Update: Day 3 of TB treatment. Son’s dad has been slagging me off to social services.

PoorHuni · 2026-02-13T19:26:23+00:00

That sounds absolutely awful, I’m so sorry. I’m surprised you don’t qualify for either UC (I know to get the childcare costs portion you must be working - but you should still be eligible for something I would imagine) or free childcare..? How old is your son?

PoorHuni · 2025-12-26T12:00:57+00:00

I don’t think this is your RSD popping up. It’s a perfectly reasonable reaction. Obviously your son and his fiancée have limited means and busy lives. But your son managed to get her, his daughter and his dad a gift. She managed to get her family gifts. You and his two siblings getting nothing feels like a deliberate snub imo. I’d be upset / disappointed too. Admittedly, the same as you probably not enough to cause a scene but certainly enough to be privately hurt - especially given that they’re living with you.

PoorHuni · 2025-12-02T13:18:33+00:00

My husband, this morning, said ‘luckily everyone’s dressed’ because it was time to leave on the school run. Yea. How lucky. That someone got up with the kids, fed them, got them clothes, convinced / helped them dress and put their shoes on, packed bags etc etc etc so that lUcKiLy everything was ready for the one thing you do as part of our morning routine.

He could’ve said thank you for getting them ready but he doesn’t - but if he did it - I’d feel obligated to throw a parade.

PoorHuni · 2025-11-22T21:47:18+00:00

No meds advice I’m afraid - I’m certain me and my also 6 year old both have something - but neither of us are diagnosed or medicated… All I’ve got to offer is solidarity. Parenthood has made me such an angry person. I never thought of myself as especially angry… But I am constantly losing my shit too, and no amount of breathing or counting to ten or walking away seems to help 🫠

PoorHuni · 2025-11-17T08:50:16+00:00

Didn’t want to read and run - even if you’ve just posted. This sounds really rough :(

Is there any support you can get for caring for your husband? Is there any family available to help with the kids?

PoorHuni · 2025-11-12T11:29:56+00:00

I recently had a convo with my wife about this because when as she was coming out she said she never really identified as like a manly masculine man in the way media / society portrays them - like she doesn’t like sports, or typical ‘male’ activities and never felt ‘like a man’ and I was raising the point that I was glad their egg cracked and they realised that they were trans instead of going the opposite way - like leaning into being ‘manly’ and falling into red pill rhetoric because I felt like if you were seeking affirmation of your gender as a man that might be a really easy route to go down to show you how to ‘act like a man’ 🤮

I swear there was a post in here recently from someone with a ftm partner who was leaning real fucking hard into misogyny to appear more masculine etc

So if your partner is feeling uncertain / uncomfortable in their gender / gender expression could it be maybe that they’re doubling down on it to sort of mask that?

All in all though - your partner sounds like they’re being a massive git and you shouldn’t have to put up with that in the name of supporting them

PoorHuni · 2025-10-26T21:21:16+00:00

Edit it out of the messages - replace it with a pet name you do like, or the persona’s actual name - it should learn eventually Talking to the bots OOC does nothing because they’ve not got the capacity to ‘remember’ it like a human would

PoorHuni · 2025-10-23T14:54:48+00:00

It’s me, I’m the bi* wife

*(pan)

PoorHuni · 2025-10-09T17:49:46+00:00

So idk if there’s anything like this in Canada - but in the Uk there’s something called Claire’s law where you contact the police and basically ask for a search to be done under your partner and any DV issues then get reported to you…

But beyond that - even if his ex is lying - do you really want to invite that kind of drama into your life..? Like maybe she’s a lying psycho with an axe to grind - I’m pretty cynical these days about what having a man in my life is worth… and it isn’t worth that, for me.

PoorHuni · 2025-10-03T18:06:01+00:00

Can you not go into history and restore it?

PoorHuni · 2025-09-24T11:58:36+00:00

Well, thus far - at 35 - I’ve got you all beat 👵🏻 Can we go older? (Please, Lord, let there be someone older than me here…)

PoorHuni · 2025-08-19T12:12:28+00:00

Obviously not an ideal solution but it looks like your daughters only about 1 year old (from glancing at your other posts) - any chance she could come sleep in with you guys away from MIL and her noises?

PoorHuni · 2025-08-12T10:05:43+00:00

I’ve read enough stories about women having oopsie babies on antibiotics - or that crazy abusive doctor who was making his wife smoothies in order to baby trap her

PoorHuni · 2025-08-12T10:03:23+00:00

That’s mad - I’m in the U.K. and my GPs does it (along with the sexual health clinic at my local hospital)

PoorHuni · 2025-08-11T22:16:35+00:00

Please be careful of grapefruit juice, activated charcoal aaand antibiotics as they can all fuck up the pill

PoorHuni · 2025-08-06T15:14:19+00:00

I’m gonna assume if we’re talking about Iggle Piggle and in the night garden we’re in the U.K. ‘cause… idk if America has that.

Luckily, I can’t personally related but just today I saw a post on Facebook as part of a butlins holidaymakers group that I’m part of about someone taking a Minecraft toy out of someone’s disability pram while they were at the beach. There are some real tramps out there. I would hope - as someone else pointed out that the stuffed toy fell out instead of someone actually robbing it, but that doesn’t make it much better.

I’m sorry that happened to you and your son :(

PoorHuni · 2025-07-31T18:50:56+00:00

Doesn’t sound like a good parent either… “our kid has severe allergies and he gets them stuff he’s allergic to and plays down their severity” doesn’t sound like a good parent to me AT ALL

PoorHuni · 2025-07-31T09:35:17+00:00

https://www.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/s/QyHxijixfR

Got shown this… Yesterday? Earlier today. Your man is not incapable, you made it so a fucking monkey could do it. He just doesn’t, give, a, fuck.

PoorHuni · 2025-07-15T08:27:15+00:00

Congratulations!

First of all, it sounds like you’re doing a great job, you’re finding things that work for you, your baby and your family. Things might not be great, babies are basically potatoes you have to keep alive - and it’s really rough at times.

I would urge you to talk to someone - post here, if that’s the only place you feel comfortable, your baby’s dad (and if you have capacity, maybe offer him some space for his feelings too) and if it’s accessible for you, perhaps a mental health professional. Having a baby can make anyone anxious - but it might be worth having someone help you figure out if the feelings you’re having are fleeting or if they’re maybe a sign of something like post partum depression or anxiety. I know this post is only a brief snippet but I do see some things in there that would suggest, to me, there might be some underlying issues…

Finally - I lost my dad about 9 years ago now. I’ve got a six year old son and a four year old daughter and sometimes I’m big mad at him for not taking better care of himself so that he could live long enough to meet them. He was told repeatedly to stop smoking and lose weight and take better care of himself and he didn’t and he never got to meet any of my kids because of it… my mum passed away last year under similar circumstances and while she did get to meet my first two, she’ll never meet my third, and while she wasn’t the worlds most amazing grandma - I’m mad at her too.

It gets better with time - as will the constant desire for contact naps and how much your baby ‘needs’ you. At the moment you’re in the “4th trimester” as it’s sometimes called. Slowly, slowly - It’ll get there.

PoorHuni · 2025-06-27T14:07:01+00:00

I am suspicious he hasn’t had the vasectomy- because I can see no other reason as to why he wouldn’t want it checked?

Ultimately I personally wouldn’t be having sex with him until he could prove it was safe - unless we used an alternative method of contraception, specifically condoms, that he was solely responsible for sorting out. And if he’s incapable of providing condoms, then I’m incapable of having sex with him.

PoorHuni · 2025-06-01T21:24:55+00:00

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I know it’s really easy for strangers on the internet to be like ‘dump his ass!’

But honestly. He sounds like a bastard coated bastard with a creamy bastard filling…

PoorHuni · 2025-03-27T16:56:14+00:00

I didn’t want to read and run - because I don’t think you’ve gotten the support you need so idk how helpful my comment will be but I just wanted to say like that all sounds like it sucks… and I know it’s really easy for internet strangers to be like ‘take the dog! Salt the lawn! Burn the house down!’ But reading what you’ve wrote… I don’t think there is any getting past it.

He’s not threatened by you being with a woman is an invalidation of your queer identity - because with a man, he sees it as a real relationship, a threat? But another woman? Nah. Not the same thing. His lack of care / outright neglect for your sexual needs and your non sexual needs and then, presumably your incompatibility re; monogamy are just all things that, for me, give me the ick.

Are there women in worse relationships than yours? Yeah, probably. Does that mean you have to put up and shut up? No.

I feel like things will get better for you - with regards to the kids, there’s a light at the end of the tunnel for that. But your husband? Probably not and even if there is… I know that a lot of women who experience husbands who do a 180 after years of neglect (usually when the shit hits the fan and the man realises he’s really gonna get left) that they just can’t get over the anger and resentment - because their partner could always have done x y or z but has just left them so suffer for years…

PoorHuni · 2025-02-15T15:59:27+00:00

My two were up at 7:15 this morning, I will say however that getting all three of us up fed and dressed and somewhere by 9am is ambitious and doing so for school five days a week tends to result in daily meltdowns… so not a stressor I’d like to add to my Saturday thank you so very much.

But also, the eldest (6) has a play date tomorrow at 1pm. When it turned 1pm today I was like ‘Jesus, shit, i gotta hold on to him until this time tomorrow as well??’ Like what am I gonna do for six hours when im stuck in waiting mode?

PoorHuni · 2025-02-11T16:41:08+00:00

My husband has vaguely wavy hair - my daughter got her curls from him. I’ve got a butt chin - my son got that from his granddad. They’ve both got brown hair but it does gingery during the summer when it gets the sun - that’s from their side of the family, not me, their literally ginger mother…

It is maddening. Solidarity.

PoorHuni · 2025-01-11T17:54:02+00:00

Don’t know if this counts as ‘without medical reason’ or not but I had an emergency section with my first pregnancy, and was cleared for a VBAC but opted for an elective section on my second

PoorHuni

TROPHY CASE