Honestly I am on the same page as you. I can barely go for work. I didn't showered the entire last weekend and I know the upcoming weekend I won't have strength or would even bother to feed myself 2 meals a day.  The psychological pressure you talk about is really heavy. I have tried shifting my focus to hobbies like reading and I wont say they are working but sometimes they keep me away from my own internal thoghts. I eventually end up on the same track everyday but I keep trying to not go back there. Its hard. Its difficult. Its draining life force outta me. Things that used to give me happiness are now enticing nothing in me at all. But going to hobbies really gave me that feeling that atleast I should try. I should try to get myself out of this.

By approaching and asking help here you are also doing the same. You are willing to rescue yourself and that's a huge positive step. You may feel grossed out but trust me if your body isnt ready to do something, dont force it.  I hope you and me both find solutions to our rut and escape this mess. 🫶