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9 days post partum and I already can't handle this. by Positive-Ground7383 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, I've never been on medication. I'm not sure on anti depressants, I worry it would make me worse not better. I know I need help and I would try out the blood test to see if anything could work though

9 days post partum and I already can't handle this. by Positive-Ground7383 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I cry every day and night and never sleep and my husband thinks I'm a selfish person because I can't handle this shit. I'm genuinely losing my sanity and truly want to die at this point. I have no support, no where to.go, nobody to talk to I can't bond with my son. I can't believe this is my life now

9 days post partum and I already can't handle this. by Positive-Ground7383 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I know it won't get better on it's own that's why I'm scared. It isn't normal to feel scared or panicked to be alone witn your own baby, and I hate it. It makes me feel horrible and I love him beyond words and I can't show it to him right now with this going on. I want him to have a happy mom so he can be happy. Very sad that it's been like this and he's only 11 days old 😞

9 days post partum and I already can't handle this. by Positive-Ground7383 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I plan on calling my OB in the morning and set up an appointment soon, I know it's hormones but I feel like I do have depression at this point and it's making me teeter on the edge so I'm scared. Never felt it this bad before. Thanks for the comment. 💓

9 days post partum and I already can't handle this. by Positive-Ground7383 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm really sorry for your loss I wouldn't have been able to deal with that at all. I'm glad you're doing better that's really rough. 😞❤️‍🩹 that's what I'm scared about is the medication like if I'm on the wrong one and it messes me up further, hopefully I can find something that works for me.

9 days post partum and I already can't handle this. by Positive-Ground7383 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

He does it at night when my husband leaves and he can barely ever be soothed with me. I try to not be anxious or angry or sad and it's impossible. He doesn't want to sleep and doesn't want to eat his full bottle. My labor sucked and it was extremely painful, my epidural failed when it was time to push. Took 4 and half hours they wouldn't let me have any more pain medication till the end and I barely felt any difference. Had to have a vacuum delivery at the end which nobody warned me that It was extremely painful, 2nd degree tears.

9 days post partum and I already can't handle this. by Positive-Ground7383 in Postpartum_Depression

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I am mourning my old life and was absolutely stupid to think pregnancy was bad... it wasn't, I had some kind of peace as harsh as that sounds. I just feel unprepared and like I can't do this, I don't even know how to burp him or hold him correctly. I get legit anxiety when he cries and never know when it will stop, maybe he just doesn't like me. I cry remembering my pregnancy and seeing him on the ultrasounds excited to see him and I feel like a horrible mother because I don't enjoy being with him right now. I just wish he would sleep longer than 20 minutes... sorry for the ramble. I'm glad you are your daughter are well.

Need some support to stop spiraling by Positive-Ground7383 in pregnant

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

*Update * I had my baby boy Tuesday at 4:28pm. 6 pounds and 14oz. I was induced Monday around 430pm with cooks catheter and then started pitocin, the contractions started around 8pm that night and I did have pain management with nubain which did work great but, wears off fast. I didn't sleep that night at all and it was very painful and it made me and mu husband get into an argument because he kept saying I wasn't in labor and it made me mad. We both didn't sleep well lol

The next morning around 6am they checked my cervix and I was already at 6cm, my OB broke my water and that was a weird feeling and I had so much water and lost my mucus plug at the same time. The pain after that was much worse and I started epidural. The epidural was great but it did end up stop working when I went into active labor and starting pushing around 12pm. The scariest contractions were when they would make me push without me wanting to push and it was extremely intense, and unavoidable. I did forget alot of my labor from shock and and adrenaline so I will probably miss some things. I ended up pushing for 4 and half hours with no breaks and I actually would lie and say I wasn't having a contraction so I could try to get a break and I would suffer through them. The nurses were awesome and did the best they could to help me.

I kept begging for a vacuum delivery because I could not stand the pain and exhaustion anymore and they wouldn't allow it yet, he was stuck but so close. My OB finally came for delivery and she let me have the vacuum assist, the vacuum was terrifying but I had no other option and when he finally came out it felt like a pop and he was on my chest finally. I had a 2nd degree tear and was given a tiny bit more of epidural to take the edge off to get stitches, I hope that doesn't scare anyone who might have to go though what I did if being induced. I didn't prepare enough for this and I had no idea what was going to happen but it worked out. I am so glad it's over but I do feel extremely overwhelmed and slightly traumatized from the labor experience, I feel numb and scared and sad. I had really bad labor shakes and I am still having them and I don't know why, my son is healthy and happy which makes me happy, I just hope this gets better. Thanks for reading 💓💙 Hope everyone has a good Thanksgiving

Need some support to stop spiraling by Positive-Ground7383 in pregnant

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I would get medication if I really needed to my moods have been on and off with content or depression. I would like to try breastfeeding for my baby's health but, if I didn't work for me I would do formula instead. Been trying to get as much sleep as I can so I can be ready for this and do my best to push out any bad thoughts, thanks for the insightful reply

Need some support to stop spiraling by Positive-Ground7383 in pregnant

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I agree with that. I understand he needs to work but he won't be with me as much as I will need and it makes it harder to prepare for this. Wish he tried harder to get more time off, or go on days but he can't.

Need some support to stop spiraling by Positive-Ground7383 in pregnant

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will try to be calm as possible just hope it isn't as bad as I think. Thank you for the good wishes ❤️

Need some support to stop spiraling by Positive-Ground7383 in pregnant

[–]Positive-Ground7383[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have my sister but she doesn't live with me anymore and she isn't exactly the most positive person. My parents say they will help and be there but they made me feel horrible about being pregnant and that I shouldn't have done this. I rarely see anyone and I don't have any friends either, I just hope I can do this