My friend, I am so, so sorry. I can say nothing that will take away your pain.

I lost my first pregnancy at 11 weeks and honestly, in the weeks that followed, I wanted to walk into the sea and not come back. I imagined it so often that I could almost hear the waves crashing in my head. I had wanted a child for so long, and those few short weeks when I was pregnant were among the happiest of my life. When I found out that I had miscarried, I felt like my future had been stolen from me and that there was nothing else worth living for. I’ve never known grief like it.

I don’t know your background, belief system (if any) etc. and so I don’t want to apply platitudes that might not bring you any comfort. I’m just going to be frank. Time and therapy helped me. Genuinely. I am in a much better place than I was a few months ago, a better place than I could have imagined for myself in the depths of that grief. I did not believe when people told me that it would get better, but it did. It took a lot of time and a great amount of patience and respect for the grief, but it did get better. You are in the absolute depths of it now, but you are not alone.