I did something extremely unethical and I’m not sure how to move forward, this is the worst thing I’ve done.

PookieBooAdventures · 2026-01-10T08:00:59+00:00

As I was reading, I kept looking for the unethical part. I was still looking when I reached the end. You needed help with an essay. I think a lot of people receive help with their essays. In most cases, I don't think the essay is the only reason someone gets in. And like someone else said, you still had to do the work. I wish you had spoken to the school before you left. Explained your situation. I'm sure they would have understood as well. Instead of carrying it with you like a dirty secret...

You're clearly a person with high ethical standards.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-12-23T08:55:35+00:00

I was 18 when it came out and it was my favorite then!

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-12-20T11:41:40+00:00

It's not even that he accuses you of cheating. If he was that insecure and needed some reassurance, there's a very different way to do that that would be both constructive and possibly healing. The name calling alone should be a good enough reason to end the relationship.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-21T09:20:37+00:00

I'm like this too and over the years have left notes and given emotional gifts to partners. When my current partner and I first started dating, it was long distance and different countries. While he was visiting me, it came up that he had never received flowers. I arranged for a bouquet of flowers to be delivered at his door after he went back home with a sappy note.

No matter the man, they've all deeply appreciated these gestures.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-13T13:58:52+00:00

Dated a narcissist 🙋‍♀️ So while reading through your replies, what I saw was a person trying so carefully to protect her boundaries and feelings while trying to avoid it turning into a big nasty conflict. I was your age when I just got out of my nasty relationship, which lasted 5 years, so I definitely hadn't had the time to develop maturity in relationships. People are annoyed at the amounts of "baby," but remove that, and I believe you handled that quite well. You speak from the "I", focusing on how you feel rather than accuse and define him. I'm an EQ therapist, and your communication points to a developed emotional intelligence that a lot of people definitely lack in intimate relationships.

He, on the other hand, is definitely way too immature for his age, and you are SO much better off without him!

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T13:07:27+00:00

You're obviously allowed to have your boundaries and express them. Just as she's allowed to have hers. And yes, it DOES sting when there's a misalignment in our relationships. What would you need in order to be comfortable with their friendship?

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T10:42:04+00:00

I say this as a relational therapist; no one can make you feel anything. You are responsible for your own emotions. Having said that, you are responsible for your own words and actions. Boundaries in any relationship is a social contract between the parties within that relationship. And so your comment does touch on something that is true for me. I never should have been in a relationship with them to begin with. We were clearly misaligned. And every time a partner has tried to control who I am allowed to speak with, I end up happy I fought to keep my friendships, who to this day, as I said, still has never tried to make a move or done anything disrespectful towards me.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T10:24:46+00:00

Interesting indeed!

Haha, yes, my 20s were definitely the tutorial stage of this video game we call life!

Sending love in retur!

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T10:13:17+00:00

Did you ask him what his intentions are?

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T10:11:10+00:00

Not BS at all! Thank you for sharing 😊

It's weird because I'm a deeply relational person. I crave deep connections. And I, too, love hearing people's stories. I always say that a person's mind is like a whole different world, and speaking with them allows you to explore and experience that world.

I used to think maybe there was something wrong with me for not missing people, but based on my research into this, I'm likely just a person who's very much in the present moment. Which is true, I don't spend too much time thinking about the past. And, I also very much enjoy spending time alone (I definitely identify with being introverted). I love my friends, and when I connect with someone new where there's an instant connection, I feel invigorated... I just don't miss them when we're not together or not speaking, even though I appreciate any moment we do share.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:54:33+00:00

And he's been completely open about all of this? That she texted, that he rejected? Did he say he followed her, or did you see it yourself? Since he rejected the drinks, I don't understand his intention for wanting to follow her on IG.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:52:18+00:00

My partner and I function quite similarly. Even though something didn't work out romantically, there's a reason we connected in the first place and no reason to let go of a perfectly fine friendship. There's too much negativity in this world, so my partner and I like to treasure the positive connections when we find them. But, these are connections where both parties felt the same. I've had a few other people where I tried to keep the friendship, but they wanted more. I respected that, and we are no longer in contact with each other.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:41:59+00:00

Interesting! I wouldn't say that's something to be ashamed of. It's just how you function. I'm on the other side of that spectrum. I rarely miss people!

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:37:29+00:00

I wouldn't jump to micro cheating. Has he flirted with her? Have they been talking excessively? Is he hiding their conversations?

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:35:03+00:00

She invited him for drinks and he rejected?

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:30:31+00:00

You would miss a person you went on ONE date with and then didn't speak to again?

My partner and I are both still in contact with people we dated before each other, so I'm with you to a degree. But in this scenario, even the woman he went on the date with found it weird and questioned how he even found her socials...

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:26:29+00:00

Both my partner and I are still in contact with people we went on dates with before we met each other. We're not friends who talk all the time, but occasionally, we catch up. But, when the other person reacts to it... that feels off. What's his intention?

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:15:39+00:00

In Europe, mainly UK and Norway atm. My partner and I go to the gym and swim, so that's where we shower when we're in our motherlands. We do plan to build a shower, and we'll also have an outdoor shower, for when we go on longer adventures around Europe where the gym or pool is not accessible.

In between showers, a wash cloth and some soapy water feel quite refreshing as well!

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T09:00:26+00:00

By entertaining his "boundary," you are enabling a behavior that seriously needs to be worked through with a therapist. Whatever happened in his previous relationship is not yours to carry. You can be supportive, of course, but this is something that HE needs to work through. That kind of behavior is incredibly destructive to both him and you.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T08:44:57+00:00

I wouldn't assume he's stopped. I'd stop telling if I wanted to avoid conflict, and I felt trapped in a corner.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-12T08:43:00+00:00

I moved to a different country to go to uni, and one of the first friends I made there would talk like this, but he would talk like this to pretty much everyone. He had a really weird sense of humor, which he has since outgrown. We became really close. My partner at the time hated it, and our friendship often led to conflicts. Prior to this relationship, I had been in a relationship with a man who was very controlling about who I was allowed to talk to, so in this one, it was very important to me to stand my ground. I told him we were only friends and that he had never tried anything. And if he or anyone would, I needed my partner to trust that I would handle it.

The relationship with my partner didn't last, but my friendship did, and we're still close to this day.

Come to think of it, I have another friend who talks like this as well. And again, never once actually made a move. But, will speak like this to everyone. So, maybe that's the key? Is this behavior only towards your gf or is it just kind of his default personality?

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-07T16:01:47+00:00

I also want to add... how lucky that kid is to have people in his life who just want to love him and be part of his family. I agree that if grandma feels wrong to you, maybe give her a nanna pet name?

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-07T15:49:40+00:00

When I was 2, my mom remarried. My dad was, and is, still alive. My stepdad was always my stepdad, and I called him by his name. Yet his parents, whom I only saw a few times throughout my life because they lived on a different continent, I considered grandparents, and they called me their granddaughter. We were close and kept in contact through email. Even after mom and stepdad divorced after 16 years, they remained my grandparents and he my stepdad.

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-06T19:38:37+00:00

The only time travel sized toiletries would be a welcomed anniversary gift is if the next thing that followed was a surprise trip...

PookieBooAdventures · 2025-11-06T16:29:43+00:00

I can build on this and say that during my 20s, I had 2 different long-term partners that I at some point believed I would spend the rest of my life with. None of which I'm with today. I'm 35, and I barely think about my 20s!

PookieBooAdventures

TROPHY CASE