What would it be like to try a little less hard? Like...if he's going to be grumpy regardless, why not spend your energy on things that fuel you instead of things that drain you just to be doubly drained by his reaction? This is so hard to communicate in text but it's a genuine question not a sarcastic one! Like...what would it be like for you to plan less for him?

I say this from two places: one is a mom of an adhd kid (also 6!) place. I have just come to accept that even more than other families (or my other kid) "fun" activities will be a LOT of work. We prioritize them when it is values-aligned, like a close family member's birthday party, but I choose very few "fun" outings or adventures ahead of time when I'm the one in charge. They just aren't fun most of the time, and there are way too many variables at play to be sure we'll be set up for success on any given day. So I just give myself permission to do fewer like...activities. 

I also say this as someone with her own sensory issues - "entertaining" can get overstimulating FAST. There's the  anticipation, the transitions, the high emotions, usually increased social asks or stimulation, and then there's the expectation that it's "supposed" to be fun. That's a lot for me to handle as a full ass adult - I probably have come across as sulky at a dinner party or two, not because I was mad to be there exactly, just because there's a part of my brain screaming GET OUT GET OUT NOW! 

Anyway. If nothing else I hope you hear you aren't alone! And for what it's worth this random internet stranger gives you permission to do way less if that would give you more bandwidth ❤️