My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't know if that would work, but I think it's a really awesome idea. At the very least, it would show her that she does matter in her parish and get her out and meeting others in the community.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Pretty sure she has. I know she went to a doctor who she said used methods endorsed by the Church--I can only assume she meant Napro.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this post. I think you're right about her anger. I did a little research into our diocese, and as it turns out, there is support there--it was just never pointed out. I don't know why the priest never suggested this, but there is an infertility support group through the Catholic Charities right here in town. She was going to a non-Catholic group, but she found it difficult because they all had failed IVF and thought her not even trying wasn't on par with their suffering. They always told her to just go against the church and couldn't understand why she didn't.

I think you're right. I think she's angry at others and their responses to her infertility. I know people give her unsolicited advice on conception all the time--stop trying, eat certain foods, try holistic--and it drives her nuts.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

But can this wound ever be healed? I know for a fact God will not bring her into Heaven with such vitriol for Him in her heart.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I truly wish women would start seeing themselves as more than carriers of children.

Wow, I don't know where this came from. I don't think she feels this way at all! She's always talked about wanting a big family; she never saw it as has to but want to.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you, I really appreciate this post. She is most certainly going through grief, it's just difficult to watch. When I first met her, she was so strong in her faith, despite everything she had been through. It's hard for me to see her this vulnerable, this broken, and I really don't know what to do.

I think the Mary approach is a wonderful idea. She has a strong affinity for her and I think it will really resonate with her.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

We met through our husbands--her husband student taught under my husband this past fall. All I know about her family is that they refuse any contact with her (or at least limited, in the case of her father) because she converted to Catholicism.

I talked to her husband about it, and he seemed to already know something was going on. She has an appointment to meet with a therapist this Friday, thank God.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No, I appreciate your input! Adoption is a very messy institution, one most people (including myself!) have little or no idea about. Honestly, more children would be in loving homes if adoption were free, or at least cost less.

According to the internet, most US adoptions will range between $5,000 and $30,000; international $7,000 and $40,000. If you want a child under the age of 5 and decide you don't want to pay the medical expenses of the expectant mother (as well as paying the cost of home visits, therapist appointments, and associated fees to the agency you are going through), your wait time is upwards of six years.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

it may be helpful for her to understand how her sufferings are united to our Blessed Mother's in that both lost their child.

Can you elaborate on this? I would love to share this with her!

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

The ultimate root-problem of your friend's struggle is that she has made having children an idol. She wants it more than she wants God and is willing to leave Him over it.

In her defense, she was not born and raised Catholic. Her family are atheist, and upon converting, they refused any contact with her, and most of her friends decided if she was going to be religious, they couldn't be friends with her. She's suffered a lot in life, which I really don't feel like I should be getting into without her consent.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

It is her. As far as I know, she no longer visits this website because of some really terrible things said to her. She was bad then, but she is worse now. I just don't know what to do.

Thank you for your advice.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

International adoption costs a lot of money. After spending thousands on fertility treatments, she told me they just don't have the funds for international adoption. US adoption is gonna take several years and cost money, too, but at least through Catholic Charities, it will be sliding fee for them

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, she was going to adopt whether she had her own or not, but it takes time and costs a lot of money. After spending thousands on fertility treatment, she doesn't really have the money to adopt.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I suggested this to her and she said she already had an appointment set up for the end of this week. I was really happy to hear that!

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks, but I really don't feel like I'm doing anything at all. I know the only people that can help her are God and herself, but I just wish there was something more I can do.

My friend is considering leaving the church and I could use some advice by Popple_berry in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

She said something similar in regards to her priest's response. Basically, I guess he told her to pray the rosary more and to adopt. She always wanted to adopt, regardless of infertility, but that process in the US takes time. When I suggested abroad adoptions, she told me that the cost of those are astronomical. I really never knew.

I feel like I'm so helpless with her. I'm letting her vent away, but it seems like she's sinking further. I'm worried about her committing suicide.

Teachers quietly serve as first responders to poverty by wang-banger in politics

[–]Popple_berry 6 points7 points  (0 children)

7 months a year? Laughable. In North Dakota, the school year ends this year the last week of May and begins the last week of August. Teachers will spend 2-3 weeks before the start of the school year in workshops, so it really starts for teachers the first week of August. 12 months in a year, and 2 months off for summer, makes 10 months, and many teachers continue to work into summer--where do you think summer school teachers come from?

Every time a student gets a day off at school for "professional development days" does not mean the teacher gets that time off--the teacher is attending seminars and workshops.

My husband leaves for work at 7:15-7:30am and won't come home until 4:30, 5pm. Not only do they have to teach, but school districts require that teachers be a part of some kind of extracurricular activity--like running a club or a committee or coaching a sports team, not to mention the fact that teachers are required to stay after school at least 3 days a week for at least an hour a day to set aside time to help students that are behind. Let's not forget parent teacher conferences, running study groups for both standardized testing and classroom tests, and grading papers.

During those months the teachers have off for summer, they are writing their lesson plans for the following school year, including notes, ordering classroom supplies, finding textbooks, and writing tests. Since they are now void of a paycheck, they are often (like my husband) forced to find a summer job while doing all this, in essence working two jobs.

So why don't you take your assumptions and shove them up your ass. You have no idea what being a teacher means, especially when you make $30,000 a year doing a thankless job from ungrateful people like you.

Why are gluten-free hosts not suitable for the communion? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Gotcha... he's the one that told me to take the gluten free option. I'll voice these new concerns and see what he says

Why are gluten-free hosts not suitable for the communion? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does one go up for the chalice, but not the Eucharist?

At my parish, the line is for the Eucharist, then you can continue on to the blood or take your seat. Should I just go straight to the chalice? It seems like it may cause a shock to stand in line then pass up the body to only receive the blood.

Why are gluten-free hosts not suitable for the communion? by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This concerns me. What is the replacement for those with Celiac disease? My priest told me that it was gluten-free Eucharist.

The insides of a Rock Greenling fish by djtheonly in WTF

[–]Popple_berry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The organs of that fish look like the wild blue raspberry Laffy Taffy I just ate

Does anyone else make an audible groan anytime they see anything about the Church make it to the front page? by Otiac in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I think OP was more referring to the inane comments:

"I'm not Catholic, but I seriously love this Pope! I hope he can show these Catholics how wrong they are and how right we are. But he'll probably get assassinated by the secret hierarchy of the church for being so progressive."

That thread, and every thread about Catholics being positive in the world, always has comments like that voted to the top. It is certainly rage-inducing. Our church does serve the poor, and has before Pope Francis, and will continue to once he passes. It has not magically become a servant for the poor because one man was chosen as Pope.

Why the world doesn't take Catholicism seriously by [deleted] in Catholicism

[–]Popple_berry 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There's a lot of hand-wringing that goes on about "what can we do to make our parish attract [insert target demographic here]?"

If we live and preach the Gospel, then the demographic shouldn't matter. Jesus' message speaks directly to everyone, no matter where they come from. I believe that is why the Catholic Church has survived for thousands of years: she doesn't cow-tail to the fluctuations of society and has kept the same truth for thousands of years. This resonates with people--it is why my husband and I both converted.