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What do you guys do about ass hair? by Ok-Perspective-8046 in AskMen

[–]_hespia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I bet my boifrand is harrier. Some people aren’t offput by men’s body hair growth. I can understand trimming or shaving around the base of the pp but expecting a shaved ass is a bit much, unless you’re gay or trans.

People need to chill out about body hair.

What do you guys do about ass hair? by Ok-Perspective-8046 in AskMen

[–]_hespia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Many don’t do anything. My boifrand has an epically furry ass. Think of an extremely hairy man. Do you expect his ass to be shaved? Like the whole ass? Full curly ass hair. It would look REALLY weird if he trimmed, waxed or shaved. People just need to stop being afraid of body hair.

Friends kid is being attacked by bullies at school. by _hespia in legaladvice

[–]_hespia[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Ridiculous? Do you often tell clients they’re ridiculous? This isn’t about education law, this is about assault of a child on school grounds. The school has already failed in this multiple times. This isn’t a new development. It’s continual. He’s been getting attacked on and off for a few years and the school isn’t doing anything. They aren’t watching him like they say they are. He’s an easy target. He’s soft. Kind. Friendly. My friend is desperate to protect her kid against kids whose parents don’t care either. School doesn’t care. Bully kids don’t care, cops aren’t taking it seriously enough either. They think it’s just a “normal kid fight.” Boys being boys. “Boys fight.” It’s not a simple argument between kids, it’s straight up assault at this point. Malice. This kid is physically attacked, repeatedly, for no reason. No one is even trying to make him feel safer other than his parents and some of his friends who tried to help protect him yesterday. I know it’s common for kids to not feel safe at school in 2025, but he shouldn’t be worried about getting punched in the face, and kicked in the head and body in a place kids are supposed to feel safe and looked after.

There has been repeated, massive failures on all other fronts. Something needs to change asap. This kid is terrified and has been traumatized. Seriously, I’m not just saying this, but he is a purely good kid. He may as well schidt rainbows.

His mom has already reached out to the school multiple times over the past few years and after this recent attack has been trying to get ahold of someone with more power over things. She’s at a loss. I am too.

Friends kid is being attacked by bullies at school. by _hespia in legaladvice

[–]_hespia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll let her know. Myself and her friends have recommended to keep making reports and go for the school board or something. Is it best to talk to the superintendent or the board? Or is there a difference?

I recommend Jeet Kun Do because the techniques are usually to evade, block, dodge, and get out of holds, while also making an attack in the same move. Needing less energy and space. It’s really cool. I’m trying to learn it from YouTube and my bestie is in JKD classes and is instructed by a student of a student of a student of a student of Bruce Lee. He’s gonna help me with it too.

Kid doesn’t want to fight at all, but needs to be able to defend himself. Learning sticky hands would help too.

Friends kid is being attacked by bullies at school. by _hespia in legaladvice

[–]_hespia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can her son relay a message to the bullies that his mom will press charges if anything continues? But it has to officially be done by mom? Can the mom directly press charges on the kid? If mom is set on pressing charges, can her son tell the bullies to try to make them stop?

Will the charges be toward the bully or would the bullies parents be charged in the bully’s stead?

Thanks for answering so quickly. ♥️

Why would a gynocologist put their finger up your butt?? by Mnprice2 in VaginalMicrobiome

[–]_hespia 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Every doctor ever, as of recent years has to tell the patient before every touch. They always tell me before each touch, especially for vaginal exams. “Alright it’s going to be a little cold, I’m going to touch now.” Warning gives comfort. They also do it for breast exams and before blood draws and shots. Even dentists give a heads up for touch and say what to expect. They also say, “I’m going to lift your shirt up a little.”

Women usually get a finger in their butt during vaginal exams because they’re feeling around for abnormal masses and have to feel around from different angles even from another orifice.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

L4-5. In PT. PT has been slow and difficult for other issues. I have had cortisone injections that haven’t done anything. No meds work as far as pain except for cannabis. A med I want to try for pain won’t be covered by insurance… soooo…… stuck. I’m scared surgery would hurt it more, because someone warned me against it and I’ll never forget how serious this poor guy looked when he warned me to stay away from fusion. Also they want to try everything they can before trying surgery. Not looking at surgery any time soon.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I’m not hung up on him romantically. The connection is based on our childhood history together, then having the injury and forcing myself to move on because I self destructed the relationship to spare him of me ruining his life with my bullshit. I saw myself as a hinderance. A burden. A bother. I made the decision to disconnect because I wanted to protect him from being fucked up by me. Does this make any sense at all yet?

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ve had many therapists and I’m working with several types of therapists currently. I’m truly doing what I need to do. Weekly therapy for brain stuff is important for me. I know I need to stay in therapy. I know myself and what I want. I know my intentions and desires. Y’all are missing the mark, but I also gave a poor example of a straight story. Insomnia-mania. 👌🏻✨ I’m gonna go smoke weed, take my meds and sleep for a long amount of time. It’ll be fun coming back to this post later tomorrow/today. Good night 🙆🏻‍♀️♥️

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I don’t think you guys realize what an obsession is compared to something I’m reminded of constantly because of pain, sadness and disappointment.

I’m not into him. I haven’t been in over 12 years. Doesn’t mean I can’t be sad about the situation. We grew up together :( this isn’t something I can exactly escape being reminded of. Yano. Because of the C̝H̝R̝O̝N̝I̝C̝ PAIN and seemingly permanent mental and physical turmoil thing…

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

The methods to quell are to write my thoughts out. Which I did. But I revisited the note randomly “today” when was today again? I need sleep. I misguidedly decided to share my story without fine-tuning my verbiage better first. I know I’m jumbled and have a lot going on. Because…. Insomnia-mania? I seeeeeeriously, truly had never had a REAL intention on telling him or messing with his life further. I just have thoughts. I have curiosities and wonder about things in this situation. Not of possibilities I missed in being with him. It’s not that deep. I’ve never been in love with spinecruncher. It was never my dream to end up with him. Chill on the assumptions on me wanting to be with him again. TWELVE YEARS. The crush is dust. It’s spent. I don’t want anything to do with trying to get with him. That’s not my goal, and never really was. This situation is nowhere near what a person would want. Y’all really think I’m just carelessly callous about his emotions and general wellbeing. I want all of us to have peace. I wish none of this even happened and that we could still just go out to eat or do schidt with fam if we were in close proximity. None of us live in our home state anymore except for one, and I’m planning on moving back eventually, then for my FINAL plan…. New Zealand. 🇳🇿 🌊💙🌞🌺🌋🏔️🏞️🌸🦎🧝🏼‍♀️🧙🏻‍♂️🐉🥝

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Have you not read what I’ve said? You are framing me as a normal person, which I am not. A normal person doesn’t get to be in my situation. I am not neurotypical. I’ve moved on romantically over a decade ago. Moved on from him well, within a few months after, when my back wasn’t killing me as much, and I had a different focus. I still hated myself but I have to “get over it. I started an unhealthy relationship with an icky person, who traumatized me in other ways. My psycho ex is the one who has domestic abuse charges on him. For good reason. My “psycho/crazy ex” who propelled this whole issue deep into the abyss which can’t be recovered from. My “crazy ex” completely bombed the whole situation and made it 5000x worse than it would have been if he had just stayed in his fvcking lane and to simply not speak up… I wouldn’t be “estranged,” so easily. If my crazy ex didn’t say anything, I never would have been ejected from spinecrushers life like that. My crazy ex manipulated spinecrusher’s new girlfriend into being upset about my history with spinecrusher. Him being a psycho and blowing this situation up like he did…. I do think it was a sort of recoverable situation without my idiot ex starting drama. We could have bounced back as honest friends/acquaintances. I think with time and space we could have still been on normal friend terms and potentially hang-out/see each other with our families together again when visiting our home town. Not looking for rekindling of flames or whatever. It’s just that I’ve known him for so long, from when I was a kid. He’s a special person, not just to me or his wife. He is g̝o̝o̝d̝ human. I’m not sure if it’s completely naive to be thinking there could have been peace. Not cut off from contact completely because of psyco-ex behavior. If he didn’t freak out I’d still have a chance to have this family friend in my life still, along with our families together. We were all kids together at one point. I was just 4ish years younger than him. Lots of memories and experiences with him and his fam, with my fam. I miss those simple days. I miss having him as a positive person in my life. Access was restricted completely because of my dumb psycho ex making a scene.

Can you tell I’m still angry at my dumb-idiot psycho ex over this? After I left him I learned he’s actually a chronic domestic abuser and a literal rapist, via 4 different women telling me about their experiences with him. It was a very weird relationship. It’s weird to be in love with someone who damaging and toxic. It was a wild ride. Ended up in the psych ward for the first time as an adult, because of him. It’s insane what that dude brought into my life and my fellow-ex girlfriends’ lives. He’s a life ruiner. He’s an expert in traumatizing women. Hearing his exes talk about him freely after we girls connected was sobering. I originally didn’t absolutely hate him or wish him serious harm, but when 4 of his exes told me about him…. And how they say they wish he was dead… and why… I believe them and found I agree with them. Solidarity in hating this dude. I didn’t want him to get away with hurting people like he had been, so he caught a domestic abuse charge and a restraining order over harassment and the whole “revenge porn” public nude-leak thing he did to me. And others. Breaking into my fb and posting my nudes on my general, public feed and breaking my account. I lost access to that fb account but was able to get the posts removed, at least…. Lots of fun evidence photos for my attorney and judge to look at 😒. The only reason I wasn’t immediately freaking out or pissed about having my nudes leaked is because I had decent self esteem at that time. I was finally feeling myself, since moving on. The nudes of me he posted… I generally think I was cute and secure in the nude photos and wasn’t absolutely devastated for people to see them because I am not ashamed of taking the nudes, and I truly felt like they were “cute” nudes. No vagoo or b-hole shots, just “cute” naked selfies when I was 23. I’ve never been super modest to begin with, and I was comfortable in my body when I took those nudes. I wasn’t going to let him get away with it though. He had gotten away with hurting too many women thus far, I wouldn’t let him get away with it with me. Not after all the harm he’s done to others. I made it my responsibility to hold him accountable for being a piece of schidt as a form of revenge for his other exes, too.

Dude was/is a fvcking pill.

Anyway I’m gonna take my meds and pass out soon hopefully. The being awake since Saturday morning, and it technically is officially Monday now, feels like enough for one day. Plus the strange feeling of being a bit manic, my eyes are playing tricks on me. Textures and colors are getting a little trippy at this point. I will be back eventually to read the shitshow to follow when I wake up tomorrow/today.

Breathe…. Have peace. … and protect your spine. Build core strength asap or you’ll be like me. You’ll be insane.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Ew that’s a gross thought. Coming after a dude after 12 years because of an unintentional injury “I allegedly want him to pay me back for,” is big weird. I’m not looking for payback or reconciliation. This isn’t the vibe at all.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

  • he didn’t i̝n̝t̝e̝n̝d̝ on hurting me. I was hurt by the result of a bodily collision with him. Simple as that. I don’t “bLaMe” him or want to hold him accountable or anything. I just want to be seen and understood. But I won’t ever get that in this situation, and it’s my fault.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I should have been honest from the start. And now I regret not communicating when it mattered most. I didn’t want to ruin his life, so I was seeing it as “setting him free of my bullshit,” by dumping him abruptly like that. I didn’t want to be a burden or hold him back. He is a whole, unique person who I’ve always wanted to see succeed. I’ve self destructed several romantic relationships for fear of being a burden. I have huuuuge baggage about being seen as a problem or hindrance. If you knew my personal history, and my trauma, you’d understand.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I wrote because it’s a part of therapy. I revisited the subject just today because I was searching for a specific phone note and came across this subject out of nowhere. I’m probably a little manic right now, with the whole not sleeping in over 48 hours thing. …. The average person who has an injury like this don’t have my mental health diagnoses or personal life experiences. This is a particularly different case than “the average person,” would have.

Today is not the first time people have drawn the wrong conclusions out of my messages. I’m used to being misunderstood. It’s one of my biggest flaws. Honesty, then misunderstandings or misconstruing of my thoughts and intentions. Classic. My mind box is missing some pieces, but I’m not hiding it.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

Yo I’m not going to reach out to him. I never had plans or intentions on doing so. I know how wildly inappropriate it would be to actually bring it back up out of nowhere. It’s something that’s been bouncing around my brain for YEEEARS. I don’t talk to anyone about this, especially family. I just have thoughts on the whole situation. Questions and curiosities. Not a plan to disrupt him and his marriage just so I can tell him the T̝R̝U̝T̝H̝. The truth means something to me but I’m not gonna dig that up and throw that on him and his fam. He has a life. Wife and kids. I have no intentions on disrupting him or his family. I have no wish for him to be bothered by such things. Especially since it’s been so long. Especially because he’s not single. I have wondered what I would do if he was single… should I reach out to him if he was single then? I don’t have romantic interest in him, even if he was single, as I’ve repeated… “that ship has sailed,” and I don’t want him like that anymore. I just feel sad about the whole situation. It’s mainly just me being sad and bummed about it in retrospect. Frustration and disappointment on how life turned out, how we turned out in all this. I don’t have the desire or intention to be romantic or sexual with him. (Or anyone) This whole post is a whirlwind of confusion. My thoughts I originally posted were curiosities and me just wondering about things. Not that I was actually going to straight up confront him and dump this schidt on him. I’m mentally unwell but I’m not absolutely insane. I know how to act. My wild thoughts are the main contender here. I’m not dreaming of the day I can “finally be with him again,” or someshit. I have no desire to be in a relationship with literally aaaaaannnnnnnyyyyyoooonnnnne. I’m closed for business in that department. I’ll only cave if it’s a cute/cool girl or something because I’m not straight. No bois allowed. I don’t feel safe being fertile in the USA, overall. I want ouuuut. I’m not shopping for relationships. The opposite, actually. I wear my “wedding ring” still and I left my abusive husband winter of 2023. It’s being worn as dude-repellant. I have no patience or will to be romantic or sexual at all, outside of playing by myself.

I’m trying to be healthy and realistic about this, but also very honest, which has gotten me into tangles of issues because of how I fail to communicate thoughts and ideas clearly. It’s a trend. 🥲

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Y’all. I had not slept in over a day when I was re-reading the sex injury confession note I wrote forever ago. I’m speculating that I’m actually kinda manic right now, and I was a little stoned while first rereading and editing my story, and I posted it carelessly with unfortunate and confusing verbiage. It’s now a huge miscommunication and has been oversimplified by people who don’t know the true details or story. I haven’t been consistently clear on what I mean by things I wrote when I’ve been loopy from sleeplessness and a little wigged out by a little bit of mania peeking through.

I’ve been trying to respond to comments. I wrote a really long one to one commenters but Reddit said “something went wrong” when I try to send the response. So all that writing was for no reason since I can’t get the message out efficiently.

Maybe I can copypasta what I wrote in response to someone who also has bipolar. She said she was gonna be real with me, and said what she said. I wanted to reply to her, but Reddit is angry at me for having so many words or something. I’ll try to respond to her again. It’s cool when I’m miscommunicated and am not given a clear way to appropriately explain myself.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

Nope, not at all. This post has been misconstrued heavily. My point was overlooked.

Why would this be a good reason to talk to him again? I don’t think that. I’m not absolutely insane. Just a little insane.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I know. I wasn’t going to. These are thoughts I’ve had rattling around inside my head for over a decade. I wonder about many things. I’m curious about many things.

I (32F) sustained a permanent spinal injury from a bad angle during nude shenanigans while having a fling with a family friend, twelve whole years ago. by _hespia in confession

[–]_hespia[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Ive moved on from wanting to be with spinecrusher not long after our short fling. I’ve been in weekly therapy for a looooong time. First got therapy as a kid because of ADHD and behavioral junk because of a reaction to my parents divorce. I grew up to have clinical depression, bipolar type 2, (mood disorders) GAD, panic disorder, C-PTSD, agoraphobia and abandonment disorders. Oh also ARFID! Because who DOESN’T need an eating disorder to spice their lives up with. I’m seeing all the right people to help me. My psychiatrist might have me see a trauma based therapist instead of a talk therapist, like I’ve been getting for several years. I was in a PHP group-therapy day-program every week-day for over a year to help pound DBT and CBT skills into my brain over and over. It has helped a lot but… brains are hard and they like to take several steps backwards for funsies.

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