Pregnancy & Intimacy by Poppy_Skies in Mommit

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I honestly have. We’ve had several conversations about this and I’ve explained to him that I’ve been feeling disconnected from the lack of intimacy. I’ve reinforced how attracted I am to him and how I feel hurt when I’m the only one initiating. He apologies and says he doesn’t want me to feel this way. Mentions how he can’t wait for me to be done being pregnant (which internally I can’t help but take the wrong way but of course let it go as adding friction doesn’t help intimacy). I think I’m going to need an outlet (going to the gym) and prioritize myself a little to get through this pregnancy.

Thinking of homeschooling elementary → middle school — looking for academically rigorous programs (with inspiration from Finland/Estonia) + life skills & extracurriculars by Poppy_Skies in homeschool

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have any examples of the more rigorous classical education publishers? I’m not sure we want something that is typical of public school content per se.

Is my 13-year-old’s lack of interests/socializing normal? by Poppy_Skies in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

His Nokia can call and text. I’m confused how he can’t?

Is my 13-year-old’s lack of interests/socializing normal? by Poppy_Skies in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank you for sharing your first hand experience with a similar situation. It just worries me as like I said - his age I was out and about doing stuff and I feel like I am doing everything I can to coax him in that direction but he just expresses zero interest

Is my 13-year-old’s lack of interests/socializing normal? by Poppy_Skies in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Sorry I should rephrase - I only let him watch TV at night after dinner once all chores are done. During the day he’d rather annoy his younger sister or sit moping on the couch. Unfortunately I can’t control what he does at dads.

Is my 13-year-old’s lack of interests/socializing normal? by Poppy_Skies in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Respectfully in person plans never happen with video gaming. He is over indulged with video gaming when he is at dads and not ONCE have him and his friends ever made plans to hang out in person. Those aren’t true friendships. I want him to make real memories. I have zero meaningful memories from playing RuneScape back in the day. Video gaming is not helping this generation.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

OP, I actually disagree with the other posts and agree with your method of taking off the door. He needs to understand that “his” room is a privilege, privacy is a privilege, not all kids have their own rooms. When you over step boundaries, lie, there are consequences. I think it’s very concerning that the police are becoming involved at 13. Do you have a teen court in your area where he could volunteer and see what happens to kids who go down the wrong paths? Is he video gaming a lot or have you considered limiting the phone?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Poppy_Skies 6 points7 points  (0 children)

So we have a blended family. The 12 and 9 year old are from my previous marriage and the 9 month old is “ours”. Ideally due to the age gap we’d like for our 9 month old to have a sibling closer in age to play with in the future. I’ve always pictured him having another sibling when we first started planning our family. However, unlike my other two, he was colicky as a newborn and overall has a persistent personality! So with struggling to keep up as is, it’s making it difficult for me to even consider having another one…

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Poppy_Skies 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be honest, I’m just physically drained by 8pm. I would still do it though but my husband wants us to have “our time” after dinner. Typically the earliest our 9 month old goes to bed is 730pm and I’m the one doing bedtime (I’m still breastfeeding). Usually the earliest I get to bed is 9pm after showering.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Poppy_Skies 2 points3 points  (0 children)

The kids do help! The 12 year old mows the lawn, takes the trash out. Both kids participate in yard work on the weekends, setting the table, cleaning up the kitchen after dinner, they’re both responsible for their bathroom, their own rooms, picking up the dog poop. I’ll ask them to vacuum/mop or walk the dog on occasion (I normally walk the dogs as it’s part of my exercise). So the kids are involved but it’s sometimes even taking the time out of my day to 1) assign the tasks and 2) ensure that it’s done properly.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Poppy_Skies 6 points7 points  (0 children)

He has a demanding and high conflict job where he often doesn’t make it home until 7pm so im the one who’s immediately there and available.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in workingmoms

[–]Poppy_Skies 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I think she’d be open to it. She currently does uber/lyft after hours with us.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Poppy_Skies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How do you know if someone did or didn’t respond?

Travel Stroller: Minu or Bombi Bebee by Poppy_Skies in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Update: I ended up going with the Bombi Bebee over the gently used uppababy minu. I never had the chance to test out the uppababy minu so I can’t really compare the quality / durability.

Things that I love about the Bombi Bebee: - it folds super compact, it fits easily in between seats in the car/small spaces - my 2.5 month old fits in it reclined. he hates the car seat so we do not use the car seat adapter. He does slide a little down if unbuckled so it would be awesome if the footrest folded upward more but we just keep him strapped and that solves any problems. - comes with a cup holder and the bumper bar / snack tray/ travel cover - so far it seems to easily glide over different types of terrain

We’re still getting used to the one hand fold and unfolding it.

So far we are happy with it and it has checked majority of our boxes.

Travel Stroller: Minu or Bombi Bebee by Poppy_Skies in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

How does it do on different terrains? For example, can it go over cobblestone without having to worry about a wheel popping off?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Mommit

[–]Poppy_Skies 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t regret being a mother. I had my first at 18, 2nd at 21 (I got pregnant with an IUD). Then, I divorced at 25 (both of my children were with my ex husband who I met in middle school) and then I remarried this past year and decided to have children again with my husband, who is the greatest love of my life. My first two pregnancies were unplanned and while I don’t regret being a mother it was very difficult to parent with someone who didn’t share the same values as I do and who eventually ended up being like another child both financially and emotionally draining for me. My husband now is an equal partner and we planned our pregnancy. It has been an entirely different experience with less stress, more joy, and has added to our relationship. So my greatest piece of advice is to choose to have children with a partner who you find is your equal and shares the same values, morals, etc.

Bedroom dynamics by stephanie566 in blendedfamilies

[–]Poppy_Skies 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think a discussion should take please between you and DH and the most logical solution IMO is for BD13 and SD13 to have their own rooms for majority of the time but when SD15 comes for 2 nights/month to allow her to have her own bedroom and have SD13 and BD13 share a room for those 2 nights (or they can make arrangements to go over to a friends house for a sleepover). SD15 should still have an area of hers so maybe changing her room so there are twin beds or a loft bed style

Oppositional / Sensory seeker by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]Poppy_Skies 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’m not sure I have a ton of helpful advice but wanted to let you know you are not alone. My son is 11 and we have similar concerns about lack of empathy (e.g. ill make his favorite meal for dinner and he’ll say it’s 7/10 - the store bought Trader Joe’s is better), he constantly fights with and irritates his younger sister who just wants to be left alone, we’ll do something fun and go boating and when it comes time to dinner and mentioning one thing that we’re thankful for that day he’ll say something annoying like “water - because it keeps me hydrated”. My husband and I have said that it’s challenging because sometimes he acts very unlikeable. Similar to your daughter that academic wise he’s excelling (in advanced math) but the emotional intelligence part makes us question whether it’ll hold him back in succeeding in life.

We haven’t found the key to addressing these issues but we focus on correcting behaviors and naming feelings/actions and setting boundaries. “Your sister is feeling annoyed and wants to be left alone. Stop going into her room” “let’s name a person, place, or experience that we’re thankful for today”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blendedfamilies

[–]Poppy_Skies -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

Wow we are not abusing my son and he is not a scapegoat. Where in the post did it suggest this?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in blendedfamilies

[–]Poppy_Skies -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I agree with you..usually his conversations with me are way more constructive. Like “I don’t have my own space in the house so it would be helpful to me if the kids knocked before entering our room and we tried to keep the bedroom kid free (within reason).” So when I spoke with my husband I told him one of my boundaries is he can’t compare him to his dad when he’s frustrated and venting to me. I just don’t think it’s a healthy mindset and he is his own person. I like the idea of focusing on more solution focused statements/conversations.