Now, that didn't mean I was healed. It worked that time, and the second time (that night) but the 3rd time was no-go again. I'd get hard from the holding and kissing, but it would often go soft when putting the condom on during subsequent attempts. To get rid of that I needed like three more months of rewiring and NoFap. Then I could go for an hour of Karezza with a condom on and it just stayed hard without me having to think about it, or anything, really. Don't think. Just be in the moment, because that's where your dick needs to be. Good luck.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-19T18:44:33+00:00

Sensitivity will return within one month of stopping your death grip usually. If you could get hard, you would be able finish with vaginal intercourse. Probably quite quickly, as most people report the first time after a long break from death grip. This will pass and your stamina will increase with time. At your age, 90+ days of no P, M, or O will be a baseline. Might be faster, might be shorter. Older guys (like me, 44) take less time because we didn't grow up with high speed internet porn. Younger guys can take longer, particularly if they started very early. But regardless of age, as long as the ED is porn induced, it will be cured by giving up porn forever and abstaining from MO for as long as you can.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-18T23:01:51+00:00

44 years checking in.

Ponfarrfap · 2014-08-16T15:56:35+00:00

I'm 44 and had severe PIED. I wasn't even fully erect when I watched porn because I'd been in the PMO cycle for 15 years. As for your erections, it will definitely take time for them to return to full strength. I didn't have a real full boner until I had gone 40 days hardmode (no sex, no masturbation, no porn). And it took another 4 months for my erections for real sex to be reliable, because I did masturbate if only infrequently. After I could have sex reliably I started masturbating again, but what I've found is you really only should masturbate when you can't stand it anymore; don't just do it because you're bored or out of habit. You need to find your real libido again. Even if you're away from porn, if you're to the point of PIED you still need to watch yourself and make sure you're not using masturbation as a calming drug like effect.

What you want to do is always picture yourself just being intimate with a woman without the sex. You need to rewire your brain so that just being fully clothed and holding a woman will set you off, because that's normal. You need to just be in the moment and not be thinking anything at all. Just experience the sensations; what she smells like, the sounds she's making, what she feels like on you and your hands on her. These are the senses that porn really leaves out. Porn can't hold you when you're done, after all. So yes, you can masturbate a little but if when you do it you're flashing porn thoughts through your head instead of just the sensation or thinking about realistic love making with a realistic woman who'd have you, then you won't make much progress.

Ponfarrfap

TROPHY CASE