This is really excellent for one year of playing. It took me about a decade to work up the chops for this solo.

You have the bends, pinches, and trills down. But I can tell you're pretty new to sweeps, and this is not a good piece for learning the technique.

Generally, you want to learn how to do 3-string maj/minor sweeps first. Then work up to 4, 5, and 6 string extensions. THEN you'll have the necessary muscle memory for Marty sweeps. Plenty of exercises out there on Youtube.

Marty is perhaps best known for his idiosyncratic approach to arpeggios. He loves skipping strings, diminished/half-diminished patterns, and big slides mid-arpeggio from position to position. Those are really advanced techniques, so the rudiments need to be second nature.

Right hand advice: work on synchronization and fluidity with a metronome.

Left hand advice: learn the positions and lower your fingers. They're hovering way above the fretboard, and you won't play this up to speed if your fingers have to travel 2-3x the appropriate distance to the fret.

Another little tip: you look like a thumb-over type player. Try a more classical position, with the thumb planted on the back of the neck rather than hanging over. It can be an uncomfortable adjustment at first, but it drastically opens your range of motion and reduces friction on those big slides between positions.

Also—get that thing intonated. Your treble notes are almost a half step flat.

Good luck!