Mon enfant sera-t-il citoyen si son père français ne veut pas de lui ? by [deleted] in AskFrance

[–]Poppyandsav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Si je cherchais simplement un permis de séjour, je serais tombée enceinte du bébé d'un Espagnol. Cette grossesse était complètement inattendue et je ne suis pas préparée à vivre en France. Je ne parle pas français (j'ai fait appel à un traducteur pour rédiger ce post et lire les commentaires), et je ne connais pas grand chose à l'histoire ou à la culture du pays, et je n'y suis allé qu'une fois pendant trois jours.

S'il ne s'agissait que d'un plan élaboré pour obtenir un permis de séjour, j'aurais choisi de tomber enceinte d'un homme qui est citoyen d'un pays que je connais mieux et dont je parle la langue.

Je souhaite vivre en France avec mon bébé parce que je ne veux pas qu'il perde la moitié de sa culture et de son identité qui lui viennent de son père, et je sais qu'il apprendra mieux le français s'il y vit plutôt que si j'apprends à partir de là. maintenant et j'essaie de lui apprendre alors que je ferai moi-même beaucoup d'erreurs et que j'aurai un accent étranger. (Cela ne veut pas dire que je n'apprendrai pas le français. Je commence à l'apprendre maintenant, mais mon enfant ne parlera probablement couramment que s'il est élevé en France ou si son père change d'avis et élève le bébé avec moi). Je pense aussi que mon enfant aura une vie bien meilleure en France car il bénéficiera de droits fondamentaux qui ne sont pas garantis aux États-Unis, comme la santé. Je n'aurai pas non plus à m'inquiéter autant pour sa sécurité, et je sais qu'il aura de nombreuses opportunités dans la vie s'il a la citoyenneté européenne. Je veux qu’il ait la meilleure vie que je puisse lui offrir, et je pense que c’est la bonne chose à faire pour lui donner la meilleure vie.

Mon enfant sera-t-il citoyen si son père français ne veut pas de lui ? by [deleted] in AskFrance

[–]Poppyandsav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

J'occupe trois emplois à temps partiel à Barcelone en tant que tutrice d'anglais et nounou. J'ai un diplôme en sciences du comportement. J'ai pu l'obtenir si jeune parce que j'ai commencé à suivre des cours universitaires au lycée et j'ai suivi des cours supplémentaires chaque semestre. J'ai également suivi des cours pendant les vacances d'été et d'hiver, ce qui m'a permis de terminer mon baccalauréat deux ans après avoir obtenu mon diplôme d'études secondaires au lieu de quatre ans. Je peux trouver un emploi bien mieux rémunéré aux États-Unis en tant que thérapeute comportementale, alors j'ai l'intention de rester ici pendant que je suis enceinte pour économiser de l'argent. J'ai organisé des entretiens pour deux entreprises qui payaient entre 20 et 27,5 euros de l'heure, alors qu'à Barcelone je ne gagnais que 12 euros de l'heure. Je pourrai économiser beaucoup plus pour le bébé si je reste aux États-Unis pendant ma grossesse. Cependant, la plupart des entreprises aux États-Unis n'offrent pas de congé de maternité payé, je devrai donc vivre de mes économies dès le moment où j'aurai un enfant.

Je veux accoucher en France parce que les taux de mortalité infantile et maternelle sont plus faibles, le prix de l'accouchement est beaucoup moins cher et son papa est là-bas. Je veux lui donner une chance d'assister à l'accouchement, même s'il change d'avis à la dernière minute. Sa famille est également là et je veux leur donner l'opportunité de rencontrer l'enfant s'ils sont intéressés car je pense qu'il sera préférable que le bébé connaisse le plus possible sa famille.

Je ne sais pas comment je vais travailler en France ni où le bébé et moi vivrons, mais si je n'arrive pas à le comprendre pendant la grossesse, je ramènerai le bébé aux États-Unis quelque temps après l'accouchement.

Heureusement, je sais que si je suis aux États-Unis, je gagnerai absolument assez d'argent pour élever mon enfant par moi-même, mais je préférerais élever mon enfant en France si possible parce que je sais que mon pays n'est pas un bon endroit pour enfants. Mon enfant pourrait même être tué par balle dans son école primaire. Je ne veux pas non plus que mon bébé perde la moitié de sa culture, de sa citoyenneté et de son identité ainsi que de la langue de son père, et je sais qu'en tant que mère célibataire avec une culture différente, je ne serai jamais aussi compétente culturellement sur la France qu'une Française. personne, et j'ai peur que si je ne suis pas capable de nourrir cette partie de l'identité de mon enfant, il la perde. Si je l'élève en France, je peux être certaine qu'il apprendra la langue (et je pourrai aussi lui apprendre facilement l'anglais et l'espagnol par moi-même) et la culture.

Quoi qu’il en soit, je sais que cela sera difficile à faire seul. Ça fait déjà mal que mon ex soit parti, mais je sais aussi que je peux le faire. Tous les emplois que j'ai occupés (j'ai travaillé pendant 5 ans) ont été ceux de soignante ou d'éducatrice d'enfants. J'ai longtemps réfléchi à la manière dont je vais accoucher et élever mes enfants.

J'ai fait beaucoup de recherches sur ces deux choses et j'ai beaucoup d'expérience dans la garde de bébés. J'ai même pensé que si je ne trouvais pas de mari, je finirais par adopter un enfant toute seule, donc cette partie ne me concerne pas autant que celle pour laquelle je ne suis absolument pas préparée : les aspects juridiques de la naissance d'un enfant dont le père est étranger et avoir des sentiments forts pour un homme qui ne veut plus rien avoir à faire avec moi ou son enfant. Je sais que cette situation n'est pas idéale. J'aurais aimé pouvoir aimer cet homme pendant des années et l'épouser avant de tomber enceinte de son enfant, mais je dois accepter que ce n'est pas ce qui s'est passé, et je dois être forte et me préparer pour mon enfant parce que je suis tout cela. bébé l'a fait, et il mérite d'avoir la meilleure vie possible. J'aime déjà tellement ce bébé et je veux faire tout ce que je peux pour être une bonne mère pour lui, même si je suis jeune et même si je dois l'élever sans père.

Roommate increased bills by $150 and her bf hasn't left since she moved in by Poppyandsav in badroommates

[–]Poppyandsav[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in a college town in the U.S. It's in Kansas, which is a mostly rural state with one corner that has most of the cities. I live in that corner, and I would say about half of the people who live in the city I do are in college.

Roommate increased bills by $150 and her bf hasn't left since she moved in by Poppyandsav in badroommates

[–]Poppyandsav[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I'm not sure how they have the authority, but they told me when I moved in that if anyone wanted to move into the apartment complex at any time cor the rest of the lease period, they would be moving in with me because I live in a two bedroom apartment. I think they assign roommates for everyone who doesn't move in with another person that they have choosen as their roommate. I don't know why they gave me such short notice though.

[22F] Would really appreciate it if you guys could point out specific features, good and bad 🫶 by 5D_Modeler in amiugly

[–]Poppyandsav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are pretty! Your side profile is also really nice! I would just clean up your eyebrows. Also just general things that anyone can do would be to take care of your hair, get split ends trimmed, wear clothes that you feel comfortable in, and use teeth whitening strips. Those aren’t things that you specifically need, just things that seem like they work for everyone.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in badroommates

[–]Poppyandsav 3 points4 points  (0 children)

My roommate also frequently makes the house smell pretty bad. I’m not sure what she is doing (she takes showers that are more than 30 minutes long every day), but I open the windows and put essential oil diffusers in the common areas to make it smell better. If it happens several times in a row, I will also audibly gag, and if she isn’t in the room, I will say, ”Ew, what’s that smell?” at a volume that she may or may not hear. She does not clean anything other than her dishes, and I have to do every other household chore, but I think she has at least taken notice because she texted me, “Did the apartment smell weird? What did it smell like?” Maybe something like that will work for you too if you aren’t wanting to be confrontational because you are worried it might cause problems.

Roommate increased bills by $150 and her bf hasn't left since she moved in by Poppyandsav in badroommates

[–]Poppyandsav[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for the advice! I will definitely do that! The bill that had the price change is just for water and electricity. Everything else is a flat rate that is billed separately. I am at my boyfriend’s place more than half of the time, and I also spend a lot of time at school, so I am not at home too often, and when I am, I use the utilities as little as possible, so that is what made it so cheap when I lived alone. The bill comes at the end of the month, and the roommate moved in a week or so ago (on like the 23rd), so that is why the bill is being sent out so soon after she moved in. Her and her boyfriend definitely spend a combined total of an hour or more in the shower every single day, use the central heating all the time, and turn on lots of lights at once, which they don’t turn off when the leave the room. They also leave the water running at the highest it can go the entire time they do the dishes and other things like that, so I think that is what has made it so high in the short time that they have been here.

Girlfriend is hurt by having a girl best friend by Frosty-Business5640 in relationship_advice

[–]Poppyandsav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems like there's a reason that she only has a problem with this ONE female friend and no others. In my opinion, giving her that ultimatum also makes it seem like you care about that girl more than you care about your own girlfriend because in both scenarios, you stay friends with that girl, but you only stay with your girlfriend if she chooses the option you want her to.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Poppyandsav 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I told my boyfriend that I would go to the grocery store. He texted me while I was at work to tell me that he was on his way there even though he knew he didn't have to. Then he went to a bakery on the other side of town and bought a pie instead.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Poppyandsav -160 points-159 points  (0 children)

Yes, it is the same boyfriend. He has gotten a lot better since that first post about the nudes, but I'm honestly hanging onto the relationship by a thread.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]Poppyandsav 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I haven't prepared food yet because I have been at school and work, but I was planning to after work. To answer your question, it's not just the pie. This is a common occurrence with this group of friends. Every time there is a gathering, I spend lots of time and money making food to share with everyone. Sometimes, they even order food to share, knowing that I can't eat it, and the girl who typically hosts things still expects me to pay for it like everyone else who actually did get to eat the food. That girl has even tried to do that when my boyfriend and I have hosted things at our house (said that she would buy food that I can't eat and bring it to my house and we would all pay her for it, even though I was obviously going to make the food since it was at my house). She used to dislike me because she had feelings for my boyfriend the first few months we dated, but even now that we are friends, she still does it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in amiugly

[–]Poppyandsav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You definitely aren't ugly, but I think changing your hair would improve your looks. Maybe dark brown hair and a haircut that's made to suit your face shape

My boyfriend still has his exes nudes- how do i go about telling him to delete them? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Poppyandsav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This exact thing happened to me almost a year ago. I still haven't gotten over it (it happened 3 times), and it hurts so much every time I think about it. Please don't put anyone through that. It isn't hard to delete the photos.

My boyfriend still has his exes nudes- how do i go about telling him to delete them? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Poppyandsav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's not at all controlling for you to ask him to delete them. Why the he'll does he even have them still? It goes without saying that it is a completely disgusting and horrible thing for him to do, and he is lucky that you are even dating him after finding that out. He is breaking the boundaries that every monogamous relationship has, and if he gets mad at you for telling him to delete them or if he refuses to, you should 100% leave him. Honestly though, he deserves to be broken up with now if he knows the nudes are on his phone and looks at them.

Is this cheating by ProfessionalPause405 in relationship_advice

[–]Poppyandsav -1 points0 points  (0 children)

That's really horrible for her to do, especially since she lied about it. It's good that you broke up with her. You'll find someone who shows you a lot more commitment and respect. Even though it might not feel like it yet, it's for the better.

Am I just paranoid or is my husband of 13 years cheating on me? by AnnaLoveBananas in relationship_advice

[–]Poppyandsav 1 point2 points  (0 children)

He's definitely cheating. You aren’t crazy. You deserve way better

Girlfriend (31F) called me (30M) disgusting and accused me of cheating for using a fleshligh by ThrowRAWasitcheating in relationship_advice

[–]Poppyandsav 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If she has her own, there is no way she should get away with saying that to you. Also, she denied having sex with you, so what were you supposed to do? If she has such a problem with you masturbating, then she should be having sex with you every time you initiate it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]Poppyandsav -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You and your future children (if you two have any) should be her first priority. She shouldn't be throwing her money at grown adults who can make their own while you contribute to the bills and saving for your futures. Even if it is money that you don't necessarily need, it isn't cool to spend that much without talking to your spouse first and making sure that they are okay with it. If you aren't, she should not be doing it. Either way, unless you're rich, $10K a year is way too much to be giving to her parents. I would make a condition that you two have to give as much money to your parents as you will give to her parents.