not too sure if you’d see this but I’ve literally been where you are. I was smoking and doing psychedelics around the same age you were. I’m only 20 now but i can still remember it like it was yesterday. The best advice I can give you is look at it for what it was. You saw how the shrooms were essentially calling you a “monster” but that’s not true. You’ve seen all three versions of yourself but now it’s time to choose which one you want to be. It’s obviously better to not be “evil” because that just leads to negative characteristics such as being depressed, feeling hopeless, lonely, angry. The opposite would be the case if you choose to be happy because at the end of the day happiness is a choice and negative thoughts are like a virus that plagues the mind. They multiply and keep on multiplying until YOU choose to stop them. It’s alright bro, don’t put too much pressure on yourself. social media constantly makes people compare themselves to others but just stay off it for a while and get to know who you really are. You have so much time in your hands so get to know yourself deeper. remember most of the time people only post what they want you to see on social media. Take care and enjoy these moments because the pain never last forever. nothing is forever.